Sexual Relationships
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Is it normal for a guy to become distant after having sex?

Met this guy few months ago on insta. We chatted A LOT everyday. He was very interested in me. 2 weeks ago we finally met and we had sex. The sex wasn't the best due to the fact that i am not experienced (had sex 3 times so far). He knew this tho, i told him. He said i shouldn't worry. He actually treated me nicely during sex. After sex when we got dressed he said that we look so cute together and was just very sweet. Till here everything was okey tiiiiiilll my insecurity started kicking in later on that day via messges.

The next day he said he is busy and can't text much (he never did that). I accepted it, left him alone ofc. I then said if everytjing is ok, he can tell me if he doesn't want contact anymore. He said Im being silly and should stop. I stopped. He again said he's busy (yea righ..) i left him.
next day he didn't text at all. I then told him i wanna cut off contact with hin cause he clearly doesn't want me. He said okey. Then i said he couldve been honest with me, is accept it if he only wanted sex or if i was ugly and he doesn't want me anymore. He then said I shouldn't speak for him and got angry and said i was being clingy (which i wasn't, i left him alone) . I then texted him a lot and he ignored every message. Read it and didn't reply. This went on for 2 weeks. I even apologized few days ago, but he just left me on read. I also told him to block me, but he doesn't.
Then he saw it was my bday on my instastory and he wished me a happy bday. I said thank you. Since then he hasn't written me at all and he also doesn't watch my stories anymore.
is he really not interested anymore?
Updates:
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Anyone?
+1 y
He actually messaged me after sex asking me if i was okey. And he also said that we should meet again and that he thinks im alright. But I think i kinda ruined it with my insecurity. He DID back off (very unusual of him) and then i got insecure and asked myself if smth was wrong with me. I politely told him that he can tell me honestly, I would accept it. Bit he said everythings fine and Im overthinking and we only met once. I left him alone since a few days. He hasn't reached out since my bDa
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Its interesting how when were talking about a guy its instantly thar he was just using you but when its a gal its instantly that she just wasny satisfied. Ofc he couldve just been using you, but sounds like a lot of work to get someone inexperienced, unless thats he's thing. Maybe you werent what he thought youd be, it happens a lot, but for some reason when its a guy people immediately conclude it was he's evil plan all along. Maybe tou werent what he thought and he was just trying to be nice. Whats he gonna do tell you you're ugly? Im not saying you are, im saying unless he's an asshole he's not gonna tell someone he already is avoiding/trying to tell he's not interested negative things. Thats a good way of making someone afraid of trying with someone else. And when you think about it this way you conclude it was he's loss, which makes you continue thinking you're a catch/worth while, which you need to be confident enough for your next interest. Its kinda like tough love. That is... If he wasn't just using you all along ofc.

    • agreed. I really hate this double standard. It also does suck that people do just lose interest in any given moment (because they found they don't like something about you or something.. or behavior) and they don't tell you about it it resorts to you confronting them

  • There's this study thing that after a guy orgasms in you during sex, all his interest and energy is no longer there are for you and eventually becomes empty.
    This kinda thing could prove he was not into you emotionally but cared about the physical part only (hook up) mainly. Explains why he didn't interact with you again right away but took a gap break. Don't waste your time on this nigga after what happen. He was most likely just using you or he's having second thoughts about the relationship or whatever. Be careful who you let inside you and use your energy on to connect.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's obvious hun, you got the wrong signals. And I can only say, you should know better.

    So you had sex, he treated you nicely and said you look cute together, but did he tell you he wanted more than that? Because the way I see it, you consented to have sex with him without establishing the kind of relationship that you wanted in the first place. He might have thought you knew it's a one time deal with no strings attached because hey, you're not a couple yet, right?
    Not because he's interested to you and you two had sex, bam!! you're a couple now and you think deserve explanations for the way he's acting towards you the next day. (sorry but sometimes someone has to point what went wrong)

    Some guys can be a d**k! Lay'em leave'em that's what they do. So next time, make sure to let the guy know what you wanted and never ever get to bed on the first meeting/date. Not until you are certain of the guy's intention.

    • Thanks for the mho! ❤

    • And I'm just glad to help.. Hope all is well with you now.. ❤

  • He was genuinely interested in you but from the looks of your post = you did come off a bit clingy. Men don’t like clingy women! You kept texting him and chasing him = he was probably annoyed and distanced himself. Men like to chase women... not the other way around. It seems like you were doing all the chasing and that probably put him off. Keep your distance for now and don’t contact him. Go out and date others. Don’t wait for this one guy...”there’s many fishes in the sea”.
    He did care enough to wish you a happy birthday but you still need to keep your distance from him. Don’t make him think that you’re waiting around for him = HELL NO!!
    Good luck though!! Hope everything works out for you or you meet someone that’s way better!!

  • He just wanted sex. There is a possibility he wanted more but after sex it's very normal for guys to get distant. Girls have a clear and rational mind before sex, guys do after. This is the perfect example of this. After sex there was nothing more for him to look forward to, he just saw you as an insecure girl and you got all clingy and texting obsessively that just scared him right away. Don't give away sex unless you are ok with it being a casual thing. If not and you want something serious, make sure the guy is truly into before getting into bed with him.

    • I never thought of that... so women know if they want you before sex and guys after sex? I can't remember how I felt about my relationships afterwards just I really wanted them to be with me

    • @KingSyer well then they either did not have sex with you straight away or I guess you are one of those guys that if he dates a girl it's not just for sex, but potential girlfriend. But usually sex is the main goal for a guy and if he gets it before there is an emotional connection he will lose interest after. So girls need to be careful and if they don't want to get hurt, don't give themselves away before they know they guys intentions are good.

    • omg that is so sad... why are adults still childish our goal should be to find our soulmate or the best person for us not waste time lying about what we want... life is short and happiness is hard to find all the hurt and pain that comes with it is so sad one should say when talking I just want sex or I want to be your supporter in life to push you to becoming the best you you could be... reading this question hurt because I been where she has being used for sex and I'm a guy but I'm emotional

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 35

  • If he really cared, he would make time to send the shortest of texts. He may have even continued to message you in future if you stepped back as well and hadn’t contacted him. That may have even created some interest for him, enough to reach out to you again and find out where you’ve been and what you’ve been up to. If you sent him heaps of texts I think that may have shut the door. Not saying it’s right but that tends to be how it goes in my experience.

  • Sounds like his a feeling tool that used you and does not respect you enough to even tell you that he just wanted sex. I hate boys like this.. there not men there boys that have let to mature in to a man. A man tells you upfront what his intentions are and if your interested you 2 go forward. It'simply means he could be married and is now felling remorseful for what he did... If you need a friend just message me.. I'm always on during this hour if you need emotional support we can use an app and I'll talk you though it. I enjoy helping people when others are at fault and don't have the balls to tell the other partner what's up

  • I'm afraid it sounds like he's no longer interested in you. My advice is to forget him & look for someone new. Try finding someone a little older & more mature-someone who isn't solely intent on bedding you for their own enjoyment. You sound quite young, having only had 3 previous sexual experiences. You need someone who is going to ensure you enjoy being with him and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better about yourself, not to mention enjoy having sex with him!

  • Yeah it sounds like he’s lost interest

  • Sorry to say you are the victim of the 4 f's, find them - fool them - fuck them - forget them.

    All he was interested in was getting in your panty's, he did what he had too to get you the have sex. He had sex with you, and now he is moving on to the next conquest.

    • Hopefully his dick falls off

  • it's not normal in a relationship,
    but it's normal for hookup

  • He used you and played you , Block him and move on , he is probably having sex with another girl or Girls also, if someone really likes you they would. be hesitating to Call and talk to you , this guy is a piece of shit Player, you fell in the trap Now escape and never go back

  • He is clearly not interested to maintain contact with you. If he is busy, he will make time for you.

  • No it is not normal. That is a societal myth.

  • I'd guess he wanted an occasional relationship with you, possibly just sex.

  • Block him everywhere and move on it won’t be easy but worthied

    • He ignored me but on my bday he wished me a happy bday. I thanked and since then he hasn't reached out to me. He doesn't even watch my insta stories anymore...

    • Nope, it let's him believe he got under your skin. Indifference is the coldest, best revenge.

    • I was in the same situation before. at the time I believe he loved me and will come back at some point only to realize he never loved me it was only me blinded by love. Now i have cut all contect with him and I am back to my normal self You can do it girl love your self more

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  • If that's all he wanted you for.

  • It sounds like he was just after sex, it sucks because a lot of guys do a good job of hiding their motives.

  • Yep.

    Called getting played

    • Yes, he wrote me. He said he doesn't want me. He said we only saw each other once and I already made him lots of stress (which is not true). What if we meet 3,4,5x, id make him even more stress. Thats what he said... I told him to block me and he did.

    • You gave it up didn’t you?

    • What you mean?

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  • It’s more normal that he falls asleep afterwards.

  • If they don't care it is

  • If he becomes distant then that was the only thing he was looking for. Sadly many guys are like this. They will even lie to you how they love you just to get in your pants. Its sad but it’s true. Let him go really. you'll find better in no time. You’ve done nothing wrong

  • Yeah, you're a knotch on on his bedpost. I know a guy that has slept with over 50 women. Good looking guy, and he uses his looks to his advantage. They always fall for it, it's like a game to him.

    • Disgusting

    • I agree. And as long as women let him get away with it, he will.

    • What am i supposed to do? Kill him? I wish i could punch his face, Id love to, but unfortunately i stayed way too calm and said he should block me to get this all over with.

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  • He has poor communication skills and a lack of empathy. I would just move on if I were you. You don't want to be with somebody like that anyway.

    • I messaged him again. I bonbarded him till he teplied cause i wanted clearance and to move on. He told me he's not interested in me. He said that i was so clingy after we met once, imagine how clingy id get after meeting him mlre and more! Thats what he said lol. I think its just an excuse, he simply didn't like me. I also told him to block me, several times, and he finally did... What a prick, i actually hate him.

    • Yeah, calling someone "clingy" or any other kind of name is often just an excuse. The guy is an immature asshole who can't handle real affection and a genuine connection. You're definitely better off without him.

  • I think he’s given you every indication that he’s not interested.

    • Yes, finally today he responded. He doesn't want me cause apparently i acted too clingy and we only met once... i told him to block me and he did.

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