Sexual Relationships
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#CasualSexOrNo How long do you prefer to wait (or not) before going at it?

I’m not into one night stands. I do miss waiting til marriage but its hard to keep up. It didn't last with my first ex, but it was so much easier to do when single. Like I still got hit on and got in some almost relationships, but nothing that interfered with my 8 year celibacy. My second ex and I did it after a year and a half of waiting. I was tempted to give in much sooner to whoever came after him but I haven't yet. I just prefer to get as close to a year of waiting because thats what feels comfortable to me. I want it to be sometime between 9-12+ months if im being honest... 6 at the least. I guess I just fear that he’ll get the sex and then be done with me so it makes me not wanna get busy at all. Its hard to tell who will stick around #FeelFreeToList #DirtyDesii #TheDesiiDiaries #Sexvey
#CasualSexOrNo How long do you prefer to wait (or not) before going at it?
#CasualSexOrNo How long do you prefer to wait (or not) before going at it?
One night stand is fine with me
Vote A
At least 1 month
Vote B
At least 3 months
Vote C
At least 6 months
Vote D
At least a year
Vote E
At least engagement
Vote F
At least married
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 7

Most Helpful Girls

  • Until it feels right. I don't set a specific timeframe, because it varies based on the guy, how much time we spend together, and how comfortable I feel.

    But one thing is for sure, and I have told this to several people on here: I NEVER sleep with a guy until we are officially a couple and he proves he has feelings for me! And I don't mean him saying, "I love you" because we all know some people will say anything to get in your pants. No. He has to prove to me he's interested in me and has feelings for me before he gets the goods.

    That's why I said the timeframe varies for me. But as a rough estimate, I'd say about 3-6+ months. No less than that for sure.

    • Yea the showing genuine interest is why i have a timeframe of 6+ months. A lot of guys showed genuine interest in the first week but we didn't make it past 3 months so nahh i didn't trust that. My ex showed genuine interest by month 3 but he didn't get sex til almosr 2 years in

    • Wow, 2 years? That is great!!! And the fact he waited that long shows he was patient and really cared for you. Wish there were more guys like that out there.

    • I think it was also the fact that he was a virgin. They seem a bit more patient bt prob cause theyve waited long enough

    • Show All

  • If you want it better put the RING ON IT. I ain't no washroom guys just use.

    • Yassss 👏

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can wait for a while for the RIGHT woman. Now, when I say “right” woman I mean a woman who has a sexual history that I approve of, has similar beliefs and morals to me, physically attractive, etc. The “etc” might not be too important, as compared to the traits I’ve listed. I would ask or inquire about her sexual history before sex and if I don’t like it then I’d either leave or have sex with her and then leave her once I’ve had it. In this specific situation, I’m willing to wait around a month tops if the woman is attractive enough.

    • Thats why i find out the sexual history within month one of getting to know them. It determines if i’ll still be interested or not

    • 100% yes. Ideally, I’d like to know the first time seeing them. The sooner the better

    • Thats true but i wouldn't want anyone to bring up sex in like week 1... i’d question their intentions

    • Show All

  • I think the woman has the right to say wen. because we as men. Would do it same day we meet the girl
    . But it's up to the woman. N by the way I love fact u say n speak your mind. Ur awesome

    • Lmao you said y'all would choose same day 😂 thank you for liking my realness haha

    • No thank u. for ur cute and awesome way of being.

    • :) 😊😄

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What Girls & Guys Said

10 65

  • Damn, I didn't know there were so many out there saving themselves for x reading over the answers.

    If I'm hitting it off with someone getting into their pants soon, and as often as possible is ideal. If it doesn't happen quickly I start to think it's some elaborate game, and will usually bounce to someone else... unless she's paying for the dates/they're free and early in the day.

    • Wow. Yea i lose interest in people who expect something soon

    • Everyone wants different things. My obsession is time. You can get more of literally anything except for time. It's the one resource that there's always less of every moment.

  • I prefer not to wait long. Maybe on the third of fourth date if we are hitting it off. A month max. If a girl wants to hold off too long, I figure she is hiding something and wasting my time. She's playing games. She has some sort of issue like, maybe she isn't very sexual but won't be honest about it, maybe she has a physical problem, or she wants to get married or something.
    I might really like a girl, but if she isn't sexual, it ain't gonna work. Being sexual requires being vulnerable and honest. It engenders trust and heightens affection to the sky.

    I can appreciate playing it safe. But I also want a woman who really enjoys sex and is horny for me.

    • I just have trust issues. I dont wanna give it up and then rhe guy may or may not stick around. If im gonna take that risk, its gonna be in the long run like 6 months+

    • I hear you. But it seems to me that there is still risk either way.

  • At my age, I know what I want in a partner and I trust my judgment. Most of the women I meet also know what they want and trust their judgment. After a few months, we usually know if this is a serious relationship in which we will feel comfortable with being physically intimate.

    • Well thats sweet

  • I've never placed much value on celibacy and I don't like the social construct of virginity. I've always thought both concepts were just needed to shame people, especially women, who enjoy sex. I've had casual sexual encounters, friends with benefits and long term relationships. In my long term relationships I haven't waited for sexual activity much more than a month. It wasn't for lack of will to wait longer, but because we saw no reason to wait.

    • Well i see reason to wait: when I’m comfortable as to not guilt trip myself for doing it so soon and for religious reasons.

  • I agree with u our answers are really so close it blows me away. But I agree on everything except you say 9-12 months. I say 9- 12 min ,,, see we are not that far off. ,,,,, lol no for me I'm at an age that I don't ever want to hurt or use anyone so to be honest I know what I want and I know what makes me happy and finding that she will be happy , it's been a long time for me but I know when meeting someone if it's going to work or not and I would be honest about it ,, and say u know what u are beautiful you are hit ur are sexy and I would love to get together with you for a lot of different reasons. But,, the one main Important reason is not there. And I need that one ,, and since I know that I'm not willing to fuck up our friendship just because I'm so fucking horny I'm dying to please you all night long I dying for you to me my energy melt with u for you to feel my desire my passion and get in ur pants. I've been there done that and it's not cool so we have to just be friends ,,, and in that moment of silence I'm begging God to hear the words. Well we can be friends with benefits 😮 lol. So see we have the same answer. It's just off a little bit

    • Lmao you only wanna wait 12 min

  • What do you mean by “going at it”? Full sex? It’s been a while but I’d say between 1-2 months of one on one dating. In the range of 4-5 dates.
    but on a couple occasions, I’ve gone at it (kissing) on the first-second date.

    • YEA going at it/getting busy/knockin boots lol

  • We all have different values and I respect yours. I have had fun with one nighters... some great orgasms with no strings attached but I also love the sex while in a lasting relationship.

    • Yess

  • When i was single 20 years ago. Between 1st and second marriage, one night stands, waited a week or so for some, one time i told a guy if he solved two sides of a rubix cube, id go outside with him.

    • LMAO

    • He got the whole thing so i went home with him. Hehe

  • At least engagement. Though if she's had sex before, I think it would be better to do it within a month. I've heard stories about people cheating or breaking up over sex quality because their experience gives them someone to compare you against. Because of that; I'm only willing to wait till engagement or marriage for a virgin, but not for someone with experience.

    • I've had sex but i dont consider myself experienced. The dudes were decent and i know anyone could do better so its not much to compare

  • I honestly don't see any point in waiting. I think for most girls, there is at least one guy that they would sleep with in one night. Imagine your meeting G-Eazy and he's flirting with you and asks you what you're doing tonight.

    I'm not gonna argue if she wants to wait, but I think it says something about my ability to attract, seduce, and keep a woman interested in me.

    • Lmao howd you know I love Geazy 😍 but a celeb is the last person i’d give myself to. I’d be too paranoid that theyd cheat because they can have anyone they want. I’d hang out with Geazy and the most that would happen is kissing/masturbation. Im not doing oral/sex

    • Do you really think you could resist just one night of fun? Oh and you told me once that you love G-Eazy

    • Awww you remembered haha :) and um yea dude I've resisted temptation for 8 years straight before. It was hard but i can't live with myself knowing i gave in so soon

    • Show All

  • I have had only on ONS and it did not go well.

    • Sorry that happened

  • I’m perfectly fine with casual sex although I do have a girlfriend so I don’t know if it’s still considered casual sex or just sex lol, ether way sex is sex if you ask me don’t get why you would wait but that’s just me.

    • I’d wait cause im not gonna pop pussy for a bunch of random dudes

    • Yeah I guess that a fair point, everyone is different, who am I to judge them.

  • I've honestly not be in a relationship long enough to know, not even a real one yet but the longer we cuddle the harder it is not to think of the next step but I'd like to aim as close as possible to marriage if possible...

    • Sounds good

  • 6 months is a good target

    • I agree

  • I think C would come closest. I would really need to have the feeling we're in a stable relationship. Certainly not A :-(

  • Really not sure to be honest.

    • Welcome back

    • Ha. Gotta go on hiatus every now and then.

    • No i did the same. I took a 2 week break. Felt good

    • Show All

  • I'm kinda that person who would have sex after marriage... I don't trust boys.. being a premed I know all are harmonies not love and I kinda love being in love so...

    • No this is good. Yes wait

  • I don't like ONS, but I'm also not going to put a time frame on something I know helps to build a healthy relationship. It should happen naturally, if that means 1st date, so be it, if that means 1 year, again so be it.

    • It can be natural yet i just know my worth and he's gonna have to wait 6 months at the least 🤷‍♀️

    • I get your point, but what if the guy proves his worth before that 6 months has passed? You run the risk of him thinking your being controlling, or taking his worth for granted. Especially in today's cultural climate, where people are so touchy about their feelings.

    • I have tricks up my sleeve. He’ll still get to cum way before 6 months. It just won't be from sex/oral. Its not that he's having to prove his worth for 6 months. Its about when im comfortable putting myself out there. I mainly wanted to wait til marriage but if it won't be marriage then i want it to be close to a year

  • Not into ONS. I need the vibe to there. The energy has to be right. We gotta be on the same page. I gotta have feelings. So it's def not gonna be after the first date.

    • Yaaaaasss queen

    • Lmao

  • Until I feel comfortable with them

    • But do you see that happening in less than a week

    • Nope

  • Show More (55)

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