What things do you struggle to communicate to your partner (s) about your sexual preferences or fantasies?

[whipitout]

It can be hard to admit to someone that you want something if you’re scared they might judge you for it, or not be into it. Ideally in a perfect relationship, there’s enough trust and open communication that you feel comfortable discussing everything with them, but that’s much easier said than done.

Data would suggest that the majority of men prefer to be dominant while the majority of women prefer to be submissive. Then there’s a portion of each that are switches - I can’t remember the stats but ill try to update later with the proportions of each. So knowing that the majority of women want a dominant guy and that the submissive role doesn’t match society’s typical idea of ‘masculinity’, do any guys feel shy to admit they are submissives or want to try it?

Do you think guys or girls have a harder time admitting they have fantasies that they think are embarrassing or might be rejected? Or do you think it’s not related to gender?

Girls, are you shy to admit you want to be a dom?

What kinds of things do you find difficult to discuss? Pain play? Degradation? Humiliation? Age play? Role play? ‘Watersports’?

[holidaze]

As far as I know, I don’t think I’ve ever struggled too long before finding a way to let whatever my interest was be known to her.

Where the struggle comes in, is when once I have broached the subject, and the possibilities are being considered, sometimes it ultimately becomes something she’s not comfortable with. Which I do understand and respect, after all I wouldn’t want her to be super pushy about something she would like to do that I might be uncomfortable with. (Although I have no idea what could possibly fall into that category, my kink level is way above hers). 😂

I think the problem may be because of how thorough I am in my interests. I am the type of person who when I get something that interests me, I research the shit out of it. Here is an example of this.

One night as I was falling down an internet hole, I came across a legitimate news article about a new sexual trend. So I did my usual research, research, research and the more I read about it the more I convinced myself that I’d like to give it a go. So one night I casually bring it up, her reaction at first was somewhat shocked, but then she thought it through and we discussed it and actually got to the point where she figured yeah, we will probably do that.

But then I believe what happened was she discussed it with a close friend, and all of a sudden It wasn’t going to happen. Where the real struggle for me is realizing that I can’t and shouldn’t push, even though I want to.

So, the initial breaking the subject I’ve never had a huge problem with.

So the best and obvious thing for me to do is to respect her decision, even though my kink factor allows me to still be really fired up about it., and to really want it.
it can sorta suck.

[whipitout]

It’s hard to admit that, so good on you! I totally get the research thing lol, I’m exactly the same. It’s got to be frustrating for sure, I guess as long as for the most part you’re happy, then that’s alright?

[whipitout]

As a side note, how important do you think that is to your relationship? The fact that your kink level is a lot higher? Is it a big challenge?

[holidaze]

The way I look at it, it is a con, and sex is important, but when I add up the pros and cons of the relationship, there are so many more pros, and in very important areas as well, that on the whole the good and great vastly outweigh the bad.

[holidaze]

Well, as we all know, (I think most people know) sex was a wonderful gift that God gave us. I seem to be able to explore more within the boundaries of it than a lot of others can or do. Maybe I've got the boundaries wrong? That's a discussion for another time, lol. Luckily there are other ways to not exactly substitute for what is sought after, but rather to deal with it. (Fantasies, along with the "M" word, etc.) And those can be accomplished while not straying outside the relationship in a serious, physical way. It's a challenge I'd rather not have, but it's not insurmountable I don't think.

[whipitout]

How very mature of you, bravo 👏I hope it continues to work like that 😊

[holidaze]

Thank you very much for the MHO. 🙂

[Trooper205]

I don't have many of my own, but I really hope my Girl will communicate to me about what She wants in Her love life!!! It's very important to me!

[Stacie3]

In the past I struggled to tell of any fantasies or turn ons.. I even hated it when I was asked what fantasy I had. I really felt that my fantasies were more of a romance level then sexual. So I didn't wish to share as I didn't feel that was what they wanted to hear.. I had allowed my partner to determine our sexual experiences.. that changed about 6 years ago when I found myself single once again and feeling as tho I had no idea what I was looking for. When I met my now husband.. I told him I was on a journey of exploration.. that I wasn't sure what my level of kink was if any at all.. and he signed up to help me discover.. I still have a hard time saying if I dont like something.. but no problem asking to try something..

[whipitout]

That sounds similar to me actually. I don’t worry about rejection so much as I don’t like to reject other people’s ideas... I’m glad you’ve found a way to explore with your hubby though 😊

[Stacie3]

It was a little easier with him simply because he was able to read me... and then asked the right questions to make me feel comfortable talking about it

[Femdomina]

I have no problem in communication with any guy I like about my preferences.
Why would I be shy about being dominant? It's nothing to be ashamed off, I'm proud of being dominant, I can dominate any guy I want, and they like it.

[whipitout]

Good on you for owning it and being proud 👏 The fear of rejection is something a lot of people face in many aspects of their life, especially when they think what they want to suggest is unusual. Your confidence is great!

[Femdomina]

Thanks 😎✌️

[seansin]

That one I will never do again I told my ex my my fantasies and everything but this was me coming off of being hooked on Norcos for 10 years and the doctor gave me some anxiety bipolar and then the Suboxone and I don't know if it f***** my head up and I was you know I guess her not showing me attention for so long and the medication kind of made me kind of not freaky or just more dominant and I hope I didn't ruin or anything I didn't do anything too dramatic. I didn't mean to actually you know I just tell her things I want to do and when she ignored me I started throwing in other people's names and stuff and like I said I don't think I do that again

[normalice]

I find it hard to bring up how important it is to me that a girl I'm with is into anal sex. I guess this is mostly because I don't have a satisfying explanation for why it's so important, but the drawback is if a girl shows even the smallest indication of interest in butt stuff, without me asking, I'm instantly obsessed.

[R4vedave]

I've been open and honest about every single one of my fantasies and kinks with my partner. Obviously I was nervous about telling her about the more extreme ones, since I was sure it'd turn her off, but thankfully she's accepted every single one, which still blows my mind to this day.

[whipitout]

She’s a keeper 😜

[R4vedave]

Oh absolutely. No way I'm ever letting her go haha

[lovetotasteyou]

I asked this same question on here yesterday and have not gotten any responses as of now.

[whipitout]

As you can see, there's been 14 responses from guys and 1 from girls, so girls obviously aren't responding as much. But also remember that I posted this before you did, so I likely would get responses from people more than you.

[goodlongman]

I don’t i love to give my partner whatever she wants and am not afraid to ask her to do anything... but most of the time I don’t get what I want

[Thatsamazing]

I struggle to tell her that I want to fuck girls that are not her. It's rather upsetting.

[SeanshterMonster]

That I hate a dispise sex and anything sexual due to my past relationships and stuff.

[justunlh]

Communication. You dont need words to understand eachother while embraced.

[whipitout]

I'd argue that it's a little tricky to say "Can we try anal?" just by cuddling, but I get you 😅

[Rob19777]

I know the woman I love is bi and I love her and I would never judge. There are a few things I get shy about when I talk to her or at least try to pay her certain compliments because I don't know how she would react. Like when I try paying her compliments that her breasts look sexy in a certain top or her thighs look hot because I don't want her getting mad that I'm talking to her in a demeaning tone which I'm not it's just compliments which is how I feel she's looking at the time.

[COMMODOREII]

I usually tell my partner everything.

[Lionboy79]

Never. I just tell her what I like to get what I want. ;)

[Guardian45]

I don't struggle with telling my GFs what I want or asking what she wants. I struggle with finding someone who can match my kink! I've dated one woman who could match me, and she was a nymphomaniac!😂🤣😅

[whipitout]

Hahahaha, the struggles of kinky people 😂

[CharlieDMX]

I don't struggle with that. She is honest to say what things she's willing to try and which things she is not.

But she does struggle with hers. She can't handle rejection that well

[whatyoudoing83]

Fantasy

[Anonymous]

I'm still a bit shy to tell a new girlfriend that I really love to watch a woman masturbate. Maybe I'm afraid that she would be too shy do go along with it or whatever. Usually what I'll do is encourage her to bring a sex toy into sex play and then it goes from there.

[whipitout]

I could be wrong, but I think you'd be surprised by how many women would do it to pleasure their partner. They may seem shy and embarrassed at first and obviously you wouldn't want to force them, but I don't see anything wrong with a little bit of encouragement by explaining how much it turns you on 🤷‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I think you're right! Plus a lot of women really like watching their partner masturbate just like we like watching them. LOL I remember the first time a girlfriend self-pleasured in front of me. (Without me asking. It was just her normal thing to do.) I got so turned on with an instant erection. She said, "It looks like you really like this".