Were you traumatized by something sexual? Did it turn you into a better or worse person as you got older?

Question

Like i had to hear my mom having sex as a kid. She would try to send us to our grandmas house but i chose to stay behind in hopes i’d cockblock. It didn't work. She still did it and i cried every night because I was that kid who didn't want anyone touching their mom. I literally had crazy tendencies that i won't speak of but I really wanted him to stay away from my mom. Luckily i didn't have to go through with any of them because my grandma was crazy for the both of us. But hey, im a better person now 😂 well not really because I always hoped my mom would catch me having sex so that she could cry like i did. Its crazy because my ex peer pressured me into having sex, public sex at that... and then it became my fetish. We got caught by everyone but her. And no matter how many people ran back to tell her, she’d go hard for me 😂 MY DAUGHTER WOULD NEVER! HOW DARE YOU LIE ON HER! Even her boyfriend at the time caught me a lot and she didn't even believe him. I loved it. I really wanted her to find out but til this day, she thinks i had sex for the first time in January 2018. But crazy thing is, i didn't even sex until August 2018 (8 years later). Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. #FeelFreeToList #TheDesiiDiaries #FeelFreeToFantasize #DirtyDesii

Dargil · Accepted Answer

I may have posted this content for you before.
What if something happens that is intensive but not traumatic? What if it's somehow empowering, affirms you and creates appetites that are distinct, but harmless and add to the enjoyment of life? I have had this and he helped hard wired-my male heterosexuality when home conditions could have made me waver toward the dark side.

In the fifth and sixth grades. I used to go over to a gal pal's and we used to walk around naked and play, everything from board games to "doctor". We were totally ignorant about sex and were not knowingly sexually intimate. But we did explore each others' bodies, including private parts, with hands and eyes to great detail. We liked to watch each other pee and play with each others "things" during it. I found this very exciting although I had no idea why except that it was naughty.

When we came back from summer to sixth, things had changed. Both of us had grown the first fuzz of pubic hair and I noticed that her chest had become... puffy. I just thought she had gained weight. When we did the same sorts of things we had done the previous year, I sometimes got a cute little boner but, still completely ignorant about sex, we both thought i just had to pee.

When sexuality arrived in my teens, there was no mystery to a girl's body. I knew where everything was and what it looked like already. Now I was learning the "why". Not only did I want to be with girls... I also secretly also wanted to watch them pee, but that would have to wait for several years.

RickPen · Accepted Answer

My grandmother would play with and suck my penis from age 2 to 6. Some of my earliest memories. The last time I remember was at age 6, and I'd hit my head, had a concussion. I needed a few stitches in my head. She refused to take me to the hospital, but took me into the hospital and sucked on me to see if I was "OK." Sad part was the family supported her, despite saying it was wrong. She'd done the same to her children as well, so it was normalized for them. Gave me nightmares for many years.
At age 10, a school principal took an interest in me, and would grope me through the pants. It happened four times until my parents found out and threatened him. Never went to jail for what he did to me.

At 16, had a forty-something teacher groping/climbing on me a couple times at school. Reported it, it was publicly denied, and she was asked to leave quietly when another student came forward. Never prosecuted.

At age 19, I was hanging out, drinking with who I thought was a friend. She wasn't drinking, and slipped something in my drink. I woke up with her on top of me. Threw her off me, staggered out of her room and passed out again. She did that to a few other guys. I reported it, and was laughed out of the police station. I was told that a girl can't rape a guy. Stupid people.

I've had a whole lot of bad things happen in life. Just gotta keep on keeping on, and realize there is no justice. Ever.

JiminsHoe · Accepted Answer

I went to a youtuber's house for a party when I was in LA with two of my best friends. My best friends like to sleep around, but I don't at all, so I was just trying to make conversation with a guy on the couch who was from the Dominican Republic, since I speak Spanish. He was very friendly seeming, and had me take shots with him. The alcohol was actually drugged because it took 3 shots for me to start losing some of my vision, when it takes me 10-15 usually as a heavy weight. He then put his fingers in places I didn't want them and was kissing me and it made me kind of fear any male's touch for a while. This kind of stuff is so frequent, especially in college.

CHARismatic110 · Accepted Answer

I was traumatized from being touched by an older cousin when I was 7 years old. He was like 14. It was to the point that I hated even going to my aunt's house because I knew eventually he was going to find a way to get me alone and put his hands down my pants or something. It made me resent me my dad because I felt like he should've saved me. Which I know is dumb because he didn't know. And it set me up for failure with guys and inappropriate touching for years to come. It also made me super uncomfortable with sex for a long time.

FurryKisses · Answer

Yuck well not for me but I was that girl also who would cockblock. till I understood she needed to have fun also. I think the worst I do is vore roleplay sometimes.

Lliam · Answer

Wow. That's an interesting story.
The only trauma I suffered was my mom walking through closed bathroom or bedroom doors without knocking while I was masturbating. I'd have to cover up real fast, but she knew what I was doing. She was a real ass hole when it came to entering rooms without knocking and then acting innocent about it.
When it came to sex, I only had a vague idea of the mechanics of it until my first time with a (non-virgin) 15 year old when I was 16. I had seen pictures of naked women but had no idea what a vagina was like. I just knew that the penis was supposed to go in some kind of hole. Imagine my delight when I found out how soft and gooey and squishy that girl stuff is.

Bribree18 · Answer

I was very sexually aware at a young age. I have a memory of dreams I used to have when I was young. Like four. I began, pleasuring myself incredibly young too. This made me feel alone because I didn't know of any other child going through the same feelings and emotions. Plus my parents would scold me when I was caught doing it so I felt so dirty and wrong for it. Then we fast forward a few years and I am around 6. I had a best friend around my age, a year or two older, and he introduced me to porn. He had an older brother so that is how he was exposed to it. Anyways, this would eventually lead to me getting caught more often, but now with porn. I was always in trouble for this kind of thing. As our friendship continued, he used to pressure me into doing sexual things with him and even having sex when I was around 10. My parents divorced when I was young and I had to move to a new town and a new school. I was slightly overweight as a child and wasn't super popular so because of this, I valued my best friend over anything in the world. I likely was also attached to him due to the sexual aspects as well. So as he would manipulate me he would tell me to do things or he would no longer be my friend, etc. He also never allowed me to grow confidence because he made sure I knew how ugly I was and such. I did not have sex with him, THANK GOD, and things eventually got better once our parents no longer allowed us to have sleepovers and such. I was so upset. They didn't know of our situation of course, but they just thought we were too old to be having sleepovers. I imagine the situation with him led to far more trauma than I even know. I am definitely more accepting of sex and masturbating as well as my kinks than other women, so I am grateful for that, but overall I dealt with self-confidence issues all my life, as well as commitment issues.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have had some bad experiences but never any sexual traumas.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you've taken some trauma, and would be good to get some therapy, but I doubt you see it. I'm sorry to hear that, there's reasons you reacted like that and strikes me as normal, but not sure.

Yes I was, I can't say it made me better, it made me what it makes everyone... confused, resulted in a distorted life. It did make me better in that I can relate to other people much better and how traumatic such abuse is. Something close to 100% of females who become prostitutes were sexually abused. High correlation to all sorts of disorders and "errant" behaviors. This generation has really taken some blows and they don't know it.

SarahsSummer · Answer

I don’t think any traumatic experience sexual or not makes you a better person, getting help or therapy after a traumatic experience may though.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

It happened, and it gave me a lot of issues with sex and intimacy.  That's why I'm seeing a therapist and my fiancée has to be careful in certain situations.

Jjpayne · Answer

Seeing cinemax late night as a kid... Worst that it did was made me a little less innocent back then... But other than that I was ok. But I did have a period where I was not attracted to any gender and I freaked out and starting reading a bunch of sexual teen mags and at some point it kicked in :) hearing your parents have sex is kinda interesting though... Glad it was not a bad experience for you

SydneySentinel · Answer

Yes and it messed me up. I wouldn't let anyone touch me for a long time.

WhiteShoulder · Answer

I was. Really fucked me up.

R_ūshī · Answer

Yup, I was but it has been fixed now

Hans222 · Answer

So far never Desi. Well maybe when I have a crush and she looks away but that's a few steps before the sex...

ManOnFire · Answer

Mmmmmm no, I can't say I was ever traumatized by anything in particular, even when I was a kid and saw my mom naked in bed with her old boyfriend. But I think when I was a teen and I heard my neighbor having sex through the wall that it kind of introduced me to the reality of sex, in a sense. But I can't say that traumatized me, since at that time I was already a horny mess anyway and was wanting sex myself.

foxrider77 · Answer

8 months later

Lemia · Answer

Not sure How to answer this

Jonathanlama · Answer

Yes i think but i don't know if we can consider that sexual🤷

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah twice. One just made me paranoid, the other one nearly made me choke on a chunk of lead.

Shiver · Answer

The first time a woman scratched my back during sex, like dug her nails into my back and dragged so hard I started bleeding, I was initially a bit shocked. Now having my back being scratched hard during sex is probably the closest to a fetish I have. Lol