At what age should girls be allowed to dress in less conservative styles?

Question

Ok, here is why I am asking.

My little sister, Missy, is way younger than me, and even my middle sister, Crystal.

At like 10-11 years old, (she is 17 now), she started wanting to dress more like her older sisters.

So what do parents do when their elementary/middle school child is wanting to do things like wearing nylons and mini-skirts, low cut tops, high heels, etc, etc, etc, to look more like her older sisters or other girls in higher grades?

And so far we have only discussed outerwear, but what about underwear? ... should the same rules apply for underwear as it is for outerwear in terms of what styles, at what age, like thongs, boy shorts, padded bras, etc, etc?

It seems since underwear can not be seen so than why does that matter so much? ... like what hill do you want to die on as a parent?

What line did your parents draw for you not to cross on this matter?

How old were you when you started dressing more like an older teen with outerwear and was it a different age for underwear?

Guys, what do you think about the age girls should be able to dress less conservatively should be?

Don't be shy... share your views on this sensitive, personal, subject... PLEASE!

At what age should girls be allowed to dress in less conservative styles?

Hannahm67 · Accepted Answer

My parents were incredibly understanding to me and made sure I knew I could talk about anything with them. I could ask them anything and they always gave me advice based on their life's we no sugar coating and I think it really helped me.
I started to want to dress more adult around 12-13 and the first thing I got was a thong that I bought myself shopping with my friend and I tried to hide it from my parents but they found it when I stupidly put it in the dirty clothes. Instead of being mad my mom sat me down and joked about her wearing them and the one I picked looking cute and if she could barrow them and it made me feel really comfortable. She then took me shopping and helped me pick out some more grown up clothes.

My parents had only two rules for clothes I had to comply with the school dress code when at school and I had to dress more conservative when visiting family. My mom was a big believer in freeing the nipple and basically never wore a bra and because my breasts have never grown very large I didn't get a bra until I was like 17 and it was just a sports bra for working out.

Because of how I was raised I never felt the need to rebel and dress super slutty to get back at them I mean I even stayed a virgin until I was 21 even though my parents were always supportive and told me they would buy me protection If I asked and give me advice for my first time. I wore skirts and dresses and shorts but I never felt the need to get super short ones I also never really wore tank tops and stuck to tee shirts and sweaters depending on the weather. Because of the style of the time I wore my Ugg boots with everything I think I only had like one pair of others shoes at the time that were only used for gym class because my Uggs were my heels, flats, tennis shoes and boots, that was an interesting time lol and then in the winter I wore a north face jacket with everything. We should all go back to that style it was way more comfy lol.

I say to parents never force advice onto a tween/teen. What you have to do is get them talking and tell you something and then if you want to push them in a direction then tell them a story of a similar thing that happen in your life but don't make it serious try to make it like you are laughing at yourself so they don't just dismiss it right a way and have time to think about it for themselves.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Who cares it’s all clothing.

1 It isn’t as if really trashy clothing looks good once you are older- if it looks bad it looks bad. I wouldn’t want anyone dressing badly no matter the age but it’s their body.

2 I think the younger you are the more you can get away with. Younger people automatically look less provocative. A 10 year old in a Sun dress looks like a kid in a sundress. Once you get hips and boobs it looks flirtatious.

Jjpayne · Accepted Answer

I think highschool is a time of experimentation... It's really about finding yourself I think. You really have to dress as over the top as you can in order to know you can do it so there's a balance. I argue let them have a little bit of that in high school so they can settle down when they get to college. Not to encourage it but by 16 or so give them choice and let them try the sexy look, my theory is that by 18 they will settle into more modest clothing as long as they don't feel too much pressure to not dress that way. Let them feel like adults and then I think it will settle down after that

holidaze · Accepted Answer

My daughter will be able whatever she wants to wear.
After I let her out of the basement.
When she turns 30 years old.

But in all seriousness, this is a tough one for me, as I have given it no thought that I can think of. All I can say is, like that one judge said about porn "I know it when I see it", I have to say, "I know when a girl is trying to hard to look (much) older than she is".

kymberz · Answer

i think that teenagers - whether they be boys (imagine?) and girls (again imagine?) - are at an age of experimentation as young teenagers (13-14-15?) and need to practice/mimic/learn from someone. and if you have older brothers and sisters - that's great - but not if they suck and their friends suck, too! because remember - all of your younger brothers are looking at them, too, so it's up to us to set the standard and show them how to to able to make a girl like them/boy like them without turning into whores and sluts. and god forbid their parents teach them anything that they are going through because we all know what parents are for - rules! but our older brothers and sisters should be slowly showing us how to break the rules as young teenagers in order for us to learn things slowly and gently. and i think that our families have been failing us for generations (that's why Jesus invented friends!)! i really hope this helps! and now i am going to go down and read the other comments - oh. man. this might get scary!

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dressed more sexy at 15. But my kid gone have to wait til 18 😂

Daniela1982 · Answer

And how did your family handle the situation Laurie?

Lliam · Answer

Kids are usually influenced by their peers. They need to fit in and be cool. But older girls are not their peers.
I'd say that girls shouldn't start dressing in "sexy", less conservative clothes until they at least reach puberty and their bodies begin to develop, once they have boobies and hips and stop looking gangly. But they should "gradually" given more and more slack/privilege once they reach puberty. And that slack should be based on the amount of judgement and good behavior they display. If they are good girls, get good grades and display good values and judgement, they get more privileges.

NightFlirt · Answer

Depending on just how extreme they are dressing I don't see a real problem with it. As for padded bras however that's a little different, if the large majority of her class mates have started to develop breasts already and she is getting teased for being flat chested then yeah I am on board with her wearing a padded bra.

Apple1996 · Answer

Whatever age is fine. I use to have to sneak wearing certain clothes because they were "too revealing". By the time I was 14 my parents stopped caring

ZackBan · Answer

It's not that it's wrong. But I think it just looks weird.
Like a little kid looking like a grown woman she would stand out as someone wish issues who's trying to look older.
I think let every age get his share.

sophiejo · Answer

I was probably about 13/14 when I started wearing more adult clothes, basically as soon as I was old enough that my parents would let me go shopping with my friends

waaromniet · Answer

I think you should teach them the situations. A 10yo can't dress like older teenage girls for school, but if she wants to dress like that for a day out with the family, why not.

normalice · Answer

Whenever she wants, really. It's on us to be grown ups about it - it's not on them to remain children until we're allowed to ogle them.

DorkVader · Answer

I dont know how to vote. 10 is too young to be sexualizing little girls, but some styles just flat out aren't appropriate for a child that young. Many teenagers don't realize the impact or message they are sending by how they dress, how can a child that young know?

This is a complicated issue in that certain clothes are an invitation for certain types of attention. 10 is too young to invite anyone to gawk at you. I have a 15 year old cousin who likes to dress very suggestively and I think she is too young. I've flat out refused to let her go in public with me until she changed. So maybe I'm a prude, but I'm protective of children. They can dress older without putting their business on front street. So mature yes, but sexy? Not yet

R4vedave · Answer

I'd say about 15 or 16

ShyTes2 · Answer

Personally. I started dressing like siblings at 11. My parents beat my ass for it lol, but i think thats 1n okay age.

**** I wasn't dressing like a hooker though. Just... less kidish clothes if that makes sense.

slatyb · Answer

I would let children wear whatever they wanted as long as they didn't get thrown out of school. But I would tells girls that sadly the world is not fair and not all people are nice. If they wear certain clothing, some people will judge them and not all will be quiet about it.

Lola_loca · Answer

I think wen they're a teen 13 not 12 13teen then maybe because there's lots of perverts who kidnapping nd stalking younger girls like I remember I went out looking lik i was 17 nd I was actually 14 nd this guy was starring at me im 19 years now nd i look lik I'm 13 nd older guys still looking at me literally I look 13 nd I'm 19

DJB72 · Answer

I'm a father now. First time aged 46.

I'm scared of what my son is growing up in. The society I grew up in was bad enough in how hypersexualised teenagers were. I have a couple of friends in their early 20s who think my generation - their parents - are too conservative.

I'm relieved I have a son not a daughter.

Pubescent boys are simple creatures. I used to be one. Let me make this very simple:

Boys are still the same as they were 40 years ago. Pubescent boys are still visually wired. Hell, adult men are visually wired. That's why porn doesn't traditionally win prizes for the script.

Boys are basically testosterone-fuelled time bombs. They have the drives associated with the hormones flooding their system.

Being visually wired means that we get visual cues starting with what she's wearing and going into how her eyes dilate when we talk to her.

I have to try to teach my son how to differentiate between a ten year old girl wearing "fashion" and a girl over the age of consent who is actually trying to find a guy for sex.

Blame the designers. The media. Whoever you want. But no girl of 10 should look like she's a woman of 21 out looking for sex

LovingJo · Answer

This is precisely why rape happens.
If girls get into trouble by maybe drinking too much too soon and wearing provocative clothing, (not that it makes it right for the man to do this kind of thing) the reason they think they stand a chance is because they dressed for attention. That's why we do it, to attract the opposite sex/same sex etc naturally.. So they think that they're older than they are, before they are to handle what could come along!!
That's where the problem then lies, I speak from severe experience!! 😳😒

Laozi · Answer

It should be a decision taken by girl and her parents. If they find it comfortable they can wear whatever they like. It shouldn't be a problem in first place.

Nik1hil · Answer

When she earns her right to do so..  By taking responsibility of herself and few house chores.

Supermosh1990 · Answer

At least wait until high school to dress like this

At what age should girls be allowed to dress in less conservative styles?

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