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Why did God create man?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the grass
accosted by a man with bad intentions, what would you do?"
Sister Maria: "I would lift my habit, mother Superior."
Mother Superior (quite shocked): "And then what would you do?"
Sister Maria: "I would tell him to drop his pants."
Mother Superior (even more shocked): "For Heaven Sakes! ... and what then?"
Sister Maria: "Then I would run away... I can run much faster with my habit up than
he can with his pants down."
Two nuns are walking down an alley at night. Two guys jump out and start
raping them.
The first nun looks up to heaven and says, "Forgive them Father, for they know
not what they're doing."
The second nun looks up and says, "OMG! ... this one does!"
A lady tells her priest..."Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots. Immediately, the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over to the other and says, "Put the beads away, our prayers have been answered!"
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