Is this even remotely okay?

[Anonymous]

So my mom saw a hickey on my neck and i lied and said my friend gave it to me as a joke but she went through my phone and i ended up admitting a month ago i snuck out and lost my virginity to a guy and then the night before she saw the hickey a different guy came over. she took my phone and i can’t go anywhere. that’s reasonable i guess.

but she TOOK MY FUCKING DOOR OFF. because i had sex. she’s like “i told u to tell me before doing anything like that” like do you fucking blame me for NOT TELLING HER? she called me promiscuous and i said that’s the exact same thing as a slut, she said it wasn’t, literally guys look up the definition. it’s the same thing just a fancier word.

i don’t cry. but she made me cry so hard by screaming at me and shit that i got a headache and the headache was so severe i nearly threw up. sorry but personally? i don’t think that’s ok. borderline abuse.

im the one being punished so ofc im gonna protest but let’s be realistic, is this teaching me anything other than that i can’t trust her? nope. it’s not ok to treat ur child like that. because i’m sexually active? really? that’s fucking stupid. i get it im her baby and she’s just looking out for me but it’s fucking extreme. tell me what y’all think.

[Dchrls78104]

Have you considered:
1. What would happen if you got pregnant?
2. His age in relation to yours? If he's over 18, you could land him in jail just for being with you!
3. That your expressed language might have been a factor in your mom's severity in dealing with you?
4. Whether he really loved you or not, before starting to have sex?

[Asker]

yes i have considered all of that. it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant as bc i used VCF and a condom. he’s not over 18. i didn’t cuss or anything around her. and no neither guy loved me but i was just looking for sex anyways

[Swimmerdude2013]

Well she's just looking out for you so you don't make the wrong decision and get knocked up. Also don't lie to your mom, never works out; she will always find the truth.

Also how old are you? That could be a reason she took your phone and the door off because you lied to her.

Hold old was the guy you had sex with?

[Asker]

i’m 14. they are both 17. it seems like a huge difference i get that. and i know lying is wrong but honestly do you blame me? i’m not saying it was okay im just saying I don't know who the hell would expect me to tell the truth when she reacts like this

[Swimmerdude2013]

That's why she did it, because you are 14. Actually it is a huge difference: if your parents were to press charges against him; he would he 100% screwed

[Asker]

i feel bad lol i never even thought about that! thank u for telling me. i deleted his number and stuff so she couldn’t track him down

[Swimmerdude2013]

That's good. Yes, since you are a minor your parents could potentially press charges. Also google what they would be charged with.

[Bad_Man55]

She felt her trust in you was betrayed therefore she went to extreme measures to punish you. I would not consider it abuse either. It sucks I'm sure but the parent child dynamic is not meant to be equal it's her rules

[danman27]

How old are you? She may think you're too young.

[Asker]

14. i am too young, im aware. and i do feel bad. i understand she’s upset especially because as a mother and as her daughter she feels that any guy i have sex with at this age is using me. a lot of parents feel that with their children especially daughters. but taking my fucking door off?

[danman27]

It's extreme, but I bet it stops you having sex there?

[Asker]

not necessarily. i could totally if i wanted to just i feel like a piece of shit now cuz how she talks to me

[Gatman34]

Why didn't you delete your messages thats your fault live and learn. She is your mom and just doesn’t want you to become a whore bag

[MackToday]

What is your age?

[Asker]

14. and don’t be like WELL ITS CUZ UR SO DAMN YOUNG, i get that. i understand that. but taking my door off? and she knows i get paranoid people are watching me and shit all the time so does she really think taking my bedroom door off is gonna help? i refuse to sleep in my own room now

[MackToday]

I feel sorry for your mother.

[Asker]

i feel sorry for yours:/

[MackToday]

Id din't make mine suffer like you did.

[Asker]

trust me she’s not suffering at all. she makes me always feel like a piece of shit for the littlest shit. she got drunk once and said my self harm scars weren’t deep enough. don’t ever say i’m the reason she acts like this, parasite.

[MackToday]

Small wonder you're where you are then. I couldn't care less if someone put a bullet through her head in that case.