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I was raped and got pregnant?

I was raped at 15 and had a baby boy. I gave him for adoption. I hated him because it reminded me of the man who abused me ( he is in jail). Now im 24 and I am married. My husband has a kid whom I raise as his mother. He calls me mom. The thing is the baby boy never got adopted and somehow he found out about me. He called me and cried. he wants to know me and asked why i love the other kid and i abandoned him. I told him i hate him for merely existing. I was angry. I regret it now. But how to deal with it? I dont want that boy in my life and yet he wants me by his side. He doesn't know i was raped.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Your story is the reason why I believe outlawing abortions should be a crime, pregnancy from rape especially at that age is something that should never have to something you have to live with, these stories make me so sad and frustrated, honestly, rape is a crime that in my opinion should be punishable by capital punishment, im so sorry for you and I can only imagine how hard it has to be to live with everything that happened. As for your situation, your true feelings came out a little to real and he took it that way, but the best thing you can do is talk to him about it and make it clear that he knows he was not supposed to come into the world the way he did, it’s no easy topic for sure, and that’s why I believe rape and sex crimes are worthy of capital punishment because of the lifelong effects they have, I don’t want to go any farther into this because it’s obvious what I could say, but I’ve had more than a few of my close female friends in very similar situations to this so I understand it. The boy may not understand it at his current age, but he will in a few years, it doesn’t take away the pain because it lasts a lifetime and continues on in other ways, but that’s just another reason for such crimes to be punishable by the death penalty

    • Rape is not a moral justification for murdering the unborn child, which is a Free Moral Agent and has a "Right to Life..."

    • Lol, you are not changing my mind so don’t try, unless you want to waste your time

  • You really, really need to find a good therapist and work through this. It seems to me that you're holding your grudge against your son for the sins of the father is not something you're comfortable with, witness your question.

    Get some help sorting this out.

Most Helpful Girls

  • im sorry to say that, but what you did was extremely bad. Your son is not responsible for anything, i understand it's hard for you because you were raped and i feel very sorry for that. but maybe you could find something good in this situation, that you have a son who wants to be with you. I lost my mom when i was 7, and i can't explain how bad the feeling is when i remind myself that i cannot be with her anymore

    • I know im a horrible person but i can't move on. That man ruined my life. The boy wants me as his mother. He told me to come to visit him at the orphanage cuz he will give me flowers but i told him to leave me alone.

    • this whole story sounds little bit fake to me, im sorry

  • I would put yourself in his shoes, I know the whole situation is super unfortunate and incredibly wrong but he is just a kid. He does not know any better. Imagine being hated for something that you could not control or do anything about. A child should not be hated for "existing" no matter how they got here.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 9

  • I think you know this already, but you need to examine your own moral condition.

    you are projecting the guilt of the man, the rapist, onto the innocent child who is not to blame for this crime.

    You are injuring yourself and the innocent child, and no good will come of this.

  • He doesn't know why you hate him. It's not his fault you were raped...

  • the first thing you must do is to go there and take your child and i know your husband will loves him like his own son., it's not his fault for coming to life in this way,

  • The baby didn't rape you. I realize that it is more than difficult to deal with that feeling but perhaps you seek some help on it. But I can tell you it's not right to blame that child for something that was not his fault. You could make something beautiful out of a terrible thing!

  • because he wonders why you abandoned him, he has no idea who or what his father did, he just wants to be loved it have a sense of belonging. He's gonna end up with severe issues down the road because of his childhood. I can predict 100% he's gonna do drugs later in life, even if it's just weed or alcohol.

    That's completely fucked up to tell a kid he should of never been born or he's a mistake, my mother did that to me. He literally has no one there for him, not a single soul, he's trying to turn to the one person who should unconditionally love him, his mother, but gets shut down, then we wonder why men grow up with all kinds of issues.

    If he makes it to high school before you give a shit, it's game over, he's lost for life.

  • That abandoned kid is going to become a hardened criminal. Don't be surprised if you face a home invasion in the future.

    • Why u so sure

    • Cause you messed him up. That or he might end up hating women forever.

  • give him a chance. imagine being in his shoes not having anyone to call family he finds out he has a mother and she wants nothing to do with him. the psychological effect itll have on the kid. if he is old enough then have a conversation with him about exactly what happened but the boy isn't at fault. Dont let the actions of a piece of shit guy affect the life of a child.

    • He is 9. I doubt ke knows what rape is. He told me had like 2 foster families but only for lile 6 months each and it was bad. They treat him bad and beaten him. During Christmas they went to visit relatives and left him at home cuz he is gypsy and might steal something. I can't love him. He disgusts me. It wad horrible what happened to me. His father beat me to a pulp and raped me because i refused to give him my part of money i earned as a street hooker. Yes i done that shit for a couple of months

    • call the adoption agency let them know your circumstances and tell them not to have him call you. tell them your story and have them tell him when his ready. he deserves to know why neither parent can or wants to take part of his life. thats the best I've got to say

    • there is always a way to explain something serious to a younger child

  • Your kid is of 9 years. You have to first tell everything to your husband.
    It is true that the kid will remind u of the rapist, but its not his fault that he was born. He is a victim just like u.
    Its sad u had to go through all these.

  • Lmfao. Damn, this was some cruel shit. Fuck that kid.
    Even though, I don't believe a 9 yearold would be capable of this. The story is so much more funny if it's actually true.

  • Tell him you were raped.

  • Sorry to hear no one deserves that hope you work it out

  • Should’ve aborted him.

  • Even if the baby was by someone who raped you doesn’t give you to right to hate your child because of that he didn’t do anything to deserve pure hate from his mother. This is you’re kid and you should love him no matter happened don’t let that man who raped you control decision to hate your child

  • You owe it to him to tell him he's a product of rape, and that republicans dont like abortion, or birth control, so they're left fighting with themselves, over how to have a baby

    republicans don't know SHIT!

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