How to behave on a first date if I want him to take me seriously?

I've met someone over the internet around a month ago, we've been chatting on and off and we decided to meet, he seems genuine but kind of not completely interested? I don't know he will only chat with me if I start to chat with him first and he says he can't tell for sure how he's going to feel about me until we've met face to face. And he seems distrusting of women in general, on the other hand I've never had a boyfriend, a sex life or been in a relationship and I'm almost 30 years old. I was being honest to him and I was being a bit too open and I told him that I'd like to hug him and kiss him and stuff like that without being too sexual, I hope... but I'm a weird girl and I'm not all that pretty and he's quite handsome.

I'm afraid he will not want me once he sees me it feels like he's going to want to ditch me or something. I have zero confidence and it's going to be my first date ever... and I don't want him to see me like a horny loser... I want something long term, I want him to like me... should I kiss him or not kiss him if he wants to kiss?

What is it that I must do for a guy to take me seriously and not see me as a one time thing? :(
Updates:
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Also I'm extremely shy and awkward around men and I don't even know what to say but I don't have the dorky look I look like a rocker girl instead, it's so weird I know. So my looks can be deceiving. Should I meet him or not? Please give me a piece of mind :(
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Here's my opinion on what a first date should be. Basically you just go somewhere you think you'll both like and that is good for being able to talk. That could be a restaurant that's not too noisy or could be anywhere really that you'll both enjoy being and will be able to spend some time talking.

    I think the main focus on the first date should be getting to know each other better. Share with each other the basics of your life - job, what you like to do in your free time, a little about your families and things like that. Nothing too deeply personal, but enough to get an idea of what kind of people you each are and whether you seem like you might be compatible. When he shares his interests, ask him for more details. Most people like to talk about things they care about and appreciate when someone shows interest in those things.

    My opinion is that a first date that goes well should end with a simple hug or goodnight kiss, but nothing more than that. If you both like each other then you set up a second date and a third and maybe by then you do a little more hugging and kissing.

    I think you don't want to appear desperate on a first date and try to get too physical. If you want to be taken seriously, then I think you need the guy to like you for who you are and not just because he thinks he might get sex.

    Why do you think you're weird? Depending on what that is, you might want to not show too much of that on the first date and make sure you're showing the side of you that is most likely to be appealing. I don't think you should lie or be deceptive, but it's probably better to highlight your most appealing characteristics and not show too much of the ones that might not be appealing. In time of course you'll have to be who you are and have your partner know all about you, but the weirder aspects are probably best left for a later date and not displayed too much on the first date.

  • Don't have sex. Wait a while. If he wants sex he'll leave you if you don't have it soon. Hugging is fine, if you want to kiss him don't aim for his lips. Aim for a cheek. He'll move so it's on the lips if he wants it there. Talk about something you are both passionate about. Shared interests always make interesting discussions. Ask about his life and such, people like talking about themselves.

Most Helpful Girl

  • STOP!!! OVERTHINKING!!! Noooo, Worse thing to Do is Admit Anything Here, dear.
    be Yourself , GO SLOW. xx

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 1
  • The goal is to connect on an emotional level. Be sensual but talk about deep conversation.