Is it understandable for a man to feel insecure when his wife goes out drinking with her friends?

[Stephen_77]

The typical response is, "Stop being possessive and insecure, you have to trust your girlfriend or wife." But people completely misunderstand. It's not about trust, it's about respect and being responsible. Let me explain:

Good people can still be overcome by temptation. And when people are drunk they will often do things that they wouldn't normally do if they were sober. How often have you heard people say, "It was a drunken mistake." A woman might not have any intention of cheating on her boyfriend or husband, but she goes out with her friends and gets really drunk. Her friends then meet a bunch of horny men in a club, and they start flirting with each other. One of the men then makes a pass at the married woman, and on spare of the moment she is overcome by temptation and then one thing leads to another.

The point I'm making is that quite often people who never have any intention of cheating still end up cheating when they put themselves in certain situations. And men know what men are like when it comes to seeing attractive women in a pub or club. So why is it a great mystery as to why a lot of men don't like their wives going out drinking? Being protective doesn't make him possessive.

[jdhtx1]

People who have no intention 95% of the time don't cheat. If some girl cheats and blames it on alcohol, she's full of shit 100% of the time, because there are too many steps in between her first drink and her having sex. She has to allow him to hit on her, allow him to go to far, and keep talking to him anyway. Then, follow him to his car or vice-versa. Then kiss him, probably grab his cock... etc. There is just too many ways for her to say no, for alcohol to be an issue. Usually, if a chick cheats by meeting a dude at a bar, she was always going to cheat at some point. Alcohol, gave her a good excuse. So, bro, don't worry about her drinking... most of the time, alcohol won't lead someone to cheat if they never intended on doing so. If you don't think she goes out to cheat, then I wouldn't worry about it. When she goes out, try and keep yourself busy if you have trust issues... when she comes home, don't ask her shit about where she went, don't ask her who she saw, just ask if she had fun. If you start sweatin other dudes, she going to tell her girls, they're going to pile on, talking shit. Be supremely confident.
If she does cheat, you'll probably find out by accident because she probably won't tell you. So, my advice is concentrate on you being better, getting better... increase your confidence. Go to the gym, learn a language... do something to give yourself more confidence...
And trust her, cuz that's really the only choice you have.

[Stephen_77]

I have to disagree

[jdhtx1]

Well, if you have these kind of issues every time she goes out to have drinks because you believe alcohol will lead to her eventually cheating, then it comes down to her making a concession for you. She has to stop going. Now, you can't disagree with that.

[Finchie40]

Yes it is , if she is constantly excluding you and going out with her friends to bars and coming home drunk odd hours in the night then it’s nothing to do with being insecure it’s more that she doesn’t really respect your marriage or you , now if she goes out once in a blue moon with her friends drinking and she is home at a decent time or she checks in on you that shows she respects you and you should have no reason to feel insecure , so it comes down to her actions and how often she does it , don’t ever let a girl tell you that you are being insecure and making you feel like you are wrong , cuz the reality of it is she is wrong and it’s disrespectful , she didn’t get married to be single. My ex pulled that shit with me so instead of fighting with her I said have fun I am going out also with my friends as made it clear she was excluded , since she excluded me all those times. It made her realize how much of an asshole she was being and how toxic her friends were , when you are married your partner should never make you feel excluded , it’s a selfish act that adds unwanted fire to a relationship , about 6 months after she stopped hanging out with those toxic friends I busted her having an affair with 1 of her coworkers that was meeting her at those bars so it goes to show your gut instinct is usually right and now the bitch is my ex

[Stephen_77]

Yes you are correct about trusting your instinct. Many years ago when I was with my girlfriend I never liked the idea of her going out drinking and she would often pull the "stop being possessive" card. So I gave in and stopped complaining about it, and one night she went to a pub with some friends and ended up cheating. She lied about it for months but I never gave up trying to find out. Once the evidence was against her she finally confessed. I just hate it when society tells women to label their boyfriend insecure or possessive if he doesn't like his girlfriend or wife going on a girls night out. Logic and common sense dictates that it's not a good idea.

[Finchie40]

Exactly it’s disrespectful and just shows a lot of people are selfish and only really care about themselves , why a lot of relationships don’t make it cuz people tend to think about themselves and excluding their partner thinking. It’s innocent when really it isn’t , people shouldn’t get into relationships if they can’t wear their partners shoes , it’s nothing to do with insecurity it comes down to respect

[Finchie40]

Thanks for MHO

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

First, let me say; alcohol is not the "reason " people cheat. It's the excuse they use tti "justify".
Secondly, if you don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person. Trust is essential in any relationship.
People have cheated at the workplace, or when they're partners at work. Cheating can happen anywhere, anytime. So, what you gonna chain that person to you at all times?
Why you take the time to get to know someone, and have a healthy relationship, because I guarantee if a women is being treated right by her man at home, nothing, noone, and no amount of alcohol would make her cheat!
And, did you calmly discuss your reasons or concerns? Or did you put it as a demand? There's a big difference between "I wish you wouldn't." In that case she far more likely tti take your feelings into consideration. But "I absolutely forbid you to". Well that won't fly, cuz at the end of the day you are their partner, not their owner.
And lastly if you behave in your relationships, talked tti your girlfriend like you treat all females on here, with disrespect and name calling, then again, it wasn't the alcohol, it was "you". You can't hate on/ disrespect "all" females, and then demand respect from them. Respect is a two- way street. And can't be demanded, rather it is earned.

[rodney24]

I'm not arguing. Well said doll

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@rodney24 Thank you❣people really need to stop blaming the whole gender for the actions of some. And take more responsibility for the break down in their relationships. Wasn't right for her to cheat tho. She should of just left first. I in no way justify people actually cheating.

[Stephen_77]

You're talking absolute shit.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

There you go again. Can you ever talk calmly, rationally to anyone? Maybe that's why your relationships don't work. Communication is key, and you don't appear to no how to communicate, you just respond with anger and insult. That don't work on people boo. So, before you keep blaming " all"women, look at how you treat/ talk about/ to all women, and therein lies your problem, and your answer🤷‍♀️

[Stephen_77]

If you're gonna post a load of diarrhea then I'm gonna call you out on it.

[rodney24]

See now that's the approach they need out there cotton

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Stephen_77 Do you notice how I got my point across without acting irrational. You should try it sometime. Oh fyi maybe that's also why you whining on internet bout being cheated on, while my relationship lasted 20+ years with no cheating on either side cuz I knew how to treat my man and he knew how to treat me. If you want a women to take care of you like a man deserves, you first have to "act" like a man, and not a child. Just saying🤷‍♀️

[rodney24]

You know how it goes lol. Sounds like a bad case of the micropenis to me. I'd cheat too in her shoes lmao. Treat that someone special how you want to be treated.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@rodney24 You might be something there lol Still don't excuse cheating tho... even if someone's an ass.. noone deserves that.. better to be honest, and then walk if they ain't getting it or don't care about your unhappiness

[kymberz]

i thoroughly enjoyed reading all of this. i love it when people's true colours come out. and yours shine clear and pure Brainsbeforebeauty!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@kymberz aww thanks❣

[kymberz]

your very welcome!

[Stephen_77]

You're that dumb that you didn't even understand the point of this question. That's why I get frustrated, because you don't pay attention to what is said.

[Stephen_77]

@rodney24 Oh dear, another white knight simp.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Wow see anytime a man agrees with a woman, they a white night. Do you always repeat yourself? Sorry to tell you men and women agree on many things on a daily basis. So they all "white knights"?

[Stephen_77]

It depends how the man responds. Judging by his immature comments, it seemed like he was acting like a white knight mangina, trying to look good by running to the woman's defense. Those kind of men are pathetic and only shows how weak and pathetic they are.

[loveslongnails]

We're just feeding the monkey, a rude monkey at that, and watching him masturbate, and it's really getting tedious. LOL I don't think the guy is married, but if he is, the woman can't be very intelligent.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@loveslongnails Agreed thank you

[PrimalInstinct]

It's no secret that alcohol lowers inhibitions, exactly to the point you made, so yes it is understandable to feel insecure, jealous or at least put off by the idea. I'd be more concerned/put off about a guy (or gal) who couldn't care as it reflects his (/her) indifference about the other person.

And as MMayhem pointed out nobody really goes out without their partner if they aren't seeking (either subconsciously or consciously) a fling from a sleazy drunken night. I've a number of married friends, they bring their spouses just as guys & gals bring available boy/girlfriends. Do we sit together? Not always (guys at the bar, gals at the table). It is some chaperone thing? Not really (but I'm sure fling-seekers would say it is).

Besides when you get right down to it **if** a "girls' night" or "guys' night" was indeed "innocent" it can easily be arranged at somebody's house. Happens all the time. No different, in a way, then attending a friend's BBQ minus the opposite sex. And even at a friend's BBQ with everyone, it's not unheard of for guys to go watch sports after the meal while the gals to gather somewhere (e. g. patio) & chat.

[btbc92]

Yes, especially if their bad friends. If their not bad friends then you worry about her mentality and the type of men she will attract. I justbfont understand why people don't be friends first and date within their circle but complain about this kind of stuff.

[btbc92]

And besides if you date somebody who goes to clubs, bars etc, your just asking for trouble and stress. I would not date somebody who does these things. No way.

[Stephen_77]

But what if the man/woman had been with you for a while and then started wanting to go out clubbing with their friends?

[btbc92]

Guess what? EXIT. That's my deal breaker. Be can do what he wants, but I am not staying with him. I mean it. That's why I would never date somebody who I'm not friends with. If I know that their friends are into clubbing, and he goes to that, guess what I don't have to date him. The rule still stands. I would t go to some club and nether would I expect him to go. I have friends who do clubbing. At least they know better not to invite me. And it's not a big deal.

[Stephen_77]

But how do you meet men to be friends with without dating them?

[btbc92]

Simple. Mingle and get to know people. Meet them over time and talk. Build a connection. Like how I do in school. I participate in class discussions. When I am paired up in a group, I get to introduce myself and and partake in the activity. We talk about the topics that we are assigned to talk about, and express our opinions on them. The people you bond the most with can start the process of being friends. Naturally you talk about hobbies and such. But also continue from the last disscusions. Like for example. With two of my classes I have at least one guy who knows me already just by 4 classes now. We didn't know each other like everybody else except for those who knew each other from other semesters or schools, etc. But we had small talks related to school and topics from class, and you can kinda say were on a friend level.

[btbc92]

In less than two weeks, we were able to talk about politics, and he was able to discern bases on what I speak about both classes how smart, articulate and passionate I am about life. Even asking my political stance. And I told the truth aboit it. And he is a young kid. THAT is how you communicate. It's very sad nobody learns to be objective and carry conversations with the mindset of a mature adult. You take those same skills in making judgement calls in finding a mate. If a mate is what your looking for. Make friends! Kid got the right idea.

[btbc92]

About*

[btbc92]

This is proof right here that A lot of people are dating for all the wrong reasons, lack proper communication skills, neglecting friendships and other relationships, and don't even have rational reasons to be dating. this is why I tell people all the time do not approach somebody you're attracted to just for the sake of them being attractive. Because now you're not being objective. And this is why they can't even talk anymore. This is why a lot of them are selfish, and then they get into a relationship they don't know about and have all these problems. Worse if they end up having premarital sex, and then the sex blinds them to these things. And then if they get married and they take that same nose into their marriage and then marriage goes to rubbles. It can all be avoided if people do what's right from the beginning stop rushing the process. Impatience get you nowhere.

[Stephen_77]

But that's easy for you to say. Women don't have the same sex drive as what men have.

[btbc92]

Where does sex drive have anything to do with It? If all you guys are going to do is just think with your penis that's why you have a hard time getting the right kind of partner for you. Sex drive has nothing to do with it because it has nothing to do with sex. It have to do a building intimacy with the right kind of people. So no it's not easy for me to say. It has to do with your mindset.

[Stephen_77]

Yer but with you being a woman you're not gonna crave sex as much as what men do, so it's easier for you to not focus much on sex.

[btbc92]

If you're craving sex and that's lust. It has nothing to do with me not being a man or me not craving sex. Cuz if I do that, then why did I need to be involved with a man for relationship? I might as well just sleep with every guy or boy I can find. Since I don't need a relationship for that. But then I will be called a whore, and then I will go to hell for living a whorish life, and brought many men to ruin. So it's best not to talk about a person specific libido. Because it has to do with your intent. If your intent is to be with a woman sexually, then what's the point of you going for a relationship? You might as well just have sex again with different women as you please. Since there's plenty to go around for you to do so who is also willing you cannot say you pray suck, but then you want a relationship. You want to have sex, then you find a person to marry and you get married to them. Because God designed sex to be a marriage and marriage to be all about sex. Cannot say how you want sex with a woman, then you were not prepared for the responsibility and accountability that come with it.

[btbc92]

We are not a plaything. We are not a toy. We are not plastic, we are real as you. We are people with emotions, thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, principles, morals, beliefs, faith, no different than what you have. So unless we want to be an object, we are not an object for you to use or to Crave because you can't control yourself. That's why God command for us to have self discipline and self-control. As a human being, your sin nature is telling you to crave a woman for sex thinking that it's a need. But it's not a need is a want, it's an overall desire. But what you choose to do with that desire can lead you and that other person to send. It can cause generational curses to your children, and you can further curse your line. Is sex really worth destroying an entire nation? Because I tell you it is not worth it. That should be a desire that you have to share with a loved one that you want to really love. It is not designed for your pleasure at anybody else's pleasure. It is designed to be a pleasurable experience to Become One with each other and form a new creation together. It has the power to create as well as the power to destroy. You have no idea how much power you have within your hands. And as the old saying goes with great power comes with great responsibility. So it's best not for you to use it so unwisely. Because sex should be an offering of who you became in the entirety of your years from the time of your conception all the way to the time of your consummation. That's sex. It's not just physical alone or just emotional let him alone scientific. But spiritual as well. And there are consequences to these things. Realize that God called man to be the leader of his own household. So when you choose to lead a woman into bed with you, know what you're leading her into. Because she puts her entire life in your hands. She can die from your hands.

[Stephen_77]

I'm not bothered either way. Women have become too stressful to be with, whether for sex or for relationships. They expect too much and offer little in return.

[btbc92]

That's why every guy that came to me based on the desires of Sex and the physical I declined. Because I know that is not a man worthy of me. Let alone a foolish man based on his own sensuality, and he has yet to forget that he is human he is not an animal. Even animals have laws. And is too made corrupt because of sin. But we are called to a higher standard. And if we don't learn to live by that standard, then who are we to judge when one's life is in peril and it all could have been avoided. Understand that there are certain conditions that can only be fulfilled in a marital Union. That's why I gave the example that I gave. You are to be as innocent minded as children. That is what we are called to be.

[btbc92]

Which you do not understand is exactly what this pastor that have passed away had said. Women come to this world packaged. We are ready come equipped with everything that we need. We can't offer much unless we are married. We are not designed to give Provisions. We are designed to be your helper. And as a leader, how can a follower be of service to you if you don't even know what you need of us? How can we trust you to be a good leader if you can't show us that? where are your credentials? That's how important it is to be self-sufficient as a man. Because a woman can play with you all day all night but she's still at the end of the day and her heart is going to want something more.

[btbc92]

It's just that when we're born, we grow into ourselves, we become educated, and develop the natural talents that God already gave us. That's why we're not open sexually, that's why we're closed and for a man to open us when we are married. Of course we are expecting too much because that's how God designed us. Greater rewards come with what is hard, that's why boys were made to be men. The boys were not made men until they were out into the world to survive and then Proven themselves worthy of a woman's hand in marriage. And you did not have that girl's hand until it was proven. Into a man was able to have Provisions, is secure within himself as a person, has good reputation with nobody having ill words to say, a home to give her so she can give birth and nurture your children, and is her protector. The one who tends the garden. And I don't mean just a fields, it means us and the seeds you plant are the children. And we are the garden. You just got to decide if she's How can we trust you to be a good leader if you can't show us that? where are your credentials? That's how important it is to be self-sufficient as a man. You have to make sure that we're worth it. No different than we have to make that same judgement. That's the hard part. That's why I always tell people do not get yourself so emotionallyinvested early on and make sure you are objective with what you want. Then when you have everything out the way and you know you're compatible, then you can have fun on dates. Back in the day they screen people and make sure you were the right candidate having dating portfolios and such before courting. And you will not to touch each other sexually, or behave uncomely towards each other or else you would have been disqualified or in some cases forced to marry and not divorce.

[btbc92]

And I'm sure I should not have to tell you about unwanted pregnancies and STDs besides the possibility of getting cancer that can God forbid end in death. It's not a joke. And I would rather not be with a man who takes it as a joke. I would have to be stupid to pick a Man based on what I feel Between the legs. Because if I marry a person based on lust, and I got a bit get pregnant, and be with a man who don't even know how to take care of his life Affairs, let alone doesn't treat me right sexually? Then I can't complain. I'm stuck by my choices.

[Stephen_77]

But even so, women's standards are usually too high and women tend to pick the bad men over the good men, so you have yourselves to blame. You reject the good men because they're seen as boring but you will get with the bad men for the excitement. And what the hell has cancer got to do with it?

[Screenwriter]

If this situation applies equally to the man going out with his fellows, I suppose it's OK. But the bottom line is you need to trust that your spouse is not getting so blotto that they stumble into someone's bed. Something's wrong with their drinking habits and responsibility to their relationship.

[Stephen_77]

Yes same rule would apply to men. The point I was making is that good people who don;t intend to cheat will sometimes still end up cheating when they get really drunk and are overcome by temptation. When people are really drunk they can't tryst themselves completely.

[Screenwriter]

I think "good" will be compromised by "get really drunk." "Overcome by temptation?" I think the really drunk equation should not be a part of any healthy relationship. You've got to care enough to not get yourself into such a situation.

[Justacatlady]

I don’t believe in the “I was so drunk” excuse. I’ve been absolutely fucking wasted and been completely faithful. Yes it lowers your decision making ability but unless that person has the desire to cheat somewhere in them, they won’t. It’s that simple

[Stephen_77]

No it's not. There are some people that never had any intention of cheating, but they put themselves in a situation that made them weak to temptation. For example, if you were an ex alcoholic would it be a good idea to go out with friends that were heavy drinkers? Of course not. You're opening yourself up to temptation.

[Justacatlady]

You can believe that if it makes you feel better but I don’t. If a person can’t control themselves because of a substance they choose to invest then they shouldn’t be putting it in their body.

[Stephen_77]

So is it not understandable for a man to feel insecure when his girlfriend or wife goes out drinking with her friends?

[Justacatlady]

Not if you’ve seen her drink before and you know she doesn’t make dumb decisions. If you don’t know how she acts when she drinks, then you have every right to feel apprehensive

[kymberz]

yes. it is very understandable. but when i was younger and going out to clubs with my girlfriends, their boyfriends and husbands always wanted to be sure that i was there, too, and then they would be fine with it. because they all knew that when i went to a club it was to dance and have fun - not to be picked up or by, or try to pick up guys. they knew that i would never let my girlfriends get too drunk or sloppy and if they did - i got them out of there pronto! so maybe that's the key. make sure your girlfriend/wife is with a girl/woman you trust and blammo - you probably just made a really good friend yourself and she is never gonna let your girlfriend/wife cheat on you. she would never let her friends do that!

[MzAsh]

It’s understandable, but not reasonable. The problem is your lack of trust. That’s something you should work on to find out why and what you can do about it without intervening in her social life. Meanwhile, let her enjoy her nights out, even if it bothers you.

[purplepoppy]

I partly agree. If the atmosphere is sexually charged then alcohol can tip good girls over the edge. But in my experience most women with partners don't cheat in the presence of others. They are more likely to do it sober and discretely.

[PondyPand]

If she gets drunk enough to not be in control of her actions or decisions then dump her anyway.
It is COMPLETELY up to them whether they cheat or not. being drunk is not an excuse.

[marc575]

If you believe in the law of attraction, your fears will be reality. If you wish in the store that something is not sold out, it will be sold out. If you see the bus and think you will miss the bus, you will miss the bus. if you tell yourself I will never have money, you will never buy anything you want. You control your mind and your mind will attract whatever the universe will bring. So telling yourself "I do not want my wife/girlfriend to cheat" you already prepared that she will. Because she will feel what energy you give her. So by already giving that negative energy you give, she will easier choose for positive energy which means you bring her to cheat

[Stephen_77]

What utter bollocks

[marc575]

You dont have to believe, it's called advise

[Stephen_77]

Yer, dumb advice.

[marc575]

I see, I do thank you for your time

[lightbulb27]

yes, risky... I agree with you. It's a reason I don't like drinkers.
I would accept it with another girlfriend as her friends (most) had their heads screwed on right. But there's risks for sure as inhibitions are dropped.

But you can't control her, just tell her you love her...

[MMayhem]

I'm a retired professional drinker and let me add some tried and true wisdom to this. No one, absolutely no one ever cheats by mistake. You are 100% correct about respecting one another, too. Everyone knows what goes on during girls night out and they have every intention of doing whatever it is they get off on, without their SO. If a man is feeling "insecure" then it is up to the woman to rectify that and negotiate more agreeable terms. After all, if they aren't up to no good, why not stay home and party?

[MrKinktastic]

I disagree, you either trust her or you don’t in my opinion. I’ve been almost blackout drunk and didn’t cheat when offered. booze greases the path, you still have to walk down it.

Regardless, the issue is you assume she would stray to someone better than you if given a bit of booze and an opportunity. That suggests you’re automatically assuming you’re not worth coming home to, I suspect you’re wrong about that, though I don’t know you. She obviously saw something in you or she wouldn’t have married you.

[byowell]

It's understandable to be nervous or insecure but you still have to respect her and she's a grown woman if she really loves you she would never make that decision no matter how drunk she was, no matter how drunk I get (and trust me I'm a light weight) the only man I'm looking for is my boyfriend, even more than when I'm sober tbh. I'm obsessed with my man sober, drunk, I'm attached to his hip.

[Stephen_77]

But why can't she respect her husbands feelings?

[byowell]

Because she's not doing anything wrong? you're not even giving her a chance?

[Stephen_77]

Well she's putting herself in a situation where she could be easily overcome by temptation, as well as going into an environment where other men are probably going to be trying it on with her. Why would any respectful wife do that to her husband?

[byowell]

Aye dawg, it's the girls boyfriend. Man listen yu wanna keep yu girl, you gotta trust her. She obviously wants yu cuz shii if she work or even go out in town I bet yu 5 to one there niggas looking @her thinking what they could do to her but yet she still comes home to yur ass an she still sleeps next to yur ass so brobro chill out let your girl go have fun wit her friends an hell if yu have to go wit her or find yu some of yur friends an go kick it wit them. Yu niggas out being jealous which is okay @times is wats fckin it up for all the real man. Like fck man it called trust g. Yu gotta have it to have a relationship 💯

[Stephen_77]

I've known plenty of guys that had no problem with their girlfriend or wife going out drinking and yet still got cheated on. Fact is, when going out with her friends and getting drunk just leaves her open to temptation. Some women just want to have their cake and eat it. You're probably a slut yourself.

[byowell]

Lol no, so why would you wanna be with a woman that wants to "have her cake and eat it to"

[byowell]

Man listen if yu read the fckin comment yur talkin to her boyfriend not her an another yu call my girl a sult again an we gonna have problem I may not knw where Yu are but I promise I can fck yu over real quick yu wanna try me mfcker

[Stephen_77]

Your girlfriend is a slut and you are a cunt :)

[Stephen_77]

And learn to spell you dumb fuck.

[byowell]

You asked for an opinion and you got one quit being butt hurt 🤷🤦

[thatguy1559]

No it's not. And it also depends on her friends and how they act drunk... But I understand where you coming from

[Stephen_77]

You just contradicted yourself

[thatguy1559]

Not really. If you trust her then don't worry. I'm say I understand the feeling of worrying if her friends are wild and she wild being drunk. But at the end of the day just don't worry. If she messes up then you know but til then just keep calm and keep y'all going

[Stephen_77]

You completely missed the point.

[arabgoddess]

It's that you don't trust other men lol..

[Stephen_77]

Neither men nor women can be really trusted when they're drunk.

[arabgoddess]

👍 👍 Yess

[cicchis0]

That still sounds like a trust issue - trusting or not trusting the woman to be responsible.

[slatyb]

Understandable? Sure. But you can't keep tabs on her 24/7. You have to let these worries go or you'll make yourself crazy. Why do imagine she would be tempted to have an affair? Is your marriage difficult?

[Stephen_77]

Did you not read everything I said?

[slatyb]

Yes, but why do you imagine she would risk her marriage for a fling with another guy? This seems more likely if she's not happy with the marriage. So how is it? If it's not so good then work on that.

[Stephen_77]

Because the world is full of selfish people, you thick dimwit.

[Ziggystar]

I think it's all about trust if you feel a little insecure about your wife or your girlfriend going out with her friends to have drinks then you have no trust

[MackToday]

It's more than understandable. Ladies don't go out drinking an carousing or hanging out in bars at all. Sure wouldn't want to be my wife.

[Laozi]

Let's reverse the question.
Is it understandable for a woman to feel insecure when her husband goes out drinking with his friends?
Obviously a woman wouldn't like her man get drunk and then some horny woman starts flirting with him. And on spare of the moment he is overcome by temptation and then one thing leads to another. A woman knows another woman. Finding handsome men and preying on them. So what if your woman tell you to not go in pub or club for drinking. Would you call her being possessive or protective.

[Stephen_77]

I would call her protective. The difference is that it's mostly men that get labelled insecure and possessive, so all I'm doing is trying to balance it.

[Laozi]

Not every man thinks like that. Moat of them would call such woman insecure. Also it's true in most of the situations that husband worrying about his wife not because he's protective but he's insecure.

[Stephen_77]

Because he has every reason to be insecure, for the reasons I explained.

[Laozi]

Those are not sufficient reasons. Now a days woman can handle themselves. Even when they're drunk they ain't gonna tempt by a horny dude. There may be some but most of them (if they're commited) wouldn't do that. So husbands/boyfriends should have some faith in them.

[Stephen_77]

I disagree. According to police statistics some years ago, about 50% of deaths, rapes, and violence are alcohol related. So I think we can safely say that alcohol is responsible for a lot of infidelity as well. You would be surprised how many men and women cheat on their spouse when they go on girls or boys night out.

[Laozi]

I know. But that doesn't mean they can go outside. That's not a valid reason. Rash driving can cause damage. But that doesn't mean we should stop walking on street. You can get shot by someone even when you both aren't in a insecure place (and neither of you is drunk). You said about cheating. But do you know many boys and girls don't cheat even they are drunk. World is not all black.

[Stephen_77]

I never said everyone who goes out drinking is going to cheat. I was making a point that men have good reason to feel insecure when their attractive girlfriend goes out drinking in places where a lot of men go to to get laid. You disagree, and that's fine, but I believe what I say is true.

[Laozi]

Yeah. Let's agree to disagree.

[Stephen_77]

Yes absolutely

[SoMuchNut]

No, it's not. You got some sort of issues.

[Stephen_77]

Simp