Fwb: a good idea or not? What do I do?

[R_ūshī]

I was chatting with a guy I've known for 2 years and we were flirting subtly. He proposed that we become fuck buddies out of the blue. And now I don't know how to handle it.

We started talking 2 years ago because his number was saved on my old sim. I still don't know how it got there but he was a nice guy so we kept talking. We never met but we've run into each other while hanging out with other people. He's friends with a lot of my high school friends and he likes the night life.

I am in no way attracted to him. Even flirting with him was kinda awkward for me (and I am a very flirty person) because I just can't see him in that light. I also don't trust him because of his lifestyle and previous relationships. One of my major concerns is that he knows my ex and I don't want him (my ex) finding out that I'm friends with benefits with that guy.

The only reasons why I wanna say yes is because I haven't had sex in MONTHS, I like adventure and I've always been the friend with flings (they have never been sexual... not yet)

I've been contemplating having a fuck buddy but I'm not sure about it. Like I'm more than fine on my own, I can't get myself to trust people in that way in a short lapse of time and I don't know if I have enough time for it. In short, I'm not sure if I'm interested YET.

I don't know what to do. Should I say yes or just decline it? And if I say no, how do I make things not awkward between us? I don't want to bump into him again and have that awkward moment when we have to pretend that everything's normal.

[loveslongnails]

Geeeeezus !! NO ! NO ! NO !
There are SO many things wrong about this I don't know where to start. Here's 6 reasons.
1) There's nothing AWKWARD about saying "no, I don't want to be fuck buddies". And you do NOT have to explain why not either if he asks "why not?". Because you don't want to, that's why not. Period. If you tell him no and he acts like a dick to you after that, you don't need him in your life as a "friend".
2) You're not even attracted to him !!! Ick !!
3) and this is crazy shit - you're actually "worried" your EX will find out? You "care" what your EX thinks about what you do sexually? Consider that you shouldn't be sleeping with ANYONE if you care THAT MUCH about what someone you're NOT sleeping with thinks about WHO you sleep with!
4) How would anyone else find out if you're being discreet? The guy would be telling your ex, that's how, which means he has a big mouth and can't be trusted.
5) You have questions about his "lifestyle", which I think means he fucks around a lot and you're worried if he's safe or diseased? You'd be dumb not to ask him to be tested, and even then he'd have to go at least 6 weeks without fucking anyone else for you to be certain.
6) And last, but certainly not least --------------- You're a GIRL !! Girls can get sex from guys anytime. If you're THAT horned up, go find a guy you are attracted to, like and who isn't a fuck around. Even then, it's risky if you can trust someone you just meet. But rationalizing by saying "I haven't had sex in 6 months?" Puleeeeze. You could have sex tonight if you really wanted to.

[cavmanier]

I don't see why you'd want to have a sexual relationship with a guy you aren't attracted to. Next you're gonna go to a restaurant where their food tastes like garbage and then you'll go to sleep at a loud rock concert so you wake up every five seconds.

[R_ūshī]

Lmao you're absolutely right. I wasn't thinking straight... that's why I needed help Thanks ^^

[cavmanier]

You're welcome lol. Also, if you do a friends with benefits with someone, be careful. Girls are especially likely to get feelings for the other person. Friends with benefit relationships might should good on paper, but they are not natural. We aren't designed to have sex when just friends. We have the whole love paradigm built into our brains. More happens than just physical pleasure. Now a days, people are not only eating their artificial high fructose corn syrup that the body doesn't absorb well while living in environments flooded with artificial pollutants; we are now having artificial relationships on purpose.

[wingattebaby16]

I had 2 friends with benefits when I was dating a guy... he was not meeting my needs and he told me as long as I came home clean (no STDs) and not smelling of sex, he was fine with it.

Girls have sexual needs that one guy often cannot meet.

The only thing is the "emotional" tie... one of my friends with benefits developed feelings for me and ruined our relationship.

[Paris13]

friends with benefits... I do NOT always Agree with it, Someone more Often, Falls For the other Friend with No Benefit. xx

[Boromir]

We cannot help you pick the right decision, what I can however tell you is that people have in general more regret about the things they didn’t dare to do then the things they did ;-)

I don’t know where you live and with what sort of cultural restrictions you have to deal, but don’t hesitate too much to enjoy life while you’re still young.

Stay safe.

[jxoesneon]

If what you need is sex, most guys will gladly say yes, I think you are better of look for someone with a better life style with less potential STDs.

Just be clear and let him know that you don't like him that way

[Red_Arrow]

Sounds like there is plenty of reason to not choose him to fill that role for you. and you do not have to "pretend" that everything is normal if your choice is no. That is up to you and all will still be normal.

[ushagomez]

Bad idea. You don’t like him. You are just feeling frisky. Better to find a a guy you like to help with that.

[ohshee]

Wish ur question wasn't so old. So what happen for me I think I would have gone for it

[R_ūshī]

Uh uh Wrong move Later found out that he was dating someone at that time. I don't know why he was lying about it. In any case, he didn't have good intentions.🤷‍♀️

[abc3643]

NO.

If you do get into a F_W_B experience, be prepared for another later G@G question in which I will answer with this:

=========

Congratulations!
Your question is today's Question of the Day illustrating that Friends With Benefits is an illusion because eventually one of them will get emotionally involved as if in a couple.

It's not a question of "if" it's going to happen, but "when".

If it is any consolation, in December 1988 just before I turned 26, I was involved in this intense 2.5 week F W B situation with my roommate. I was very emotionally involved, but, for her, I was just a convenient lay between more "serious BF"s.

So, was I a stupid fool? Yes and no. I knew better, but I wanted what I got into and paid the price. I learned through The School of Hard Knocks just like you are...

[DorkVader]

In this case, I say no. If you're not remotely attracted, there's no point in putting yourself under pressure to fuck some barely tolerable guy. Also why are you even talking to him if you can't flirt and don't feel comfortable?

[WhiteShoulder]

Decline. I get that you’re horny, but find a guy you’re more attracted to.

[DomDomAtomBomb]

Just DON'T Do It ✅ Seriously, if you want to avoid any negativity whatsoever block and erase his number. I promise you if you go through with it there is only one way it will turn out; Bad Bad Bad. I'm a guy. I know. Sorry for my sex but it is what it is. You can find a nice stranger to hook up with you elsewhere I'm sure.

[shimmeryns]

In my opinion, friends with benefits is never a good idea.

[Agape93]

It can be a good idea as long as you remain detached from romance.

[madgoat]

Sounds like you have already decided it's a no for him. You just like the general idea.
He doesn't sound like he's discreet enough, and you don't trust him.
I'd tell him straight - thanks but I like you as a friend and online consort. And don't let it be a thing.

[blutwolfe]

if you don't like him at all, don't do it lmao, you'll just regret it

[alexia18]

in your case no

[Corerue]

Don't rush into anything if there is a modicum of uncertainty.

Because if friends with benefits doesn't have a solid base with clear guidelines. Then it'll be a mess later. But you are 18, live and learn I guess.

[ZeussLightningBolt]

LOL. It doesn't work that way. You don't simply ask someone, "Can we be "fuck buddies"? It's kind of just supposed to happened on it's own.
I totally get that you're craving sex, but I personally wouldn't do it with this particular guy. He sounds like bad news. If you're gonna do friends with benefits, do it with a guy trust and at least feel an emotional connection with.

[R_ūshī]

Exactly. Like I have that kind of relationship with another guy and maybe that's why I can't picture this guy as someone with whom I can sleep.

[ZeussLightningBolt]

What kind of relationship? FWB? Or you just feel a strong connection with him?

[R_ūshī]

Not friends with benefits. We're just have a chemistry, we're extremely comfortable with each other and we care about each other. We've even been shipped before lol

[ZeussLightningBolt]

"We've even been shipped before" I don't know what that means But I think it would be much better if you did it with this guy.

[honorboundHeart884]

Zuesslightningbolt, shipped means, when people agree they would make a good couple.

[ZeussLightningBolt]

UPDATE: Good. Glad we could help :)

[UnidentifiedHuman]

If you wanna fuckbuddy why not get one with someone your attracted to instead of him (1 your not)? Lol

[Lightning8]

If it isn't about honest love, the sex is literally just another drug. Say no to drugs. Fr tho it's up to you, whether pointless sex with the risk of std's, sti's, and/or complicated strong emotions that aren't even yours is what you want.

[Tyffen]

Don't

[skittles2017]

Not a great idea because most of the times one of you will fall in love with the other and it will lead to a broken heart since it was just supposed to be sex only no feelings involved