Would you date a girl who is gender-queer?

[Moonface333]

Hey, I'm what you would call a girl because in every sense I am very feminine looking. I mostly have no control over my looks cause of conservative parents so I have really long voluminous blonde hair, 32 G cup boobs and and hourglass shape with a big butt. I really like working out and eating foods from every culture and the guys I'm most attracted to would ideally be like me, attractive, fit and tall (cause I'm also 5'9 oof) but I'm afraid that if I start embracing how I want to look, men that I would usually go for wouldn't find me attractive. Obviously there isn't much I can do about my figure and I'm fine with it, but being gender-queer for me just means I want to look androgynous, not that I necessarily want to be or look like a boy. So if I had short hair and I started dressing in androgynous clothes in a non cringey way, would I still be able to attract the kind of guy I'm into? As a gender-queer person I could pretty much go back to looking feminine at any time by just throwing on a dress and some makeup, so I guess my biggest question is if a guy I would be attracted to would mind short hair.

[Anonymous]

A woman like that... I’d be significantly less attracted to. (I realize you’re closer to my kids age then me so I’m talking about theoretically of course). It’s not the short hair or no makeup or boyish clothing on their own, it’s the combination. I’m just... not... bi or pan. I’m not ethically against them, but like most straight men, I really am only sexually (and then romantically) attracted to women. I don’t have strict rules for how women must be and it’s not about gender roles... but at some point in combination all the things you mention could successfully make you look androgynous and then... I just wouldn’t be attracted.

[Aethereal]

If gender-queer requires short hair, then I'd have to answer "no" to the question. Long hair is pretty much the only physical feature I'm seriously attracted to in a woman so while I would have no problem dating a girl who dresses masculine, and doesn't wear makeup, I do mind short hair.

But you shouldn't have any problem. Lots of guys are okay with, and even prefer short hair.

[sejla]

I'm confused by your terminology. When I hear gender queer I think of a more masculine gay female but I think you are saying that you are straight or bi but like to be more masculine in your physical look as well as your personality.

I think you have to be you and see who you attract. Just be observing couples I think there are enough men who are attracted to women with more "masculine" type look. I don't even like to use the work masculine to describe it because that isn't quite right.

[sejla]

We used to call such women tomboys. www.bolde.com/.../

[morecow]

Your definition of genderqueer essentially sounds like a normal person to me.
If you're not doing it in a cringey way, like you said, nobody will even notice. Let me let you in on a secret, a huge portion of guys don't give a shit what you wear as long as it doesn't look ridiculous. If you want to test this hypothesis, ask all your male friends/co-workers/etc you see in a day what you wore yesterday, and see if even 1/3 remember. Women care about clothes way more than men, as a general trend

[sawno]

I'd avoid her over the word queer alone. It shows we are incompatible at quite a fundemental level. But i would indeed not be attracted, i love tomboys but i do want them to look like girls. Hair does a lot for me attraction wise and you can't achieve that with a buzzcut.

[Avicenna]

There will be guys who are fine with that

[NerdInDenial]

You can try short hair; some women can pull it off.

[fett253]

I prefer short hair, and I'm sure others do too. You'll still drive him crazy when you wish with a body like that!