Sexual Relationships
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My 15 year old son is masturbating with an online friend (who lives about 7 states away) on FaceTime. Is this a healthy situation?

He has a girlfriend (local) he’s been dating for over a year but as far as I know they are only kissing - she comes from a very strict family and doesn’t want a physical relationship yet.

I feel like his girlfriend would consider this mutual masturbation thing cheating and I don’t feel like it’s a safe situation... the online friend could tape him, for instance.

I don’t want to get in his business but he’s made risky choices (online and off) in the past and he’s responded well to intervention when necessary.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You need to put a stop to it. This probably falls into the category of child pornography.

    He's 15 so he is going to masturbate regardless of what you do to try to stop it so don't focus on that. Focus on legal aspect and violation of trust in regards to his girlfriend.

    He should absolutely not be sharing images of himself naked with anyone else for 3 more years.

    If you need to, configure the router in your home to block the program he's using, clamp down on hours of use, move the computer if necessary. He deserves a certain amount of privacy but you can make it clear that if it continues there are measures that can be taken that will deny him access to the internet for this purpose and others if needed.

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

    • Good to hear, thanks for the update.

  • Agree it's cheating... It's not good for even more reasons than that... for the imagery in his mind will create emotional blocks to his girlfriend (my theory). But the shame/exposure is real risk. Do kids think of these things though... doubt it. and how do you stop it the hormones and reality of it.
    Another vote for turn off the internet except for book reports...:)

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This is Cheating.. INTERVENE, Mom. Tell him to either Keep Beating his Meat to someone he never did Meet or Give up the Girlfriend. Cannot have Both Ends. xx

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

  • You know your son you know what is going to work. Obviously jerking off on a live stream is risky AF, he is 15 so he is not thinking about anything that his dick isn't telling him lol

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

  • I have some experience in this. Feel free to message me in private to discuss

  • It's completely safe. No one will get pregnant or contract an StD.

  • Yeah he probably shouldn’t be doing sexual stuff one FaceTime. Next they’ll record it and use it as blackmail. Or it gets captured and put on a spam website.

  • I guess it's just interactive porn, so I wouldn't consider it cheating myself.
    I mean, it seems like a boring thing to masturbate to and it might fall into child porn, so I think you should just tell him there's actual porn on the internet to get him to stop.

    • He already had internet porn issues when he was younger so I don’t want to steer him there! Interactive with his girlfriend is one thing... with some rando he “met” on a gaming site is another...

  • He do you know he is masturbating?

    • How*

    • First of all I knocked on and then opened his door the other night... he was in bed with all the covers over him and looked “caught” and uncomfortable, but I chalked it up to whatever... teenage boy awkwardness... and didn’t think about it again until yesterday when I saw a text on his phone that said “wanna masturbate?” Then I checked his phone.

    • Well that sucks... well he's 15, I know masturbating with another girl is wrong, though I would at least talk to him about you catching him masturbating and it's okay to masturbate, but also tell him it isn't right to masturbate with another person outside his current relationship.

  • They both are producing and distributing child porn witch could land them both in prison for the next decade

  • Yeah that's not right... I'm in IT FaceTime would be blocked at my home the moment I found this out...

  • It depends how old he or she is if they're the same age is okay but if there is a 5 or 10 year age difference you need to call the cops immediately

  • Everyone has their own lessons to learn. He's gonna make mistakes.
    It's really up to you how you wanna handle it. I'm not sure there's a right or wrong answer here

  • Healthy and good solo fun.

  • It probably constitutes cheating. I would explain to him that it is considered cheating by most people. It is interacting with someone you are not dating in a sexual way.

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

  • What do the laws say in this situation where you live, explore that first.
    I know that there is some allowances if the age is the same or close in these situations in some places, but if you find it's breaking the law intervention is needed, or the law will come down on him.
    The girl friend thing is a moral matter between them and so I didn't comment on that aspect.

    • Local laws are not the only ones to consider. Federal laws come into play when dealing with people on the internet and across statelines.

    • @CharlieBadger Agreed all law that would affect this situation need to be considered.

  • Whatever happens happens. None of your biz dont get involved.

  • I've heard of a masturbation community that does that stuff all the time. It's like porn, just more involved. Don't worry about it too much :)

  • No this isn't healthy and it would break his heart if his current girlfriend found out. I consider this cheating as he is sharing an intimate part of his life with someone else unless he's previously talked with his current girlfriend about it and she approves. You have a valid concern about the online friend taping him, as that could be used as blackmail as well, unless he 10000% trusts his online friend.

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

  • I am 29 year old. I did it with the girl I loved. She lived in another country. Now I feel afraid of it too. It turned out she was just playing with me saying she loves me. Probably she recorded me.

    And to answer your question: yet it is cheating. He has a nice girlfriend, he should respect her. And you should care about both of them. She might be very young too.

    • Thanks for sharing your opinion. We’ve talked and he understands the multiple reasons this is a bad idea.

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My 15 year old son is masturbating with an online friend (who lives about 7 states away) on FaceTime. Is this a healthy situation?