When you're in a relationship, do you fantasize about other people?

[mistixs]

[nightdrot]

Sure. That is pretty much built into the male model of the species in particular.

Evolution has made it that the natural instinct of the human male is to impregnate as many females as possible. That is how the species has survived for several hundred thousand years. It is what gives the male his sex drive.

Still, man has evolved since then. The instincts are still there but we are more than just the sum of what evolution has made us into.

So I will, sometimes, think of other women. It may be that gal you see on television or see at a business meeting or such. Maybe you watch a bit of porn.

Yet when I see my girlfriend, that all goes out the window. There is the fantasy - and then there is the reality.

There is the image and then there is the woman who has given me the three most beautiful little gifts a woman can give to a man. Gifts who get all excited and run up shouting "Daddy!!" when I get home. The woman who, when I get on my high horse - and I do that a lot!! - just rolls her eyes, smiles at me and kisses me on the cheek. The woman who holds me when I am nervous or stressed. The woman who when she says three little words - "I love you" - just brightens my whole world. The woman whom, when we have sex, it feels raw and animal and loving and warm and the whole universe just shrinks down to just the two of us and nothing else seems to matter.

The list goes on and not every day is magical and stress free. Yet I would not trade that fantasy for that reality for one instant. We are complex creatures with a natural sex drive that makes us want to use our naked bodies for pure physical pleasure. It is animal and instinctive and wanting to satisfy that instinct is natural and understandable.

Yet nothing can replace the feeling I get when that woman I love smiles at me and does something as simple as holding my hand. Fantasies are nice. Reality - with all its imperfections - is better.

[itsmatty]

lol i must not be human then cause i'm trying hard not to impregnate any woman.

[nightdrot]

@itsmatty Well, you are probably a lot tougher than the rest of us poor guys. (I speak as the father of three. My girlfriend and I live together and just do not want to be married.) That said, you may not want to get'em pregnant - but I would be willing to bet that you don't mind the method that gets you there. Cheers!

[VIVANT]

not Everything has to be about spreading seed.. women fantasize too.. it’s just a thing people do

[nightdrot]

@VIVANT Two points. First, there is a parallel instinct on the female side. It is just that I did not bother to lay it out for reasons of space. Evolutionary psychology works for both genders. Secondly, people usually do things for motives of which they are either aware or unaware. We do not have sexual fantasies unbidden. Rather, they are rooted in our instincts to have sex, modified by a complex array of factors from how we were raised and the culture we grew up in and how we were educated and so on. Fun as we like to think it might be - we are not self-made men who worship our creators. Suffice to add the line from the movie Bull Durham - "The world is not made for people who are burdened with the curse of self-awareness."

[Lliam]

I'm married and am satisfied with my wife. I do fantasize sometimes but not about other people, per se. I do appreciate the female form and sometimes watch porn just to see women getting well fucked and to watch their bodies move. At that point, I might fantasize about sex in general, but not about having sex with those specific women. It's kinda like being able to enjoy movies of various genres without actually wanting to be one of the characters in real life. Does that make sense?

When women who are in relationships read romance novels or watch movies, do many of them fantasize about being ravished by the actual character or about being ravished in general?

Do many people picture someone else when they are making love to their partner? I suppose some might, sometimes. Nobody would ever cop to it, though.

I guess what I'm exploring here as I think about the question is the different ways of fantasizing about other people. What does that mean?
For example, there's one kind where a person in a relationship might have urges to actually cheat. Like they know someone else that they are actually tempted to fuck. But then there are innocent erotic fantasies. Those are just thoughts about sex that we have at any given moment.

[SueAnon84]

Wow I guess I'm in the minority! 8% (Choice E)! ... I don't fantasize about others because when I was in a relationship, my focus was on them! I wanted to see them happy and more importantly, happy with me! ... If I know the real definition of "fantasize" it means to imagine yourself with someone else! Now why would I do that? ! That's just temptation and a disaster waiting to happen! Usually, what you think about you secretly desire! It may or may not mean that deep down, you truly aren't happy in your relationship! So then when I am in one, I try my best in it! I don't like half -assing things! ... I do know that no relationship is perfect and yes, there IS temtpation out there! However, if you want to be happy in your life and with your time (yes this is TIME and memories and feelings invested in your partner) with them, then you will do whatever it takes to make it work! ... Not counting extreme cases like abuse but in a normal, contented relationship, you should be faithful (both mentally not just physically!) when you are in a relationship! That's just for respect as well as care and love that you are giving to your partner!

[CarpetDenim]

When I'm in a relationship, I don't fantasize about other people. I've always been satisfied with my partner. I believe that if someone does fantasize about other people, that guarantees that on some level, even if they aren’t consciously aware of it, they are unhappy, bored of, or unsatisfied with their partner. There’s no other logical reason for them to fantasize about someone else.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

No, I've never been interested in more than one person at a time. I guess it's just not the way I work.

[DiamondQueenOfAce]

No, I don’t.

[MissKittyz]

I will only fantasize about other people if the relationship isn't going well. For example, with my ex of 2 years, I started fantasizing about other guys because our sex was awful, the relationship felt like we were more friends than a couple and it just went downhill.

Now, I am engaged to my amazing partner and I never fantasize about other people. He is the only one in my mind. So if I am in a good relationship, I will not.

[Daniela1982]

Not on your life! When I am in a relationship I am all in! I don't play dard ass@

[purplepoppy]

Yes that's why they invented the light switch.

[Doctor_Strix]

I only fantasize when I masturbate. I don’t fantasize at all when I’m with my wife. I find pleasure in her achieving orgasm, and enjoying the pleasure I give her. Especially with her vocal moans. That is usually the que for all men since it serves a primitive purpose.

[Cactusqueen]

Fantasy is fun. I wouldn’t be hurt to think my partner sometimes fantasizes about other women too

[daisy56]

Nope, I only fantasise about my partner

[Skyrim5346]

If you are attracted to your partner then there is no need to fantasize about other people but if you're sexual relationship is not satisfying then you shouldn't be fantasizing about other people create fantasies about your partner and give yourself a little bit of solo action too those fantasies and use them to make your sex life more satisfying for both of you and your sexual needs and wellbeing

[JackSmy]

I never have fantasized about other women, but I sometimes see some, wearing something, and point her out to my lady, and things the woman is wearing, as things that I like women to wear, that I think might look really good, on her.

[Daniela1982]

You mean like a scanty ohh la la?

[JackSmy]

@Daniela1982 No, not at all! Not 'naughty' things, in public! :) :) In public, it's just things I like, and looks, I like. Maybe a huge, cuddly sweater dress, with tight leggings, and the dress is really short. I imagine my lady, wearing that, and how amazing she would look! With my last lady, she had long brown hair, and I love these little brass clips, and how they hold women's long hair back, out of their face, and sometimes, behind their ears, totally exposing their ears. I saw one, with similar clips, and mentioned it, and later that night, we discovered how erotic and intense a little ear teasing can be for some women!

[Sensmind]

I think B is best option - It is fair enough for people to have fantasies but within context - To bring down to a simple level, say you are content in your job but some mornings you might fantasise about staying in bed, maybe ponder having a job with more travel, less hours, more/less people - Having these thoughts doesn't mean you are inwardly screaming "I hate my job and workmates"

[21browngirl]

I think its a human thing.. You never stop fantasizing.. it can not always be about sex.. just a kiss or a tease or anything.. lolz

[Hamsteroids]

Nope. Only my man. I just can’t even do it. Ew

[Aidelwaish]

No way

[Dongtai]

I never fantasize. But if I feel I’m being taken for granted or mistreated i will start to “notice” other women and think to myself

“Does she not realize I’m “choosing” to be with her and that there’s other girls that can replace her?”

I don’t necessarily fantasize but if I feel like I’m being taken for granted I do start to remember my self-worth and remind myself why I chose said girl. It’s because I thought she was the best “for me”.

If it’s to that point though more than likely a breakup is coming unless there’s some really good excuse she has that she hasn’t told me why she’s been treating me poorly.

[boumka]

I won't restrict my imagination because I'm in a relationship. Being satisfied with my partner as nothing to do with what I dream about.
And if I'm to a point where im not satisfied, I will work with my partner to get things right, In a consensus or breakup if thats the last resort, but my dreams and my imagination is not in the way of any relationship I get in.

[Finchie40]

Yes it is normal if it’s just your imagination here and there nothing wrong with it but if you constantly do it then it usually means something is missing in your relationship and it’s not being fulfilled

[Grande_Beefy_Swirl]

Being poly means me AND my partner fantasize about other people

[Agape93]

Chose B

[0112358]

The amount of fantasy is very linked to satisfaction.