How long would you be psychologically comfortable waiting for sex, if you were very much in love with someone?

Question

I ask about psychology, bc I think ultimately this is what it comes down to... anyone can jerk off for physical release. Sex has a psychological impact that going solo does not. As well as the doubt that waiting seems to cause people. Especially when in love.

doubting they are desirable
doubting they are cared for
doubting their partner has an actual drive
doubting compatibility - sex life will ever be good

Im going to leave the “physical need”alone Bc I don’t believe sex is a physical need. Physical contact and affection and release - definitely.. but all this can be accomplished easily without intercourse. If you don’t agree that is fine, there are many other posts dealing with the physical demands of lust. This just is not one of them. 😊.

Likewise, I am not including relationship status.. People can be in love and have desire and feel close whether they are in a relationship or not. Not everyone wants a relationship. To me the more significant the significant thing is being in love, not being in a relationship. But of course the question very easily involves being in a relationship, if you are in love. .. So if you would never have sex - in love or not - outside of a relationship, you can still answer the question all the same. count from when you fell in love. Not from when you met or Bryan dating.

So, psychologically, how long after falling in love , do you think you would be comfortable waiting for sex?

While I would love to hear you expand on your answer below, please don’t forget to vote.

Thank You 🌟

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

My answer falls somewhere between "a year" and indefinitely. I can certainly wait a year, and quite possibly even two years. I might even make it to 2 and a half if I try hard enough. But "indefinitely" is a no-go. I would have to know that it (marriage, in my case) was going to happen at least sometime, so I would have something to look forward to; otherwise the whole thing is futile. Not to sound crude, but I do very much believe that sex should be part of a romantic relationship (again, after marriage, in my case), so there would really be no point for me to even date someone if they were asexual. If I like someone, I would certainly respect their boundaries, but I would still have a desire to "hit that" eventually. Just being honest.

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

While sex and masturbation are means of physical release and all that, I have always believed that the thought of having sex shouldn't be such a guilty one and therefore it's not the case for me anymore.
You specified that it's someone I'm very much in love with, well by the time I'm "very much in love" the desire for sex would be at a peak, along with the rest of the emotions of course.
If it were up to me and go for the sex on the spot. But it's rarely ever up to one party. And if she wants to wait then obviously I'll wait but every day I wait is a day too many for me, still better then to talk her into it when she's not yet ready and end up with a terrible experience.

SydneySentinel · Accepted Answer

With my first love, we waited nearly a year. That was really hard to do but we were both young and both virgins.
I can't put a specific amount of time on how long I need, but I have to have trust there. Also, you said if I was in love with someone-- if I'm in love with someone and he is in love with me-- and we are in a relationship, I want to have sex with that person. I'm ready. I don't mind waiting, although it would feel quite straining (given that we are in love). I chose 6 months because indefinitely seems forever.

Sweetnessxoxo · Accepted Answer

I think i could wait for like at least a year or more but knowing how guys are I don’t know if they would want to wait that long that’s why i was thinking about that 5 months thing since I don’t want that person to think that i am pushing them away. I’ve lived 18 years and i have never had sex and i’ve been fine so I don’t really expect it.

summiter · Answer

Maybe a month but I would have to masturbate frequently before we start having sex.

JackSmy · Answer

However long it takes for us to feel close enough, dating, and sharing interests, liking each other, and feeling comfortable together. Sometimes just cuddling on the couch and watching movies together, can be more intimate, and more emotionally and psychologically fulfilling that having sex.
I think too many rush in, too fast, without knowing the other well enough, and really caring for the person, rather than the sexual act, and brief passion.

Apple1996 · Answer

At most a month. Sex is very important to me

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I mean, if I really loved, trusted, thought she was the one for me, and other specifics I can explain then I’d wait however long she wanted to wait. Keep in mind, men can and are ready to have sex day one. Although, I wouldn’t say “indefinitely,” I can wait a long time. I don’t know which to mark on the poll.

TremorJay · Answer

The key word for me is comfortable, it's gets uncomfy at one month. Capable is a different word

Jjpayne · Answer

As long as she needed but I'd sure like affection soon after girlfriend/boyfriend status

ShortCircuit · Answer

A few years.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i've waited 3 weeks before. but i was in a thing where it was 1 year and never had sex. i think i ended it because she wanted to

just_a_potato · Answer

If I'm really that in love with them i'll wait as long as I have to if I get to do them

Avicenna · Answer

A few days at most

Dargil · Answer

F. I would want sexual intimacy to progress in its time (fairly soon) through mutual oral sex. Intercourse could wait indefinitely.

SpiritBear · Answer

3 months, because sex isn’t everything, but gosh darn do I wish I could have some. 😣

AmtgardJean · Answer

I have been in a relationship with someone who is very sick. I have gone 4 years without sex. Caveat I am not psychologically comfortable about it. But I do love her and I don't believe in cheating.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I don't know. At what point do you break psychologically? What is that like?

KatherineJ · Answer

I waited six months and then I couldn’t take it anymore.

Desconhecida · Answer

We can go crazy and even give in to it if there's only lust involved. When there's love, people can wait even until marriage for the company of the other would be enough already

Grond21 · Answer

Until I get married. However long that is

loveslongnails · Answer

I can't really answer your question because I don't even use the term "falling in love" any longer. I consider it a misnomer. I believe you love someone, or you don't. Most people "fall in lust" quite often, even on a daily basis. :)