Sexual Relationships
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Is there such a thing as a naughty joke that is funny too?

Here are mine, share yours if they're funny... PLEASE!

1) Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toy pen?
A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling..."OMG! Yes! More lies please, more lies!!"

2) The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down the street, all the other girls wanted to hear the juicy details..."Well, he was a big, muscular, handsome Marine."

"Ya, so what did he want you to do?" they all had to know. She said, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he did not have that much. So, I told him a blow job would be $75, but he did not have that much either.

Finally I said, 'Well how much do you have?' The Marine said he only had $25. So, I told him, 'For $25, all I can do is give you a hand job.' He agreed and after getting the finances straight, he pulled it out. I put one hand around it. Then, I put the other hand above that hand."

She paused, raised her eyebrows, and then continues, "Then I took the bottom hand and moved it above the second hand..."

"Oh my God!" they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge!!! Then what did you do?"

..."I loaned him the other $75!!"

3) A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"

To that the man asks, "Anything?"

And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"

With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."

She does. He then says, "Get on your knees."

She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."

She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."

With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello... Mom?"

4) A must watch... lolHAPPY Friday EVERYONE... I LOVE YOU!
3 6

Most Helpful Guys

  • An Asian guy goes into an exchange bank and gives the teller 1000 Yen and wants it changed into dollars so, the teller gives him $750.00. The Asian turns and leaves. A weeks later, he comes in with another 1000 Yen and gives it to the teller to be changed into dollars. This time, the teller only gives him $625.00. The Asian guy asks, "Why you onry give me $625 zis week when you gave me $750 rast week?" The teller responds, "Fluctuations." With that, the Asian guy gets REALLY pissed off, turns and stomps out of the bank!!! But, before he goes out the door, he stops for a second, turns around and yells, "FLUCK YOU AMELICANS, TOO!!

    One day, Johnny's parents went on a shopping trip to a mall about 20 miles away so, having the house to himself for an hour or so, he invited his girlfriend over to fool around. Once she got there, they decided to fuck. So, he takes her up to his bedroom and fucks her, but, as luck would have it, her period started and she bled like a stuck pig! There was huge puddle of blood on the floor! While trying to figure out what to do to clean it up, he heard his parents car pull up out front!! Thinking quick, he knelt down on the floor and sucked up some of the blood into his mouth and ran down to the basement to spit it out into the wash tub! Then he raced back upstairs to get more! Sucked up more and ran to the basement again to spit it out, by this time, his parents had the car empty and were coming up the front walk, but he still had one more load to get! He ran upstairs, sucked up the last of the blood, ran back downstairs and, JUST as he got near the front door, his parents walked in and his mother said, "What's that red stuff on your mouth?" Johnny swallowed it and said, "Tomato juice."

    Why do women have legs?
    Because, if they didn't, they'd leave snail trails everywhere they went.

    A newly married couple bought a brand new house one day and spent their first night in the place. The next morning, the hubby gets ready to go to work. Later in the afternoon, he comes home from work to find his new wife completely naked and repeatedly sliding down the bannister from the 2nd floor! He says to her, "What the hell are you doing?" She says, "Just warming up your dinner, dear!"

    These two fags are fucking in the shower when, all of a sudden, the phone rings and the one guy says, "I'll get it!! I'll get it!!", and he steps out of the shower and says, "I'll only be 5 minutes so, I want you to PROMISE me you WON'T cum until I get back!!" The other guy promises so the first guy prances of to get the phone. 5 minutes later, he comes back to the shower, pulls back the curtain and the ENTIRE STALL is GLISTENING with cum!!! Distraught and sad, he says, "You PROMISED me you weren't going to cum before I got back!!!" The other guy says, "I didn't cum, I farted."

  • LOL Those were great. Some of the funniest jokes are naughty.

    Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.

    What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

    What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Thanks for coming!

    Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
    Man: "Sure!"
    Reporter: "Name?"
    Man: "Jimmy Bob Jessup."
    Reporter: "Sex?"
    Man: "Five or ten times a week."
    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
    Man: "Male, female, it don't matter."
    Reporter: "Holy cow!"
    Man: "Well yeah, cows, sheep, goats, pigs... "
    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
    Man: "Hoss style, dog style, any style, I recon."
    Reporter: "Oh dear!"
    Man: "No, no deer. Them critters are too hard to catch."

    • All are good, but he last one had me in hysterics! ... lol

    • *The not he*

    • Glad I could give you a chuckle, Laurie. hee hee

Most Helpful Girl

  • When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?

    Answer: When he's standing next to your girlfriends and says your hair smells nice

    • Lmfao

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 11

  • It's fun to see a girl that appreciates jokes like this :) to take them not as seriously :)

  • Lmao Yes naughty jokes rule and the Blonde Joke with the message to the Mom was the best I laughed out loud

  • Lol ya those are funny

  • I love you woman. You made my day. 😂😂😂A Ferrari. Lol

    • I know, I loved that one! I hope everyone watched it

    • I would love to hang with you sometime. You seem like you know how to have fun. Lol

  • Hilarious thanks,,,

  • Yes, it's called dirty joke

  • A girl rushed into the living room, " dad, can I borrow the car? Going to meet friend's at the mall." Her Dad says, " you know the drill." She gets on her knee's and starts sucking dad's cock. Then, she spit it out saying, " ewe, dad your dick tastes like shit!!" Dad replies, " that remind me, your brother has the car!". 💩

  • Ha , love a good dirty joke

  • Yes.

    What‘s the difference between a rooster and a whore?

    A rooster says cock-a-doodle-do but a whore says any-cock'll-do.

  • Love em!!

  • Real story, after lunch with a woman co-worker.
    me: I would love a short nap after such a big lunch
    her: no temptation please!
    me: I meant alone...
    ...
    I just wanted to make a good word with that
    I got more...

  • My penis got awerd for curening hysteria
    Its not that big but detectes crazy

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