In the bedroom, do you expect your sexual preferences to be satisfied? & Did you orgasm during your most recent sexual encounter?

[mistixs]

"I demand that I climax," said Nicki in her cover interview for Cosmopolitan US's July issue. "I think women should demand that. I have a friend who's never had an orgasm in her life. In her life... She says she's a pleaser. I'm a pleaser, but it's fifty-fifty."

So what about you? Do you demand, expect, or not expect your sexual preferences to be satisfied when you're in the bedroom? & Did you orgasm during your most recent sexual encounter?

[MrOracle]

I don't "demand" something that is not totally within my partner's control. I *expect* to have an orgasm, but if I don't, it's probably more my issue than hers. Likewise, I *expect* her to have orgasms (almost always plural), but everyone has an off day sometimes and you can't always get there, and I learned to accept that as being true.

I think you should expect your sex partner to make a reasonable effort (and not just a token effort) to get you to orgasm, even if it means being a bit selfless on occasion, but ultimately it's not entirely your (or their) responsibility if it doesn't happen.

Anyway, this really isn't something I've had a problem with myself. I've always felt it was my job to make a significant effort to get my partner off, and much of my own pleasure comes from hers, so it's rewarding to me when it happens. And I've never had a steady partner not do her part - my only complaints in that department come from a couple of one-night-stands years ago.

[markscott]

I expect my sexual preferences to be satisfied most of the time. However, my preferences are such, that they don't put any particular burden or problem on her. If I had a preference that was taxing or tiring on her, or difficult, etc., I would not expect them to be satisfied all of the time, maybe not even most of the time.

[DorkVader]

Confession time: I have pretty low expectations of sexy times. I'm usually not in a relationship so I'm not always comfortable with the people I have sex with, so I have pretty low expectations overall, and I'm usually right. I didn't orgasm with my last friends with benefits AT ALL and I eventually ghosted him because we weren't really compatible anyway (he irked the fuxk out of me).

[mistixs]

Why do you have sex with them then, if you don't expect to be satisfied? A vibrator would be more worthwhile

[DorkVader]

I have hope, lol. Also it's still satisfying in a way

[mistixs]

You don't need "hope" that you'll be satisfied by a vibrator; it's almost a guarantee.

[DorkVader]

I have hope that I'll be satisfied by a man. Vibrators are a given.

[DorkVader]

Thanks for MHO

[JimmyQ]

You sound like a used car dealer who pushes vibrators on the side. She is probably doing that already. It's not the same thing. Let her have some hope and you keep playing with yourself and having no hope.

[DorkVader]

@JimmyQ Relax. Vibrators will never replace people, no matter how good

[Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over]

What a biotch. That’s an awful pressure to put on a guy when a woman can have a psychological block because of nerves or worries unrelated to her partner’s efforts. There’s so much more to sexual intimacy than the climax. If Nicki demands an orgasm, let her do it herself. I could just luxuriate in the masculinity of my partner laying next to me skin on skin.

[mistixs]

"a woman can have a psychological block because of nerves or worries unrelated to her partner’s efforts" But Nicki doesn't, and she knows that if she doesn't orgasm, it IS due to her partner's lack of effort. So she's not a bitch for expecting her partner to make her orgasm.

[Boppy]

I don't endorse the biotch comment. Mistixs, your post does include "I think women should demand that." I think Nicki encouraging all women to think that way (putting all responsibility for sexual pleasure on their partners, in the most extreme interpretation) is the issue.

[aicarg]

I expect, but don't always demand - it depends on the situation/time/mood. However if he always leaves me dissatisfied... I will demand, cause hey, a girl has her cravings and needs!

And yes, my boyfriend made me orgasm during our last sexual encounter.

[Daniela1982]

Fuck, are you serious? Guys who watch porn expect you to act like a porn queen. It isn't going to happen on my watch.

[purplepoppy]

Demanding is never a good start. Too much pressure on the guy and you just come across as a spoit bitch.

[mistixs]

Wanting equal pleasure =/= being spoiled.

[Lurdie]

That's actual really confusing? You have sex to feel good why shouldn't you expect to orgasm? Why is that bar too high?

[IronTaigaV69]

Mistixs she didn't say don't want an orgasm she clearly said don't put pressure on your partner. And Lurdie she never said it's a high bar to expect an orgasm she said it's not a good start to demand an orgasm. If you lead with that, your partner's ability to give you what you want severely drops. You come across as spoiled when you make it feel more like a mission that an exciting activity to your partner.

[IronTaigaV69]

*than

[Lurdie]

You're not spoiled for asking to come dont make women feel bad for having standards

[IronTaigaV69]

See, you're not reading what I typed. I said it's not okay to demand something from someone and make them feel bad for their inability to do something. What about the person who's never made a woman cum, should women make him feel bad for not being able to do something? Take the time and read what I typed this time. I didn't make women feel bad for anything, I just said it's not a good idea to put pressure on someone and expect something good out of it. Your partner should enjoy making you orgasm, but if you pressure them they'll constantly doubt themselves if they can't live up to your requirements.

[Lurdie]

It's not about him, it's about you. You shouldn't be labeled as spoiled for wanting the most basic think from sex. This is literally the bottom of the barrel of demands to have from sex. Next we'll demand to have men be nice and caring lmfao

[IronTaigaV69]

You're still not reading what I'm typing. If you did then you would know that I never said women were spoiled for expecting a partner to give them an orgasm. I said that too much pressure is NOT GOOD for that type of situation.

[IronTaigaV69]

Now, "Lurdie", I ask YOU, why do you encourage putting ridiculous amounts of pressure on someone just because you want to? You don't have to be pushy just ask.

[IronTaigaV69]

READ it first, because the last time you didn't, you just went on a rant about something I didn't say.

[Lurdie]

Im reading what you're writing no need to be rude. Where we disagree is, you're saying its a ridiculous amount of pressure im saying it's a bottom of the barrel demand. It's so basic idek why we're discussing it.

[IronTaigaV69]

We don't disagree, and I wasn't rude. Listen you're still not reading what I'm typing.

[IronTaigaV69]

First tell me where I said it's not okay to WANT an orgasm.

[IronTaigaV69]

This is going to be a shock to you because you like to take what I didn't say and rant about it. Now, my real message plain and clear, since you deliberately try not to grasp it, is: It is not okay to make someone feel bad so you can feel good. It JUST ISN'T. Also, no, I wasn't rude to you in ANY way. I was just telling you what exactly what you were and weren't doing. That's not being rude.

[Lurdie]

It's not about making anyone feel bad. It's about, plain and simple, having standards when it comes to sex. If you demand to feel good during sex and your partner can't do it then they need to up their game. This is the most basic demand from sex so yeah im not gonna drop my standards any lower. Obvi dont bully or belittle anyone but make your standards clear

[IronTaigaV69]

Yeah but that's not a "bar too high" like you said earlier, pressuring someone is the "bar too high". That's what I'm trying to say.

[IronTaigaV69]

I agree with you on what you're saying.

[IronTaigaV69]

But why do you think it's okay to pressure someone?

[Lurdie]

What do you mean pressure someone? By requring them to help you orgasm during sex?

[Lurdie]

I don't know bro, if thats too much pressure then you're obviously not sexually compatible or they're faint of heart

[IronTaigaV69]

I'm saying don't take all the fun out of sex by making it feel like a mission. If it feels like a mission then you did your partner wrong. It should be fun for both. That's what I'm saying. How did you not get that?

[God_of_Thunder]

I don't expect anything. I'm much more of a giver, anyway.

My primary goal, during sex, is to make sure my partner orgasms. I assume that I'll get mine, too, but I'm not concerned with it. I just want to do my best to make her enjoy it.

[Lliam]

I expect both of our sexual preferences be satisfied. And yes, I came like a fountain.

[Somethingwittty]

If you both dont get off then its not fun for both of you lol. So yes and yes.

[ohshee]

In the bed room or any other place I want her to have 1 to 5 orgasms it's been a lone time but yes we both did

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I get that some guys kinda just cum and then bail on sex but sometimes getting a girl just becomes an impossible task, like negotiating peace in the middle east.

[ImSparkly]

It all depends on he encounter type. In a hookup, your pretty much on your own. FWB’s and the like there’s some concern for each other because you want to be invited back, but your still managing your own orgasms, while being with a partner and ‘making love’ you know the other person is into bringing you joy while your bringing them joy. It’s a little over simplified, but I do appreciate some help no matter what.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Not really, I never have expectations.
The only thing you can call expectation so to say is that it goes well and I don't have a panic attack while she's on top of me.

[SydneySentinel]

I don't demand that. Gosh, can you imagine the heat if a man said that?
I certainly hope it happens every time.

[NYCstreetPhotog]

I'd say I expect it, but in the same way, a lot of my sexual preferences are dirived from fulfilling my woman's desires first.

[camotedragon]

I like BJ's I barely got a few kisses on my dick it got up regardless and I came hard so it's all good

[NickiB]

I expect to be satisfied. And my last encounter was the most intense encounter i ever had.

[valentine74]

19 wow you are lucky to be so confident with your body. Good for you

[NickiB]

Why? Because I expect to be satisfied?

[PartRaptor]

Only women read cosmo mags that is a red flag

[Sleepy_mommy]

F. I like satisfaction but also I realize it’s not going to happen every time and didn’t the last time. As long as we both have fun I’m contented

[Riddler1412]

I expect to be satisfied, and try to satisfy the girl I'm with.

[MsElizabeth96]

I Don't expect my expectations to be satisfied every time, because I realise it's give and take.

Some times things need to revolve around my husband so he gets what he wants

[mistixs]

Are there times during which it revolves around you & you getting what you want?

[MsElizabeth96]

Sometimes, though not as much. I Realise that if I become too demanding I'll end up getting none at all, lol

[mistixs]

I'd rather have none at all, than for my partner to get satisfaction & for me to get none.

[MsElizabeth96]

Why?

[mistixs]

Why would I want to have sex if I'm not going to get any satisfaction?

[kim45456]

So your husband dont give a fuck about your needs?

[MsElizabeth96]

I don't know really, we struggle to both be satisfied. Things he enjoys I don't, and vise versa He does try sometimes

[TacosRAwesome]

I expect to be satisfied and ideally I orgasm but if one of us has an off day I don't mind.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. I don't demand anything.

But yeah, it is 50/50! Good for her.

I think the principle here is "You don't get what you don't ask for."