Why can’t my boyfriend cum from a bj? Long question?

Question

*he can cum if he jerks himself off. And we’ve talked about it he’s said no girl ever been able to make him cum from BJ buuuut I don't know if Thats true or that I believe that. I’ve told him I think his D*** don’t like my mouth. We’ve decided when we have sex I will give him a bj when he’s hard I’ll have to jump on him. Also I’ve asked him to show me how he jerks off and tell me what he likes and he has.*

so I actually enjoy giving oral. I’m a virgin and of course me and my boyfriend want to have sex but most of the time I give him a bj and he will finger me/My ass. First time I gave him a bj it was my first time giving him a bj and he loved it (We met in March so this was April) the same night I gave him a bj again (We were sleeping over a friends house and we got carried away) I ended up giving him another bj. Problem is ten minutes earlier we had eaten food and ended up puking on his D***. So I was mortified. He likes to joke about it now but everything I give him a bj I think about it and he (Like every man) likes to shove my head down his D*** and fast! So when I can feel myself “Gagging “ I stop. Problem is I have no problem getting him hard in my mouth. Problem is keeping him hard in my mouth + he can't cum. I’ve gotten him close to where I thought he would cum and then he gets soft in my mouth and then I try to get him hard again and my mouth now hurts because I have to suck him off again for ten minutes. So a lot of times I get annoyed and stop.

he also says I use too much teeth. Which I think it’s a lie. but I do think I use too much teeth when he shoves his D*** down my throat and I can feel myself start to gag so I pull out.

I NEED tips!!!
a.) how to have a better gag reflex
b.) why can’t he cum?
c.) using less teeth

Dargil · Accepted Answer

No trollage here. Pay attention.

Most girls do not know how to give an effective blowjob. You have to resort to trial and error because guys don't verbalize what they want. Over time, I have received quite a few and watched AV that ended in visible evidence of ejaculation. What struck me is how uniform they were. So I took the time to summarize the successful routine.

*What happens in the foreplay stage varies from guy to guy; teasing, play, etc. I favor a nipples to knees erotic massage. The goal is to get him hard and flowing precum, but not near to orgasm, so his "tank" has time to fill. But there are some guidelines for the main event that I think are absolute.

*A blow job is not romantic, interactive sex, it is one-way sexual therapy. You make it all about him. The best blow job is a combination of hand and oral. The head wants bobbing and sucking, slick, soft and smooth and the shaft wants vigorous hand stroking.

*Once you start, never slow down, pause or stop. Build steady arousal to the finish. When he starts to buck and breathing deeply, go aggressive. Increase sucking and bobbing to as strongly as you can sustain for several minutes. Break away hand stroking and go as fast as you can with a moderate grip.

*He wants to cum in your mouth. Be prepared for it and don't skip a beat. When he starts to ejaculate, stop bobbing, suck only, but keep stroking, a little more slowly, to the last squirt. Stay "locked on" (sucking without motion) until he unplugs. It feels good to drain out and shrink away under vacuum.

*Be careful not to scratch or bite. It can put the fire out. Deep throating is a useless porn antic. Your mouth and tongue will give a better sensation that your throat. Swallowing gives no direct pleasure but it can be ego-building.

*There is nothing that will make a man feel more loved than a skilled blow job where he can be indulged without feeling self conscious.

A gag reflex can ruin a BJ or discourage you from giving one. Try this out.

TMI ahead. Form your lips into a puckered kiss.

Why can’t my boyfriend cum from a bj? Long question?

Take JUST THE HEAD of his penis into the "pucker". if you can part your teeth comfortably just enough to slide your tongue through, extend it beneath the head of his penis.
Then "num num" on the head of his penis like a baby with a pacifier while you vigorously stroke his shaft with your hand. You should experience a satisfying outcome

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

I have never cum from a BJ either. It's a question of rhythm.

Anyway...
====================
A big reason that the male orgasm happens (best) from head is when there is a very steady rhythm stimulating the tip. "Deep throating" is not such a big deal because all that does is simulate the experience of being in the warm wet snug vagina. During intercourse, it is the tip being touched and stimulated that causes excitement and orgasm.

Keep in mind, all the best BJs are also a bit of a hand job as well so don't be afraid to give your mouth a break.

And don't forget the balls! They get lonely and are STARVING for female attention. So, sometimes use your fingers or hand such as cupping or teasing testicles or the penis.

Google "Fellucia Blow" and STUDY those videos. Those women are experts at fellatio and genuinely love it. The sensuous BJ really is best both for the guy and for the woman. Watch and notice how easily they do it yet aren't choking or getting sick. And watch how they switch between mouth and fingers.

Also, look into videos for:

A) lingam massage (tantric massage for the male genitalia)
B) yoni massage (tantric massage for the female genitalia - he should return the favor).

That said, consider studying good hand-job videos. All you then have to do is imagine doing what the woman is doing with her hands and fingers, but instead replace with lips, tongue, and mouth.
I'd upload a video, but it is not safe for G@G. PM if you want the links to two such videos.

MrOracle · Answer

I was in my early 30s before I met a girl who could make me cum with a BJ - and while it's gotten easier, it's still not easy for me. Don't get me wrong, it feels great, but orgasms are difficult for me to achieve without penetration. The girl who finally did it was a very enthusiastic oral giver and she knew that it was going to be a marathon for her, but she was determined to "get her reward" and was willing to do what it took.

WalterRadio · Answer

It isn't him. It is you.

There are some women I've known where I have to make them stop in 30 seconds or we would be done. There are others where they could be there all day.

If you want tips, go talk to a Malaysian Chinese woman named Monica. The last time I saw her, she was in Singapore. Do what she does.

slatyb · Answer

Lots of guys can't come from passively receiving stimulation. You often see this in porn -- a guy is getting head but he has to use his hand to finish. Don't worry about it.

Shoving your head down? How do you feel about that?

reptocarl · Answer

Not all guys can. It’s very hard for me to cum that way

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Maybe he doesn't want to. Maybe he's like me and just doesn't care about or get off on blow jobs at all.

bubbakong2006 · Answer

Try a few other guys to see if it’s just him that takes so long or if it’s something you are doing wrong he doesn’t have to know but that will tell you

d1sord3Rx · Answer

Awwww! You are a sweet heart! GOD We need more girls like you! Your boyfriend is a lucky man! Anyway didn't be discouraged... A guy not being able to cum from oral sex is not uncommon at all... You either do or you don't.. I have had friends who can't and this'd girls went through exactly the frustration you are..! Only difference was they were also having intercourse.. Also for a guy to cum its not just the physical act of rubbing his cock... I read somewhere that there is a mental aspect to it as also... Sorry I can't explain further... So if for some reason he thinks he won't cum from a blow job from the start he prob won't... Also teeth are the quickest way... Well second quickest way to ruin a hard dick... You said he fingers your bum? Are you not a virgin if you let him do you anal? You could try that... Or maybe masturbate in front of each other.! That can be hella hoTt LOL?

leonidas69 · Answer

I've only came from 2 BJ's in my life. One of them was literally a Pro.

malealpha00 · Answer

don't pull out when you gag, you need to let him throat f**k you - i always tell chicks to relax their throat and stick out their tongue - yes you will choke but it's no big deal

HeyMikie · Answer

A BJ, no matter how hot, is not as intense a form of stimulation as a hand job, masturbation, or sex. It is not uncommon for a guy to take a long time to cum from a BJ or not at all. The only way that I have ever been able to cum from a BJ is if the woman swirls her toungue around the tip of my dick. It still takes a while but it feels awesome.

COMMODOREII · Answer

What is the deal about guys shoving dicks down women's throats. I always relax and let her take me on an exciting wonderland. It's her time to pleasure me not me take over and try to suffocate the poor girl. I don't get it. If she deep throats it that's fine but is on her. Stop trying to kill the girl.

Shamalien · Answer

If he actually liked you it would take way less than that you guys have no connection, rubbing parts together can fool you for a while maybe but if you ain't got it you ain't got it.

Twalli · Answer

Watch (more) porn. My girlfriend got really good at blowjobs by doing that. Don't worry, most guys can't vum from a blowjob unless it is among the best ever. Your blowjob is unlikely to be like that. My girlfriend and I use blowjobs as part of foreplay. When you have sex, just use it as foreplay. It gets him hard and I doubt he'd get soft in either your ass or pussy as long as there is movement