My boyfriend won’t go down on me or finger me out?

Anonymous
We’ve been together for a year and a half and I’m 20 and he’s 21 years old. When we first met he only went down on me and fingered me a couple of times and then he stopped completely. For a whole year and a bit I haven’t been fingered or eaten out and it’s sexually frustrating. I’ll ask him why he won’t go down or finger me and he makes excuses like I’m tired or another day! Even cried and argued the point but he says to me he’s sorry and I’ll try harder and he hasn’t done a thing. He makes me feel ashamed of my body which I’ve told him and again he just hugs me, apologies and says I’ll try harder but still hasn’t and still makes excuses! We love each other emotionally but I don’t think he loves me physically. It makes me feel unhappy but again he has many good values like he’s not a lazy person he loves work, wants a future and a home, doesn’t hit or cheat. I’ve never met someone so loyal and emotionally supportive but the sex life is shit! It makes me want to separate love and sex! I want to know everyone’s opinion on that? Am I wrong wanting sexual affection and to be honest there have been times I wanted to fuck someone else, not to be a bad person or to cheat deliberately just the feel of someone appreciating my body and sexual needs, But then I don’t want too! Should I just feel unhappy in a relationship or feel guilty for wanting something that’s missing in my relationship and just fucking someone! It’s not multiple people I want to fuck there is one person who’s single, who I was seeing before being in this relationship (meaning I was single as well) he made me love my body and he loved it too and would sexually please me perfectly but we don’t see each other being in a relationship we don’t click in that way only sexually. Sometimes I feel wrong cause when I don’t get sexual pleasure from my boyfriend I think about this other boy🤦🏻‍♀️
My boyfriend won’t go down on me or finger me out?
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