Sexual Relationships
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My guy friend and I have been sleeping together, but he has a new girlfriend now. What should I do?

My guy friend and I kinda had a crush on each other for a while and we started having sex a while back. We've been friends with benefits for about a year now and I've been loving it. We really get each other and we have really hot sex pretty often and it's amazing. We spend nights with each other, take baths, sext and send nudes and sexy pics on Snapchat. Now he just started dating a new girlfriend last week and I don't know how to feel about it. I stayed over with him last night and we've had sex a few times since he started dating her, and I really don't wanna give it up. I know he's not "mine," but the sexual bond we have is pretty special. He said we could still sleep together as long as she doesn't know, but I don't want her to find my panties or thongs over at his place or something. She called him while I was giving him a blowjob last night, and I'm just concerned she might try to come over sometime while he and I are having sex if he tells her where he lives. What are your thoughts on this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is a tough one. My wife and I have always had an open relationship, and we always said we weren't interested in helping someone cheat. But we've found some cases where the line gets kinda blurry. She's been with a guy whose wife knows about his propensity to have multiple partners and used to seeing with him, but now she has health issues that impact their sex life and doesn't really play anymore. Dude feels trapped, doesn't want to hurt his wife by running her nose in the fact that he still has desires, but isn't ready to give up on having any kind of sex life. My wife decided it wasn't up to her to protect this man's wife, it was up to him. She almost never sees him and it's unlikely she'll ever cause this woman pain, and she believes he honestly doesn't want to hurt her. So yes, we have decided that once in a while there is some gray area.

    I'm not sure your situation is so gray though. If he's just starting this relationship, one would hope it's because his new girlfriend is pretty special. Starting out a relationship with deception and dishonesty is neither a recipe for a successful relationship, nor does it demonstrate he cares about the girl at all. It almost sounds like he wants to keep having sex with her and she told him she wanted a relationship. Even if that isn't the case though, I think others here are right. A possible short term silver lining is that I don't this relationship will last, so he'll probably be single again soon. But I don't recommend expecting him not to cheat if things ever get more serious between the two of you. I think I'd cut him off, explain that you like hiking up with him but don't want to help him cheat, and see what happens. But I think if he keeps sleeping with you and not being honest with her, you're probably headed for a pretty big disaster.

  • It's totally your fault from the beginning, now you have to deal with the consequences. Really sorry for you, we all do faults.
    If you felt love towards him, why you didn't tell him about your feelings?
    If you were not sure about your feelings but you felt that love when the other girl surfaced in the scene, so you were taking him for granted. If you were not ready for committment in a relationship, so another "ready" girl were ready and she took a step.
    If it was him refusing the committment so it's your fault to lose your time and emotions with a guy who doesn't appreciate your love.
    By the way his readiness to cheat on the other girl, is a red flag to move on this trap.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think it’s wrong on both of your parts to still be having sex with each other when he has a girlfriend. I don’t even see how you can think twice about whether to continue or not. You’re wrong for sleeping with him knowing he has a girlfriend. He’s wrong for still sleeping with you and he has a girlfriend. I would think since he made her his girlfriend that means he must’ve really liked her in some way. I don’t see how you can like someone though and cheat on them and not feel some kind of guilt toward doing so. Think about it, I’d you were his girlfriend or any guy’s girlfriend would you want your boyfriend having sex with some other girl? I don’t think so. So it’s selfish for you to still want to have sex with him and not care about the other girl. I think you should leave him alone or if you don’t want to do that, tell him you’re not going to continue sleeping with him while he’s in a relationship. Have some respect for yourself.

    • This ☝☝☝

    • Thanks! 😃

    • 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • Your guy friend is getting his cake and ice cream too.

    He's playing BOTH of you! Stop sleeping with him. Think about it: he's sleeping with you and her, so he's dishonest and a cheater. What else is he probably lying about?

    And you're the other woman. That's... nothing to be happy or proud of.
    No matter how good the sex is, or how much you like him, are you really okay with him sleeping with you and her? How would you feel if a guy cheated on you with another woman?

    Stop sleeping with him and let him be with his girlfriend. Find your own guy that appreciates you and is single!

    I have some choice words about what that cheating bastard should do too. But this is about you, not him.

    Smh, I feel bad for the girlfriend that's oblivious to this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

19 35

  • You know you’re the sloppy seconds here right? Not her. With her he’s willing to publicly declare he’s in a relationship, be seen and have people know about. You’re the dirty secret he still wouldn’t commit to even after a year of sleeping together.
    If that’s how low you see yourself then sure, settle for a fuckwit while simultaneously destroying any ounce of integrity you have knowingly hurting another women. I’m sure you’ll be amply rewarded

  • He needs to be honest with his new girlfriend and she can accept it or not.

  • Depending on what you mean with "dating". Are they concidered a couple? Or are they dating to see if there might be something there. Some people date more than one person at the same time before they settle down to be exclusive with just one. If it's the latter, know that it probably will come a time where he should end it if he decides he wants to be exclusive with just one. And if if it's the first, he is cheating on his girlfriend. What you can do? Propose to him an open relationship. Meaning if he decides to date anyone, he will inform them he is also having sex with you. It's the right way to go about it.

  • That's a tough situation, I think he has to make up his mind and choose between the two fo you, it's his responsibility to change something for better or for worse he started it on himself so he should fix it

  • Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing a guy was cheating on his girlfriend or wife with me. It just wouldn't feel right. Plus, if you do get caught and you don't know what kind of person she is, who knows what her reaction may be?

  • Wow, he'll take as much pussy as he can get, even when with another girl? Good luck with that.

  • You guys are the reason why people have trust issues and make us good ones out here repair the damage to one another.

    You already know what you should do but dont want to. I hope one day you realize how hurtful this could be to someone.

  • Oh damn girl... this boy has BOTH you and her. You need to put your foot down on what you really want cuz either way he’s tryna get both of you. How do you not feel bad that he’s basically cheating on his new girl while you’re the other woman.. wouldn’t you feel hurt if you’re her.. and if your bond with him is so amazing... time to step up your game because if not.. you and that girl is just gonna be the ones being hurt.

  • It sounds like it will be best to slow down and stop the sex and remain just friends. For now maybe don’t wear underwear when you go to his place so there is no danger of leaving any behind?

  • It really depends if your ok with knowing he is making love to another women while still keeping you on the side at the same time. He’s probably lovin it. Depends if you know your worth or have value in yourself or not. Up to you

  • my thoughts are you are one fucked up chick. Do you think its possible to find a sex partner who isn't also a completely amoral sociopath?

  • I honestly feel sorry for you. The only one who benefits well from this is that jerk. Either way you are the third party in this situation. Don't you feel bad for the other girl? You right that what goes around comes around and karma is a bitch.

  • Lol the girl who got cheated should dump him so he can be with you. A cheater and someone who knows her friend is already in a relationship but still want to fuck him? Sounds like a good combination to me.

    • She doesn't deserve that guy, you do. If this thing ever happens to you, only then you'll know how the other person is going to feel about all of this.

  • Seriously! Sweety, he's a cheater. Don't be the "other wonen" or a "side piece" You're better then that. You have higher value, to be valued, by someone who can actually value your value. But, no one is gonna give you that value, if you dont value YOURSELF. There are better men our there that are better for you. Great sex or not, that should be no reason to be taken advantage of. Leave him in the trash where he belongs!

  • The logical and obvious thing to do would be to stop sleeping with him. lol

  • Wow thats fucked up. How would you feel if he was ur boyfriend and he was cheating on u?

  • Stop. Only ok if no one is hurt. His new girl would obviously be. How would you like to find out that while you were chattering on the phone with your Boyfriend he was getting head from another girl-who knew you were on the phone with him and that you were clueless he is cheating while chatting. He is even more reprehensible.

  • If he's in a relationship with this girl your both pieces of shit. If you both end up dating later he'll probably cheat on you to. Or vice versa. Good luck with all that.

  • Sounds like this bastard just too lucky for his own good. He probably gets to cum in you too huh?

  • it's not worth it to continue. granted you both have been having sex for a while. even now that he has a girlfriend and you both are still fucking. that's a big red flag. even if you do tell him how you feel and he breaks up with her and you both start to date, what says that he won't cheat on you with someone else. he's a bad egg.

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