I fantasize about being beaten. What's wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

For the longest time I've had fantasies about being beaten up by my boyfriend or husband for making him angry and sometimes even violently raped. It's so bad that these fantasies are debilitating to where I could waste an entire day fantasizing about it in bed missing very productive time. I've gone so far as to date men with tempers or who I think would have the potential to hit me, angrily force sex on me, or at the very least yell at me and shake me up or something. These fantasies are taking over my life and I don't know what to do. I know I don't really want these things because the times I was actually abused or assaulted it was crushing and the worst feeling in the world. It's like someone who's addicted to cutting... It's painful but they're getting something out of it and can't stop. I can have normal relationships for years but the whole time inside I'm bored and super depressed that I'm not being beaten or hurt. Please help me! Wtf is wrong with me and how do I stop being like this?

[pasi02]

You do have a bdsm fetish, but I wouldn't date guys that just want to beat the shit out of you. I'd settle for some people in the same community, since they know when enough is enough, and this was everything stays consensual so you don't get actually hurt

[hbg84]

The seems to be a lot of women your age that want to be raped. Please get help. I pray you never actually get raped. You won't like it if you do get raped for real

[Киттйлинк]

You watched Netflix XXX the first episode “the Box” ?

[Asker]

No I didn't then know there was an XXX Netflix

[Киттйлинк]

Oh I’m sorry it’s not xxx It’s XX and the first episode called “The Box” maybe you are the mother lol 🙂

[Asker]

Do you have a link?

[Киттйлинк]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZApIfNgJo&app=desktop
📦 nothing 🥩! 💀😈!!

[Asker]

wow whole movie. thanks!

[blutwolfe]

Have you tried BDSM?

[Asker]

No what's that?

[blutwolfe]

Bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. I would research it, there's vanilla and extreme forms of it. I like it when girls like to be tied up and spanked lol

[Twalli]

I wouldn't say spanking us part of it. My girlfriend and I are pretty vanilla and I spank her.

[Asker]

@Twalli do you spank her for discipline or for sex?

[Asker]

@blutwolfe interesting thank you

[blutwolfe]

@Twalli yeah I'm on the vanilla side of it lol, haven't delved too deep, I feel like its kinda fuzzy when it comes to spanking and choking

[Twalli]

@Asker I do it for sex. Sometimes I say I am punishing her for trivial things. She likes to say she's a naughty girl that needs to be punished

[Asker]

Oh. I'd want it to be for discipline not sex

[Twalli]

So you want to be spanked without sex following it? Knowing guys that won't probably happen with a boyfriend unless you get him off another way.

[thinkaloudtolive]

#1 stop watching porn. Completely.

#2 schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist. They’re trained for resolving issues like these.

[Asker]

What does porn have to do with it? Also, I only watch vanilla porn

[thinkaloudtolive]

It fucks up your brain. Research it

[Asker]

Do you mind sharing any good links?

[thinkaloudtolive]

fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-changes-the-brain/

[Asker]

Thanks

[genericname85]

Go try it out then. I suggest having a save word.

[Asker]

What do you mean by save word?

[Twalli]

A word like pineapple that makes no sense in the situation so the guy knows to stop if it gets too far for you to be comfortable.

[Asker]

Ohh. I'm so messed up I'd just want him to ignore it and do it anyway

[Twalli]

If he likes the same things you do, he may go too far. The safe word is so you can say no ir stop or try to prevent him from taking you by force, but you can still stop it when necessary. He will ignore you saying no or stop, but not thr safe word. Since it's not something you say during any type of sex, he knows that he needs to lay off a bit or all the way.

[Asker]

Oh ok

[genericname85]

Don't deny what you like sexually. Tell him about what you like. You are allowed to like it. It's fine.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[Prime_Sol]

It's normal. I have yet to run into a girl that doesn't like this. I was with a girl for 6 months who loved this sort of thing.
I still have snap messages where she's tell me she needed to be raped.

[Twalli]

Tell a guy you like beating and rough sex. Come up with a safe word so if it goes too far you can stop it. BDSM is a good thing to consider because there's a lot of information and rules you can use to start until you find your comfortable range.

[Asker]

What's BDSM?

[Twalli]

Bondage Discipline Sadomasochism (or Sadism & Masochism). It's pretty much the definition of beating and other rough and violent ways to have sex.

[Asker]

Hmmm ok. I'll look it up

[GreenGold1992]

get help

[red_knight]

Keep running into walls and throw yourself down a lot of stairs and ask strangers to slap you... That would be your equivalent of masturbation, right?

[TheRealQuestion2]

It sounds like you have a serious kink/fetish for rough sex.

[Anonymous]

You like being dominated

[Asker]

Yes I do. One of the main reasons I'm with my boyfriend now is because he's so dominant and controlling. But that's not even good enough. That's why I think I have something wrong with me

[Asker]

I don't understand why I like that though. That's what I really want to know I guess

[Opinion Owner]

How tall are you

[Asker]

5'5"

[Anonymous]

I have a similar fantasy. I feel your pain. You are not that abnormal I assure you.

[Asker]

What do you do about it? And what's your fantasy if you don't mind me asking?

[Opinion Owner]

I keep it at bay the best I can. Sometimes act it out with a partner but it’s very dangerous...

[Opinion Owner]

It is having a girl cut my penis off. I’m obsessed with it.

[Asker]

Damn. We're fucked up dude. I have fantasies sometimes of being so badly beaten I'm on life support. Or of being raped in the ass until I'm bleeding and pass out. And my fantasies get more violent with time. The latest involved being kidnapped, beaten and tortured for days by a group of men at my boyfriend's command and then being violently raped by one of the men or by my boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I know! But I’ve spent enough time online to know that your and my fantasies are shared by a good deal of other people. Definitely not mainstream but we are not anomalies. The danger is in acting it out. I almost lost it with one girl but she decided to hold back. I couldn’t have controlled myself and was unable to stop the desire.

[Asker]

Wow I'm glad she held back

[Twalli]

Being hospitalized or bleeding is too dangerous, you can find people who will agree with the other things. You'll have to go deep into the BDSM world, but if you want extreme, you can find it.

[Asker]

I'm scared to tell anyone I date about these fantasies. Because I'd be hurt if they actually acted them out. But at the same time I crave that hurt. Guess I'll just be like this for life then

[Opinion Owner]

I crave it too. But if it happened, at least I’d be through with the fantasy. That girl hurt it pretty bad and i liked it. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. But I don’t know why some of us are like this.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with @Twalli but it’s such a powerful drive that I feel I will find the right person and go all the way someday. They do exist and i might regret finding them.