Do you evaluate sexual partners based on personality traits or just looks?

[Robertcw]

Just curious people. Don't read too much into it. Just looking for honest answers to satisfy my curiosity.

I evaluate a person's personality as well as my physiological response to their looks. But I suspect there is a large group of people who may value conformity to a certain style or look more than other traits. As well as a portion who disregards or doesn't vale individual personality traits or individualism in general.

[SuperManiac]

I think I'm evaluating predominantly their personality traits but I do that even by their looks. I stopped answering those "Who looks prettier to you?" types of questions because I realized how much I was doing this and constantly voting for the one who I thought would be the most friendly, have the largest sense of humor, etc. My idea of "good-looking" isn't some statuesque model type, but a warm and friendly type. It's like I look and try to imagine if we would get along well together.

Of course, I do assess things like health, and I tend to favor ones at or close to a healthy body fat percentage. But I think even that is a personality trait since I like to eat healthily and train my body (my only really unhealthy vice was alcohol which I'm determined to quit completely) and it's like we can enjoy those kinds of foods and activities together. I don't think it's purely a primitive kind of fertility evaluation: it's more abstract in my case even when I am assessing physical health.

[SuperManiac]

It is a bit difficult not to read too much into these things since I'm not completely conscious of what I'm doing. Most of it is buried deep in the subconscious, and I'm constantly trying to ask myself questions and looking for patterns to try to tap into the subconscious. Yet I'm almost certain that I am evaluating is more abstract ("personality", e. g.) and less primitive ("fertility", e. g.).

[SuperManiac]

[...] Yet I'm almost certain that [what] I am evaluating is more abstract [...]

[SuperManiac]

One thing I have noticed is that I'm rarely that attracted to the girl that's turning all the guys' heads in a room. It's usually the more overlooked types that I find most attractive. I did date a model once who did turn a lot of heads, but that was some sort of fluke. Actually, I think the only reason she liked me is that I was the only guy in the room not so impressed by her looks, so instead of trying to pick her up, I just found her sitting across from me and said "hi" and started a friendly conversation with no expectations of it, and she ended up being the one to invite me to hang out with her.

[Robertcw]

So you judge looks by fashion cues and culture. Not many voted for that but I think it's very common especially in minority communities. For example, the 'bad bitch' look and so on.

[SuperManiac]

Not quite so, I think, since I find fashion not highly-indicative of a character.. at least when you know someone very closely. I think it has more to do with manner, tone of voice, little habits, way of smiling, things of this sort. Well, I'm into visual arts and was especially interested in the human figure and portraiture so I tend to take in a lot when I look at a person -- but their fashion usually doesn't factor in that much unless it's really in the extremities... and then I still doubt any assumptions I might be tended to make there as being correct.

[SuperManiac]

Well, a sketch might help. Like I drew this girl in a bar, and she was moving a lot but the pose I thought most fit of her was like sweet... and maybe a little hint of mischief -- like her way of seeing the world is about fun and excitement, and maybe living each day to the fullest... that's what I saw anyway, so I try to sketch it rapidly.


And I usually like a girl if the impression I get like that, of their "soul", is interesting... of course the impression could be wrong. But it sparks curiosity and attraction to figure out if what I think is right.

[SuperManiac]

Another time I saw this French girl, and I noticed she seemed subconscious of her nose. She had kind of a big nose, and seemed to be constantly looking down to hide it, and slightly nervous habits in the hands. But it's like when people talked to her she made a genuine effort to look at them and smile, and so it's like this is a girl who doubts herself in the world and is constantly afraid of being judged, but she means so well towards others. I kind of liked that image, but not really my type if it was accurate -- because I find those nervous types can have big swings of emotions up and down. I told her that her nose was so pretty and reminded me of Roman and Greek goddess statues -- then she started smiling and wrote me a letter when she went to France complaining that her boyfriend never complimented her nose. :-D But that's how I look at girls and see them.

[Shiver]

I have a few fuckbuddies, mostly cougars and they're all amazing women outside of the context of sex. They all look good, but their personalities are what make me keep coming back.

[Mädchen]

Both. Can't say which is more important cause I have to be attracted to him. There is no way I'd date someone I'm not attracted to. But the range of people I could be attracted to is very wide. He doesn't have to be good looking by societys standarts. And Same goes for personality. We have to be on the Same Level personality wise. We need to get along and be able to have fun with each other

[purplepoppy]

Even if it's just for sex you must evaluate their personality. If a guy can't conduct himself properly in public I'm not risking being alone with him.

[Robertcw]

Very practical.

[DizzyDesii]

I choose a boyfriend based on looks then personality. He becomes a sexual partner based on if i feel in love and if we’ve been dating nearly a year or more

[AiahZ]

Oh come OOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!! Who do you expect to answer this question honestly? :)

[Robertcw]

🤷🏻‍♂️

[mojj0]

I value both, short term looks matter more but to live a life and grow old you need to be able to get on well with them

[HollyF]

Obviously the answer is both. To me personality is more important than looks but I still have a minimum threshold, it's always a bonus if they're really attractive too but the key word there is bonus meaning the personality has to come first for me to be interested at all no matter how pretty the package.

[SjE78]

I base every part of my views on others on their own actions, and that also goes beyond partners, friends etc... if someone's personality and own actions show them to be a bit dickish then yeah they will be viewed accordingly until THEY prove me otherwise

[Iwillneverunderstand]

Almost went with the last one but honestly if it's just a little crush I dont look to much into it, just how they handle themselves in situations and their demeanor/attitude with others.
If I plan on introducing the famm I definitely take a closer look as to how they are and their characteristics.

[Alpha09]

For casual partners I'd say both. I do like a bit of "bad boy" cuz they are fun and the sex is usually pretty damn good. I'm not dating them so if they are a bit of a fuck boi, it doesn't really matter. But if you're a complete jackass, no thanks. Common sense and basic respect for others is a must.

[Nikki1989]

Personality traits.

[Browneye57]

Doing them and marrying them are two completely different things.

[Robertcw]

Yeah but even still. Getting grossed out by personality can ruin everything.

[Browneye57]

Oh yeah. Like the 20-somethings... all pretty to look at and delightful to hold...'till they open their mouth and speak. Then all bets are off. LOL

[MannMitAntworten]

Personally I prefer using a quadratic equation.

[Robertcw]

🙄 OKAY.

[JSmuve]

Looks. Personality only matters if I care to be around them outside of the bedroom.

[SomeRandomNobody]

If our relationship is strictly sexual, and not romantic, then looks take the lead. So long as they're not complete bitches, that is.

[dancing_tiger711]

Personality and character and confidence

[TacosRAwesome]

First looks and then how much their personality annoys me or turns me on.

[Robertcw]

Pretty much agree. But do you go on style and cultural trends for looks or so you go on involuntary physiological responses -- and by this I mean pupils dilate, heart rate increases, butterflies in stomach lower jaw goes slack and opens slightly, blood may rush to genitals and engorge them -- basically this '😳'.

[zamshead]

Looks first then personality. But but if personality fails then meaning it's a turn off, no connection at all so no thanks

[joethemoe912]

Both, they need to look good to me and be nice and wholesome on the inside.

[TheAteam1978]

I vote them on performance!

[CT_CD]

I only value my physiological response to their looks

[GreekItaliangirl99]

Combo of both looks to get it personality to keep it.

[Anonymous]

So many women lying...

As for me, if it's just for sex, 90% of it will be looks

Kudos to @AiahZ