My brothers gay and I feel uncomfortable with him bringing his partner home?

Question

My brother has recently come out as gay although we've suspected for a long time. Our family has accepted it but I'm not so sure. I try and be cool with it but I'm uncomfortable if I'm honest. Anyway he's started seeing this guy whos 5 years older and he's bringing him to stay the night. My bedroom is next to his and I can hear the slightest sound. Obviously they'll be having sex and It's obvious my brother is the girl one in the relationship.
What can I do to take my mind off it once the sex sounds start?

Rainbow_Boy · Accepted Answer

Would this be more acceptable if your brother was you sister and slept with her man next to your room? I am asking this to understand whether what bothers you more is your brother having gay sex next to you, or rather hearing the sounds of sex, regardless of who has it.

If your brother and his man make too much sound, I think it is within your right to ask them to be mindful of the other people in the house. However, if your main concern is your brother being involved in gay sex, you may have to get used to the idea, because he won't switch back to being straight, especially if he's the girl in the relationship.

I've been in almost the same situation in my sister's apartment. I'm a gay man, and always been the girl in all my relationships with guys so far. Being fully cognizant of the situation, my sister had invited me and my man to stay in her place while we were visiting her town, rather than going to a hotel. To be fair to my sister, my boyfriend and I had kept it pretty quiet having sex there, even though I'm not the quietest type normally.

When I spoke with my sister about it later on, she said she had also felt uncomfortable not only about that night, but about my lifestyle in general. So, she added that, one of the reasons for her to invite us was to force herself to come into terms with the fact that her brother was gay and a total bottom at that.

Since that time, I think we came a long way, and she feels more comfortable seeing me next to a man. I think we are now in a phase where she doesn’t see it too different than having a sister bringing her boyfriend into her environment. To be fair to my sister and others around us, my boyfriend and I do not exaggerate our acts of intimacy in their presence, and limit things to occasional kisses and hugs. Do you think you might tolerate that one day, as well?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Sucks you have to put up with this. You are trying to be nice and PC about this, but you are obviously disgusted as anyone should Be. If it was even 10 years ago this would be completely unacceptable.

I have gay friends who I love and respect. But I want to know absolutely NOTHING about their sex life and they know it. But the recent LGBT push now (because they are never satisfied) is to “put it out there” is a way “to be equal”.

But this is your brother. I would privately talk to him and say while you have no problem with his sexuality it makes you very uncomfortable to hear everything. Have him buy sound deadening paint for his bedroom walls (I got this). And it seems your parents don’t care or if they do that would be “homophobic” so they are afraid to speak up.

But it’s NOT your brothers house. I know my mom would get pissed when I was a kid if my brother or I had girls in behind closed doors for too long. My mom walked in on my brother act and his girlfriend one time when he was 16 (although both my parents had zero respect for our privacy.) she went ballistic.

How old is brother anyway? If he’s a minor and this other guy is over 18 then you clearly have a much bigger problem on your hands.

supercutebutt · Accepted Answer

Imagine that your brother's anus is YOUR vagina or your anus. So for example, while you are lying in bed and hearing sounds from the other room, lube up your dildo and try to time the penetration and the in-and-out movements of you pleasuring yourself with the butt sex that is happening next to you. You may hear the headboard banging against the wall, so try and replicate that rhythm. If you hear your brother moan, try to intensify the pleasure you are feeling by going deeper of faster with your dildo. Maybe brother and sister can orgasm together! This will probably bring the two of you closer.

nerms123 · Accepted Answer

Yeah that’s awkward. Just tell him you don’t want to hear them shagging and definitely get some good earplugs

Alistar88 · Answer

Have a girls night, watch movies and hang out. Invite them to join in. Or go out, you dont need to be there. Put on headphones, watch a movie or listen to music.

Berethor · Answer

So your brother is a fag like Vito? and you are a Catholic? :)

markscott · Answer

You can tell them that the walls are thin, and you are uncomfortable with hearing their sex sounds, so pleas keep is quiet. This is a reasonable thing to say and expect.

HungLikeAHorsefly · Answer

There are two issues here - one that you're uncomfortable with your brother being gay, and the other that you can hear your brother having sex through the wall.

For the former, just suck it up and get with the times. For the latter, nobody should have to hear their sibling fucking in the next room. Tell them to cut it out or go somewhere else.

wankiam · Answer

you might like the guy if you give yourself a chance but here's the main thing... i dont think its as likely as you imagine that they would have sex in the next room in your parents house... straight couples also exercise a certain level of respect too in such situations so you might b worrying about nothing

WalterRadio · Answer

It is not obvious, and you should have a private talk with your brother that you expect him to not.

foxrider77 · Answer

I would just watch a movie in the living room. Maybe invite a guy over to keep your mind off the gay sex going down.

Annie12234 · Answer

You gotta just accept it cos all men are gay. Just go bedroom and wear headphone and listen music or go out shopping or meet with your friends. Get use to it. It’s 2019 now.

pigoat · Answer

Headphones or move out

Legendhardon · Answer

Put on your headphones and listen to your favorite music☺. That sucks that your going through this😢 i wish i could confort you. I only have a gay relative in mexico and a lesbian cousin in mexico. But i want you to know that your very strong to have to deal with this issue, and its going to be hard but im sure you can overcome it☺.

TonyBologna25 · Answer

Need to get the hell over it dude. That's your brother, and he didn't choose to be gay. I'm sure it's already difficult enough for him to finally come out to his family, and now you're putting him in an even more uncomfortable position. Do you really want to force him into a position in which he's forced to hide his life from his family? That does a number on ones mental health. If he's a decent guy with some class, I don't think he'll be having anal sex with his partner in the room right next to you. If he does, then he needs to learn some etiquette and you need to bring it to his attention that it's very uncomfortable for you.

genericname85 · Answer

headphones are a great invention xD

NorthwestRider · Answer

Lol you sound very judgy

TheFlak38 · Answer

sooo homophobic.

coilybepraised · Answer

Honestly, noise cancelling headphones is probably your best bet.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Listen to music with headphones. Lol

BeHappy1985 · Answer

Is it because you are jealous that he got one and you don't?

Twalli · Answer

Would you care if he was straight and unto pegging?

jss123 · Answer

Hopefully they'll have the decency not to have sex but if they do you'll need noise cancelling headphones. I sleep near a married couple and its a necessity 😂