How do you tell your boyfriend about your kinks?

Question

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now.. but during the last months I’ve had this obsession with rape.. I am very much in love with ted bundy.. his crimes turns me on and I’m pretty sick in the head.. how the hell do I tell my boyfriend the full extent without freaking him out

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Well, I would say that your best bet might be to introduce him slowly to gauge his reaction..
So It REALLY depends on so much. What kind of person is he? How close are you generally? What kind of sex does he seem to like and his values around sex generally? In other words, how 'far apart' from your fantasy is the general level of kink in the sex you and he are having. So I mean, if you guys are close, and he's generally emotionally supportive, then he is going to be on this too. If you guys are close but not CLOSE in how comfortable you are talking about 'difficult' topics (not necessarily sexual).

It also depends on what your boyfriend thinks of you in terms of what he thinks you are likely to be into. So if you're openly living with any 'sick puppy' tendencies on display, then... you already kiinda know he won't freak-out. If he thinks you're miss goody clean-mind then; the conversation will be harder initially, but... he might surprise you.

I'm probably more anti-rape than any guy you'll ever meet. I am vocally and aggressively anti-rape. But within the context of a consensual relationship... Absolutely! :)

My answer would surprise anyone who had dated me for 3 years... if I had assumed that was not something she'd be into. So if he would be shocked. Maybe you will be too.

BUT I wouldn't want my girlfriend to have something she really wanted to try but was afraid to bring up. I'm very open-minded, but there are certainly some things that I would have to say "no" to if my girlfriend happened to have them as her 'thing.' Even if I did just have to go "sorry I juuuuust can't" after my girlfriend had opened up like that... EVEN if it were pretty crazy... I might have some questions, to help me understand a bit better. But... sex is weird... people are into some weird shit.

So If I were you... I would either start by telling him about the rape fantasy straight out. OR slowly introduce some lighter elements of bondage and domination, and see how open he seems. You are honestly better to just tell him the rape fantasy and take the plunge. If you go slower... he might not know how far HE can go... and be all awkward about it... when if you just put your cards on the table, he'd not "worry" about what YOU might think of HIM if he let loose uninhibited (In my opinion... but keep in mind...)
In today's internet porn-saturated world... Everyone's a sick puppy... I think you'll be ok...

Oh, and maybe leave the Ted Bundy (other killer/death stuff) part till you know he's down with the rape. He might have questions about that killer/death part. ;) :)

thunderbolt5 · Accepted Answer

I have a fantasy that I want to give the girl I will sleep with her all the pleasure in the world. I well let her ride my dick and control her orgasm and i will lick her nipple and during her cum i will hug her and let her feel safe and secure during her cum and there is many thing that i want to pleasure the woman with. I love women and i love sex and i can have sex in any time according to her desire. I'm full of passion and love and nothing better in the world than feeling that there is a partner who care for your sexual desires and love you. That what I really like I think

QueenTanya · Accepted Answer

you do realize ted bundy murdered, raped, drowned, decapitated women and little children? he was mentally unstable and kept body parts and the heads of his victims. you're disgusting if you like him. that electric chair did him well

IamStag · Answer

We had an adult boardgame called Monogamy. Seek it out :) It really helps you to open up any weird discussion.

Poppymarie · Answer

Girl I might keep this to yourself 😂

SjE78 · Answer

should just sit down with him and discuss them, make it something to discuss on what they like about it too and see if they would try what you like and you try what they do

reptocarl · Answer

You tell him directly your needs and if he can’t meet them then you’re not sexually compatible and have a decision

bobohard · Answer

Do you to fulfill that with your boyfriend or a stranger

Pejtu · Answer

Tell him u got a rape fantasy and arrange that somehow  My ex did like it rough  And we arranged her rape fantasy  She said after that :  Okay never again

napoleonebonaparte · Answer

I totally understand you... because of my werid passion for women's bladder... I love everything has to do with that, from seeing you holding desperately to wetting yourself... and it is really really hard to confess it to your partner, because she or he in your case can be digusted by it... but let me say that if he loves you, will love you even thouh you like strange things... it happened to me, and my wife is still with me :)

gym4ever · Answer

Just tell him

H3LLBRING3R · Answer

Like this: “hey babe, I like spanking. Spank me pls”

Tonythecreator · Answer

What do you like about Ted Bundy?

Yellovv · Answer

Don't tell, you can start to do it in during sex, after will happen.

The_man_whol_aughs · Answer

And you wonder why women are not taken seriously?

davidlemingway · Answer

Sometimes it's just best to be honest about it so you can release this burden. Don't go too heavy on it at first, ease his way into the idea and give him more details over a longer period of time so you can judge his reaction to the thought of it. That way you can monitor his feelings and have the best chance of knowing where his line may be. Start with a bit of dominance, then some bdsm and see if he likes it. The full extent can come in time if you feel he is ready.