1 mo

Is this real trauma?

Anonymous
I've never really talked about it because I always feel like other people have things worse so me being upset is crazy and that its nothing really. Ever since I was a little kid my uncle would make me walk on his back and on his face and sometimes stand on his dick when we were alone. I was in elementary school and only new enough that I new that was supposed to hurt guys. He never took off his pants or anything. Would just make me stand on him. As I got older it would make me feel more and more uncomfortable. I started lashing out and I would kick him when he would have me step on him. He would have people step on him during family gatherings to "straighten out his back" as he would say. He would have me do it while others were around and when I'd lash out my aunt would yell at me. I never even knew why it made me so upset. He would have my mom do it sometimes and I would try and push her off and tear up.

As I got older he would pick me up from school sometimes and he would pull off to the side take off my shoes and socks and sniff my feet and rub them all over his face. He would sometimes even rub them on the outside of his pants.

The time he really scared me I was in high school and he came to fix my computer. He said I needed to step on him as thanks and he started to lick my feet and rub it all over his face. I asked what he was doing and he said cleaning them. I was so scared.

After that I distance myself from him as much as possible. In my head I feel like this was molestation but he never touched me or did anything under his pants so I've never felt confident in saying that. I feel that it is not really trauma and that I'm crazy because so many other people have had so much worse happen to them. I honestly get scared anytime anyone I dont trust goes near my feet.
Is this real trauma?
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