Well, a finger hurting her means there is lot going on here. It is no one's fault -- some girls just tense up when anything goes near the vag. It can be a real issue.
The best thing you can do is become a consummate lover. Learn about massage, bath oils and body oils. Learn about giving her oral until she shakes with orgasm. (A tongue is usually OK even for the most uptight girls.) Make her learn to WANT YOU -- without rushing it. Then you can't beat her off with a stick.
A serve case of this is called Vaginismus. I am not saying this is her --- but it is a thing. For many of these girls, anal was an answer. You might say -- hey -- she can' take a finger in front -- I don't even dare look at the back! But you would be surprised. A vag has a "bottom" which can be pretty shallow for some girls. But still very satisfying. Guys with 3 inch penises are human too. When they meet a shallow girl -- all is good. (same with wide vs. thin -- everyone is different).
If you do go this route, then you will have to re-double your efforts. You can just put the head on her anus and push. You have to really learn a lot with books like The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino, etc. That said, I did date a vaginismus girl. She was built small too. I never got more than the head in her front. But through a lot of cooperation and understanding -- and maybe vanilla peach bubble baths -- her ass served us both very well.
Time and patience will do wonders. Make sure she is well lubricated. It may take several tries over many days or even weeks. Start slow. Go Slow. Unfortunately, not every woman can handle a large penis. The idea that a woman's vagina can accommodate any size penis based on the fact that it can stretch to deliver a baby is ridiculous and unfair. Childbirth is painful. Sex can be painful too. I've known many women who have had this issue and had to end relationships because of it. I hope the two of you can work it out. Good luck!
Any tips on things to do and things to avoid?
Use a lubricant if you need to. I have a female friend who had this issue. She tried moving her hips and flexing different muscles while her boyfriend gently pushed. It took almost an hour of trying and taking breaks and trying again before he was able to enter her. After that they always had to start out slow. Get her involved. She will need to try to relax and both of you will need to be very patient.
Thanks
Her pelvic muscles are tensed up too much. She should try to relax those muscles.
How can I help her relax
You can’t. She has to do it herself. I had the same issue in the past with sex, but not anymore as I trained myself to relax fully before my guy inserted his penis. I still have it during physical exams but not during sexual penetration. Fingers are still making me tense those muscles though
She's not properly turned on and she's tensing up becaude of that
Do you have my tips on how to turn her on enough so she isn't tensed up as it is our first time
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Any thing in particular?
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Make sure u work her a long time with foreplay so she naturally lubes up.
Make sure to buy some lube and use plenty of it, to aid penetration and to minimize discomfort.
I recommend you seek a professional's help. Or watch Sex Education on Netflix.
Mine is in the very thick category, it is big enough to get jobs in the adult entertainment industry.
I've been in situations where I was doing a new girl who was tight and even very tight.
Advice? Plenty of foreplay and oral, possibly make her orgasm first for the first few times.
Then make sure you are fully erect and hard, tell her you will be putting it in her soon, then keep kissing her and touching her, get her mind away from it and when you feel the moment is right aim, insert the head and push the rest into her, apply some strength to it if you have to. Yes it will hurt her but it will be the only way.
What I often do with girls who are nervous or afraid that the thickness of my dick would hurt her is I tend to lay her face down and do her in flat doggy position, usually will insert it into her while massaging her back.
Better foreplay or lube
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