Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I constantly cheat and then regret it?

There are times when, after a few weeks, and sometimes even months, of being faithful, I start craving cheating.

I haven't physically cheated on my current boyfriend, while we've been together for almost one year. However, I've had seasons when I sext and even arrange sexual meetings with men I know want to sleep with me. I usually pretend I'm drunk and text them telling them I'm secretly in love with them. Then I turn the conversation sexual, because I love the feeling of being wanted. I've even texted ex-boyfriends to ask them to have sex just so I can know I'm still desirable for them. Then, when I'm completely sure of what those men would do just to have me in their beds, I tell them I'm feeling guilty and can't sleep with them because of my boyfriend. The truth is, I do indeed start feeling guilty and regretful, because my boyfriend is such a lovely person.

In the past, I physically (sex) cheated in all my relationships, but as I've said, it hasn't gone further than chatting in the current one.

What can I do to stop doing this? It feels horrible because I'm condemned to feel guilty forever, as I'm very afraid and sure that if I tell my boyfriend, I will never get his trust back, and I will loose a lot of freedom because he will always be thinking I'll cheat on him if I travel or sleep at a friend's house.
0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • So, you've cheated on all your past bf's and you've already begun sexting with others to satisfy some neurotic compulsion you have to feel desired by men who are not your current partner. I think the real question here is why can't you be satisfied with your current love interest's desire? What is the reason you need someone out side of your relationship to validate your low self esteem? I mean obviously there is a self loathing issue you have not admitted to as yet. This is why you seek these men, so that your ego is stroked and eventually you get caught, the relationship crumble and your inner ego is yet again proven that you are undesirable. This fuels your need to repeatedly enter relationships where the same end result is inevitable. It is self destructible behavior that unfortunately has the added circumstance where you don't just hurt yourself but also hurt the man you cheated on.

    Seek counciilling for this as there is probably some unresolved emotional trauma you have to deal with before you can ever expect to have a positive relationship with anyone on an intimate level.

  • You cannot stop it..
    See I think, you have a cheating fetish,
    it's what you are..
    There are Zoophilic,
    Necrophilic people,
    Mommy-Daddy issue,

    Subconscious sexual development happens at age of 8-12,
    Find out how were you hardwired like that..
    Mommy-Daddy issue happens when between age 8-12 kid doesn't feel loved by either..

    Zoophilic and Necro happens in same way...
    I won't get in those detail..

    I want you to have a partner and Roleplay Cheating.
    And see how instantly it turns you on..
    Or how hard you Cum..
    If it's better..
    If the idea of cheating turns you on congrats..
    You got cheating fetish..
    People with this kind I would like to talk to you so I can understand this more and guide other people with this idea..

    • You got cheating fetish.. People with this kind of fetish* are* rare* I would like to talk to you...

    • You gave MHO... But you forgot other thing... That's people out there.. Just like you.. And they need help.. Figuring this out..

Most Helpful Girls

  • You'd think if you actually regretted and felt bad it wouldn't be hard to stop. I cheated on my boyfriend, felt like shit when I got caught and I regret and never did it again. That's the whole point of regret. Just don't get into relationships, clearly you aren't meant for them. Just stay single, sleep with as many guys as you want guilt free.

  • Well for you cause your addicted to the chase you need to tell him to case you! He can't get comfy your always needing a guy to desire and work for you. You want the attention. Coinciding is what I'm suggetsing

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 30

  • Wow, that is a complicated situation. I guess the main question is, why do you not want to cheat on this current boyfriend, when you didn't have much of a problem cheating on your previous boyfriends?

    While technically its wrong to arrange things with other guys, and sext and stuff like that, part of it serves you some sort of purpose in terms of making you feel more alive and wanted, and likely that excitement factor.

    Just as a side note, its also kind of a "dickish" move on your part to get these guys hopes up and then backing out at the last minute. That's rather cold, but I understand why you back out.

    I'd recommend that you try to speak to a therapist about what your underlying issues are that are causing you to seek out validation and attention from other guys when you are in a relationship, because addressing that issue will help you to change your behavior.

    Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about this.

  • You’re fucking gross, hope you never find happiness in your life until death. People like you are just bad examples and role models, causing pain and confusion to many parties involved. Your issue seems chronic and you don’t care about wasting other people’s time.

  • Open up your relationship. Look into practicing non-monogamy andand open relationships.

  • You didn’t actuallly cheat? Right?
    When we start judging others on their thoughts we are in a poor state, in my opinion.
    ‘It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home”...

  • Sounds like you're fucked in the head.

  • The idea, the thought, of cheating, (depending on who you ask) count as cheating. However the need of being wanted is nice, but being in a relationship, is extremely challenging. Why don't you too play. Talk to each other on the phone like you would do the other guys. You or him get a hotel room, be creative, and have fun.

  • Asucela = Bachelorette for life

  • Let me start by saying; good on you, for recognizing that this is a huge huge huge problem in your life that needs to be resolved. Also, good on you for not stepping out on this current boyfriend.

    Now, onto the answer to your question. You need a few different pieces of information, before you can properly solve the problem: 1, you have to know why you need constant validation from other men, because the source of that issue is going to haunt your life as long as you let it; 2, you have to know why you have so much difficulty respecting your partners; and 3, you have to figure out why you keep putting yourself in situations where the possibility of cheating is present.

    I would start by reading a book called "Core Issues." It was written by a clinical psychologist who provides a really rigorous analysis of the origin of personal traumas in life, and then explains the psychological structures that allow those traumas to repeat themselves in someone's life.

  • What can you do? Ugh... How about you stop cheating when you're in a relationship. Or break up with your boyfriend if you love being a ho so much.

  • Can't cheat if you never get into a relationship. If ya gonna be hoe might as well do it right with no strings attached

  • I COMPLETELY understand. I was in a similar predicament. I LONG to be loved. I want a Girlfriend. I've found a few Women in the past who made me feel VERY special... for the price of money. I've lost thousands because of it. I never met any of them, we only shared pictures and videos and romantic texts. I regret it all. To stop it all, I think you need more reliability on your boyfriend! Ask Him to do things for you! Let Him know that you don't feel extremely special... It's HIS job as your boyfriend to pamper you and make you feel like the Queen you are!

  • Damn. 😶

  • Shut the fuck up you dumb whore. I know people will hate me for this, but look at you! Pretending to need help, asking the internet 'what can I do' BITCH IT'S YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE FREE WILL DO YOU NOT? Make a fucking decision to not do things you SAY you don't wanna do. What the fuck are you here writing about it for? Are you really looking to have strangers on the internet indulge your insanity?

    "What can I do" you can fucking slap yourself across the face and call that a start. Your just a selfish piece of shit, and there's no low that you won't stoop to, and I despise people like you. Even in this supposed 'remorseful' state, you are playing victim, complaining about what will happen to you, what you are worried about happening, and look at what you have done. You have realized your partner's worst fears through your actions and you ask us what you can do. It's more like what can you not do, so go ahead and STOP DOING THE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT YOU DO

  • According to your description, I believe your mind will take care of things..

    • What do you mean? My mind will prevent me from cheating just for a few months, then I'll start it again until I regret it.

    • Your mind will begin to implode upon itself..

  • Damn you're hot,

    do you do it coz you want to show how horny you are or is it coz you have a fetish for it?
    Or is it something you wish to display your looks for attention?

  • I think the key comment you said was... 'because I love the feeling of being wanted'. Make sure you communicate with your boy friend how you feel and what he can do to make you feel that way. You won't be tempted to find that feeling elsewhere. (btw, that feeling is pretty normal but it is a choice to act on it.)

  • why don't you just STOP cheating? it's easy to say "no"

  • Give the keys to your husband.

    I constantly cheat and then regret it?

  • What makes you cheat usually? Unfaithful nature, sex addict, your so ignore you,?

  • Find a guy who is into open relationships, like me, I think he would love it

  • Show More (10)

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