I want an open relationship with my ex but he's always asking about other guys he's heard I'm seeing. How do I get his mind off them and one me?

[Madkeyra00]

I still am sexually attracted to my ex but I don't want a relationship with him. We were together for 3 years but he cheated on me and had a baby with someone else. I was in love with him and he said he was in love with me. We broke up and I left him for like a year no contact. He lives on my families block. When I came back around he had a girlfriend but he dumped her but he's still messing with his child mother and another girl. He was trying to run off the guys I was dating but they still see me. At first I didn't want any kind of relationship with him but he won't leave me alone. He's asking my friends my business even dated one of them all while harassing me. So I decided to have a sexual relationship with him because that's all I enjoy at this point. Each time we are together he talks about things he's heard about me and other guys or things that happened with me and other guy. I don't want to talk to him about other guys. What should I do? I'm willing to have an open relationship with him but I don't want to talk about what I'm doing in my personal life outside of him and I don't ask him what he's doing in his or with who. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him. I'm with him and instead of him talking about hooking up he's talking about shit he heard and it pisses me off. We haven't even had sex yet because he turns me off with those conversations and I normally leave or we argue. I can't continue this way. Either we gonna have a friends or benefits or he should just leave me alone. How can I get his mind off of the other guys and spying on me and just focus on me?

[Anonymous]

Please tell him you and he aren't in a relationship and what you do with other men is none of his business, just like what he does with other women is none of your business. Now he can either shut up and get an orgasm with you or he can go without - but you refuse to discuss this matter with him anymore.
If he keeps talking about it, go away from him, read any one of Josette Sona's free ebooks to become knowledgeable about controlling guys and their manipulative/abusive ways, (it helped me to see things more clearly) and try to find someone else (away from him) that no one else knows about.

As he's involve with other women, I don't think you're going to get him to focus on you, hon.

If he's a controller, he's probably not going to get his mind off of the other guys and spying on you, I'm sorry to say.

You deserve someone who cares about you and doesn't sleep around/is involved with other women. Good luck, hon.

[clowngirl123]

It sounds like a toxic relationship. He should be understanding, y’all were broken up so your past relationships shouldn’t matter and now you don’t want anything serious with him. He seems like he’s trying to use the jealousy as a way to manipulate your mindset.

[TheLawAroundHere]

Next chance you get, auck his prick so well that he will tell his grandkids about it. And i mean GOOD. Balls, taint, finger in his ass. You know. The special occasion head. When his balls tighten, stop. Give him ur phone. Have him record the last 20 mins of this deal. Edge him so god damned hard that his eyes are crossing. Then get him to repeat everything you want to hear.

"You will STOP INTERFERING with my other dates! Say it!"

" ill... ugh... stop interfering... oh shit... with your other dates. Im gonna..."

Stuff like that. Then the next time he pulls his shit, text that video to 5 of his friends. He keeps it up? Text it to 10 more of his friends. And so on, and so on.

[MrOracle]

You simply have to tell him straight up: "I'm willing to be FWB/have casual, no-strings-attached sex with you, but if you can't stop talking about other guys, I have to end our contact entirely - and I don't want to hear about your other relationships either. So, if you can enjoy our time together and focus on ME when we're together, great. If not, I'm out, and you don't need to contact me further."

Now, it's none of my business, but this is a very messy situation that is going to get messier, and those things tend to come with a lot of drama and problems. Make sure you really consider the outcome before you start getting involved with messy people and messy situations.

[NolanConrad5436]

Just move forward. If he's a cheater he's not worth your time regardless of how the sex is. He didn't care for you then and he won't car for you in the future.

[COMMODOREII]

He wants to control you and he is already doing that with you allowing for the open relationship. Its messed up really.

[mT2359]

Tell him you want sex and no strings attached. He should understand that or else just get the f#@& out of your way.

[Yammy]

Do you like having lots of sex?

[Madkeyra00]

I do like having lots of sex but I'm not having sex with a lot of guys probably two at a time.

[Yammy]

Oh, is that a comfortable number?

[Madkeyra00]

Yes but not at the same time.

[Yammy]

Well yeah haha

[jirwin7979]

thats hard to do but open relationships are awesome no worries about one or the other cheating but it is very hard to find a guy or girl in to open relationships

[ShavenRaver]

The guy has too many emotional issues. Lay down the law, explain that you are just friends with benefits and that's all. If he can't deal with this then tell him to move on.

[rajesh_leo]

You are wasting time on a person who wants to control you negativily. He is a cheater himself but can't stand your relationships with other men.

[Minato157]

Aren’t you a little old for this kind of drama?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an abuser. He gets sex from other women so he's not desperate to have sex with you. That's why he shows his controlling side.

[Anonymous]

Jesus Christ... As I was reading this I thought you were a dumb young girl, but it turns out you're a dumb older woman. This is childish, grow up. Tell him to leave you alone.