I recently came out as bi to my best friend but feel still disgusting when I'm attracted to guys (please help)?

So as the title says, but I'll give more detail. So I'm attracted to guys in a weird way, I'm attracted to the neck down (the body), I don't find the faces attractive in any way. And find women attractive in every way, (although I do find personality most attractive on someone). So I ended up getting extremely drunk and was texting my best friend, I asked her if I could tell her something, asked if she wouldn't think of me differently. She said as long as it's not something bad I'm ok. So I told her I'm bi by saying "I think I'm bi" ( I said think cos of not being attracted to guys faces). She replied "ok I kinda think you are aswell". Turns out I've said a few things to her in private that would make her think I am and also seen me looking at guys. I was really scared to tell her in case she thought of me differently or even was disgusted by me. She was amazing and supportive. And I know felt bad for not thinking she's be ok with it. That was 4 days ago, I've since found myself being attracted to guys a bit more (still not faces). But I still do feel wrong for it, she has assured me nothing is wrong with it, just still feels like it. I also haven't told anyone else, the person I think would the biggest issue with not telling them about it is actually her boyfriend. I was friends with her boyfriend when I met her, and slowly those two became my best mates. But after a while cos both her and I have more free time than him we started hanging out a lot. And us two became really close. He's been known to get a little jealous, but is generally alright about us two. But he would be really upset if us two were hiding this from him. I'm just not ready to tell anyone else, and I doubt I will be for a very long time cos tell her has taken 5 months of building up to and I'm closer to her than anyone else. I'm just not sure what to make of my mind right now, anyone got any advice or ideas with what's going on in my head.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Welcome to the queer community! We're glad to have you!
    It's awesome that you were ready to come out, and that you have a supportive friend!
    The self hatred, unfortunately, is a pretty common thing in people who are just beginning to explore their own same sex attraction, as is the confusion about the way you're attracted to same gender individuals. Fortunately, I can tell you with confidence that it eventually passes. When you first begin exploring same sex attraction, it can be hard to separate you own sexual wants and desires from your romantic and emotional needs, and even harder to disentangle those two concepts from what you feel is expected of you by your family, your peers, and society.
    My advice? Talk about it. Talk with anyone who you feel safe and comfortable talking with. Go online and reach out to people like you in the Queer Community, and ask about their similar experiences. Talking with others is often a great way to understand yourself. Look at articles and pages on queer theory. I personally would look up the phrase "comp-het". That helped me understand my own issues with same sex attraction!
    Good luck!! And feel free to message me if you have questions or want to talk! I'm always here for young queer people in the self discovery phase!!

    • Thank you, does feel good to know there are people who have been in the same situation as me, and I will try what you have suggested

  • This is completely normal. Don't push yourself to come out to people when you aren't comfortable yet. You decide who you tell and don't tell, nothing bad about it. What's important is that you feel safe enough to share, if you don't feel like it, then it's not something you have to share.
    And being attracted to the same gender can really feel confusing and even bad once you realize. Your feelings are valid. I am here to say that it's nothing bad with liking guys and girls. Don't worry about your attraction towards girls being stronger/bigger than to guys. Some prefer girls 80% and men 20% and so on, it don't have to be an even scale. Sexuality is flexible and we are all different.
    I also want to say it was brave of you to come out to your friend, it is nerve wrecking. The fear of rejection or even violence can be overwhelming. So that you waited til you felt more comfortable and then sharing is awesome

    • Thank you this has helped a lot.

    • No problem, keep going at your own pace, and keep being you

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm straight and I'm telling u rn that there's nothing wrong with being bi

    • Thank you. Dunno why it affects me so much.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 1
  • There is no help your not bi stupid.

    • I mean if I enjoy watching gay porn, apart looking at their faces I would say that I'm fairly bi 😂

    • No just like the sexyalality of makes and wish you had it. Go get a girl not resport to changing

    • If your really gay let's sex and I'll breed your sorry ass

    • Show All