Is watching porn while you are in a relationship cheating (in your opinion)?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I never thought about this, but I just saw a TikTok meme about it and I knew right away I had to see what others thought.

I’ve never been in a long term relationship so I feel like, for me, my opinion would depend on that. Personally, I’ve been watching porn since I was around 6. I know that’s crazy, but I had family friends (around my age) who had older brothers. They introduced me. Anyways, I don’t think I would mind (especially if we weren’t living together or anything). I wouldn’t want them to expect me to be available for sexting or whatever whenever they were horny, and I wouldn’t have that expectation for them either. If we were married and or living together and they chose to use porn instead of trying with me, I’d probably be like why? If I didn’t want to get it on I guess I’d say to do what they got to, I don’t think it would bother me along the lines of jealousy which is why most women don’t like when their S/O watch porn.

I don’t know, what do you guys think and if you have experience in this or with this problem in a relationship, how did it go?

[lightbulb27]

There is such a thing as emotional cheating. Porn has been shown to cause a variety of issues.. obviously it can be an addiction, it can cause problems with actually having sex with a real person, and the fantasy part of it is mental cheating. So I say yes.

Wow...6... I'm very curious to find out how that has impacted you., but you may not know. Are you saying they didn't molest you, but they did have it on screen and you saw it and or/them doing stuff?

that's seriously child abuse... because the child isn't developed to process that yet.

Is any of this attributes of your current you?
An unwillingness to take risks, assumption of blame for every failure, becoming a classic "underachiever", inability to get anything done or to set goals, resistance to new challenges, being rigidly moralistic, someone else must always tell how to get started, fear of rocking the boat, constantly feeling guilty or feeling the need to try harder, constant procrastination, fear of disapproval failure ridicule or rejection, unwillingness to take on a leadership role, needing others to tell us how we feel, constant apologizing, perfectionism.

I'm curious...

[Asker]

The other person was a kid as well, my friend. I used to call him my cousin but I didn’t here because I didn’t want to make it sound weirder than it is. We weren’t actually related. Anyways, you could say some sexual assault occurred also, but I don’t think the other kid knew what he was doing was damaging to me then. I’m sure I have some sort of attributes that have stemmed from it, but how would I really truly know? I’ve never sought professional help for it.

[lightbulb27]

I had something like that, things can be trauma or not. The real question is where are you at and where do you want to be. You'll know it based upon how you respond to the world in terms of relating to other people, family relationships, friends, espexially boyfriends and what kids of dysfunctions you experience including at work. Examples would be, fear of conflict, manipulating, there are all sorts.. and becomes question of what needs to change for you to be successful and healthy. We all get to a point of "I'm done growing" and stable around your age. next task is find mate and reproduce (whether you logically want that or not, that's the biology). I listed some behavioral issues above which are correlated to development between 4-7yrs old. look up erickson/clark developmental stages to see others. That likely isn't the only trauma. porn (sex) is a drug, and you've had it all your life so it seems normal to you. your frame of normal is that. But... it really isn't. I had my sexual abuse like yours, but mild at young age. I can tie it to setting off dysfunction which lead to lots of other issues. You just take control once you discover an issue, and own correcting it within yourself. you can only control yourself. but if you suspect other girls are being abused, I would raise this issue up to other adults and expose it... who knows the trail of damage?

[Purpleronnie]

I wouldn’t consider watching porn cheating by definition. But if you know your partner would have issue with you watching porn for whatever reason then I understand why some might see it as similar. I have no doubt that most of us have sexual desires and fantasies beyond our partners , it doesn’t mean that when we think about them we are cheating though. Porn used like that can be a healthy part of any sex life for couples and singles where the line should be drawn is when it has a negative effect on the relationship or the person , for example choosing to watch it over intimacy. I have no issue with my g/f rubbing one out to porn , hell we may even do it together , but that’s not every relationship. We are all allowed to be different.

[MissKittyz]

The word "cheating" is very general though. Everyone has their own definition of it since not everyone considers the same thing as cheating. For example, monogamous couples could say that if their partner had sex with another person, that's cheating. While in an open relationship, they don't see it as cheating since they both agreed to it.

I personally do NOT believe that watching porn is watching and my partner agrees with this too so that means, in MY relationship, watching porn isn't cheating. I don't think it is cheating because it is a fantasy. It is the same thing as reading a book or having dreams. It isn't real. It is literally a bunch of strangers (that you will never meet) having sex with each other in front of a camera. I don't see it as a big deal. My partner is still 100% attracted to me. But sometimes, he isn't there to satisfy my needs cause of work. And I'm not there either so porn can help with that lol

[Bootylicious905]

Fantasies lead to action. Action leads to cheating or affair if married. Porn normalizes that.

[Bootylicious905]

Watch it together if u want it. Use sex toys together not alone.

[morimeme1]

I don't think it's cheating and neither does my partner, I watch it sometimes and we have also watched together, but it's not really his thing. I think watching porn is fine but if it is done on a regular basis then I would raise concerns regarding why would you feel compelled to do that unless something is unsatisfactory in the relationhip.

[AustinMan]

Pretty lady. No.

Why Men Watch Porn ↗

[SimpleRhubarb]

It’s not cheating unless it’s a. constant watching and b. affects their view of their partner. I’d always prefer my partner come to me first.

[MrNameless]

define constant watching? If he has an addiction and witholding sex from you due to the addiction, it's a problem. But its not cheating unless he has an emotional connection (actually reached out and has something) with the pronstar

[SimpleRhubarb]

Watching it at least once a day and choosing to watch porn over talking to his partner

[Love2Jackit]

No it's not cheating if watch porn. Why would it be all ur doing is looking at male/females having sex. Hows that cheating u can't a std from watching. Along with u can't get nobody pregnant. Only haters consider watching porn. Reason being if they don't like it. Then u shouldn't neither. Get over it had u rather them watch porn. Worst go have sex with someone else.

[Randomawkwardness]

I personally don't watch porn but I know people have their specific kinks. How am I supposed to make someone happy who is bi? One who likes to get chained up and whipped? It's not my thing at all and if they go to porn then they go to porn. It's become pretty common

[Daniela1982]

Depends on where your mind is while you are watching it. If you are imagining yourself having sex with them you are cheating, even if it is only mental. "If you look after a woman to lust after her you are already committing adultery with her in your heart." Matthew 5:28 God calls it cheating and His opinion is the only one that counts.

[Lliam]

I think your attitude is 100% correct.

[MrNameless]

No, it isn't. You have no personal relationship with some random pornstar you get off to on pornhub. It's just some fantasy on a with no direct interaction. No emotional or physical connection with them. It's a tad step up above from masturbating with your imagination

[sherora]

My x husbamd never wanted to have sex. I watched porn and took care of myself. I don't think that's cheating. On the other hand, he would watch porn even though I was ready, willing and able. That is... also not cheating but might as well be.

[Bootylicious905]

You see it cuts off relationship. It makes a women desire 6 pack ab guy rather then her man.

[sherora]

I think you misunderstood. I did not prefer porn over my x husband. If he had wanted to be intimate, we would still be married (maybe) and I wouldn't have had a need for porn. He was the one that watched porn and did not want to be intimate with me.

[IamStag]

not cheating. sometimes we watch together with my wife.

[SarahsSummer]

No more than watching porn with your partner would be considered having a threesome

[ObscuredBeyond]

While not as blood poison deadly as heroin, porn has been shown to damage the brain similarly. So even if you don't feel cheated on by mere images, that doesn't mean it's a healthy way to cope with urges. And if he feels the need for sexting, or pursues a relationship with you purely for sex, then he needs help. But those are all from an unhealthy attitude to begin with. The urge for sex shouldn't be that strong. To say nothing of porn leading to unrealistic expectations. Or how softcore can be a gateway to disturbed fantasies, like snuff/gore/vore.

None of this is healthy or productive. However, someone with out of control urges may feel a need to cheat. To sample as many fantasies as possible.

That is why so many women instinctively view porn as cheating. That, and parents conditioning them to see male porn addicts as serial killers. Which can happen, but he'll more likely wind up in jail for trying to pick up a prostitute than for mass murder.

[summiter]

I don't think it is cheating. As long as either person does not over do it or let it get in the way of their sex lives.

[Apple1996]

No definitely not. Nothing wrong with watching other people have sex. I dont see how it would even be cheating unless they had sex/made porn with another person other then their SO

[Stan83]

Nope, at all.

[Tamera952]

This one always comes round again.
Officially: No. the End

[Peuples_Francs]

Cheating means to engage in a sexual relationship whilst simultaneously already being in a relationship and keeping it hidden.

Watching pornography isn't cheating.

[AudreyB88]

I don't consider watching porn as cheating.
It would be an issue if it was affecting the relationship and sex life, or if he expected me to look like a porn star.
I shall not be dealing with someone addicted to porn either.

[marshmallow_sweet]

Awesome points made

[SydneySentinel]

No, I don't think it's cheating. However, if you're choosing porn over time/intimacy etc with your partner, that's indicative of a problem.

[YellLow]

If i find out he jacks off being with me in a relationship i wouldn't feel he cheated, id just feel very sad, upset and dissapointed by him and by myself.

[Leo_Zeedash]

Jerking off is a human need and right

[LuneWayah]

The feeling of your significant other differs depending on who you're with. I am ok with my boyfriend watching porn. It's a guy thing and it's not like he's f*cking anyone. I say if you want to watch porn in a relationship then talk to your partner about it.