What are some different ways to initiate sexy time/show parter you’re want them to initiate sexy time... that are, well, sexy?

[LittleTornado]

So, having been in a LONG, long l-term relationship...

I need some help, guys/girls/anyone...
What are some simple... starter moves for just showing you’re “in the mood”, or even for initiating sex/showing you want your SO to initiate sexy stuff further?

this probably sounds silly. But honestly, i never had to really try before. But these days, i want to do more initiating, as my boyfriend seems to want it as well. He’s tired after a long work week and can easily just fall asleep. But unfortunately, his energy often runs off on me... ugh.

I don't know, maybe it’s a form of excitement, but nothing too pressured? Something! All i know. Is that I’ve got to just hear some advice on... staying in the mood/getting things going - please. Lol.

[markscott]

When around him, wear more revealing clothing. Maybe go braless, and let your nipples show through the cloth of your blouse or t-shirt. When wearing no bra and lower cut, or more open shirt, lean into him more to show your tits. When wearing a tight jeans or shorts, find reasons to show your ass, bending over in front of him, with your ass toward him. After showering and drying off, walk around the house naked some, or with just a towel around you, or just panties or just a t-shirt. Don't be in a hurry to get dressed. Show some of your stuff to it's best advantage. While naked or toweled, do the same leaning toward, showing your tits, or bending forward, with your ass toward him. When bending over, with your ass toward him, when naked, or partially naked, let him see your ass, and your pussy between your legs. This is a very sexually stimulating position for most guys. Find more times to brush up against him, when naked or otherwise. Let him feel you tits against him. More often, be topless for one reason or another. When in the bathtub, have him wash your back, or you his back. Or wash him entirely, giving special attention to his dick and balls. Wear short skirts, with no panties. Find reasons to be naked, or partially naked. When going to bed, be naked, and cuddle up next to him. When first laying down, run your hand over his dick, play with it just a little, or more than a little. When he comes out of the shower or tub, dry him off. When going about the house, find reasons to lean against him, especially if you can lean your tits against him, or your ass against him. Doing these things, and similar things that you may think up, will tend to visually and physically sexually stimulate him. Hopefully, the sexual stimulation will get him more sexually motivated, and hard. You won't be able to do all of this, but do what works in your situation, and you can do most of it subtly.

[LittleTornado]

Dude - thank you! Lol. For some reason, shit like that just had been going..:in-noticed i guess for some time. The “obvious”. I appreciate your bluntness. Or..:that may be a harsh word for it. But thanks 👍

[PrudentGuy]

A few guy had commented before me and give good ideas. I'll try not to repeat.

While being spontaneous is a way to initiate sex, I personally like scheduled sex 😁😁😁

Ya, not "shall we have sex later", but have a nice meal or drink, then have a session of sex talk (doesn't matter how to or a review of the last few sessions), then arrange for a "special session" at least a week later.

This mean abstinence with the anticipation and looking forward to the day.

And include in it days where you will do some adult shopping, even book a nice hotel for it.

To me, this type of "initiation" is very romantic and sexy. And as we wait for the day to come, the anticipation creates excitement and makes every day/night high and horny.

Just an opinion. Enjoy.

[LittleTornado]

I like some of what you said but honestly that’s the issue for me. It’s ALWAYS SCHEDULED. It’s always starting the same way. He’s down for the weekend, resting, watching you tube shit. I go shower and get ready. We hang out. The bedrooms lit up nicely. It’s obvious it’s sex time. I miss the not knowing when, the just feeling in the mood and it just happening. Or me - actually getting a response from showing interest. It’s hard not living together atm, or when he does visit, my mother has moved in with me for the time being, so we are never actually alone fufly (i am pretty loud i guess so this is an issue).

[PrudentGuy]

Well, that scheduled, but NOT the kind of scheduling I wrote. Why not give the next "routine sex" (not scheduled) a missed. Then schedule one outside the routine. And really look forward to it with anticipation. This should spin e up sex, not the same old known routine.

[tibit]

Honestly, you can do almost anything, invite him for a shower with you, start with a massage, cook him some dinner and offer some dessert in the bedroom. It really depends on however you want to play it. Are you looking for something more sensual sultry, vanilla, extreme? Keep in mind kinks are a fun way to bring in the energy as well. You can do a food "test" with him blindfolded and drop a nipple in his mouth lol it. really depends on what you like.

[LittleTornado]

Well, right now we are stuck living apart. He had to move down state two years ago for a job, we also took a break for six months. We’ve gotten back together - a year and a half ago now, had been together 13 years total. So we mostly see each other just Friday night through Sunday night. The thing is, i feel totally uninhibited on the inside. But I’m horrible at coming up with shit, and feel slightly..:pressured to be someone I’m Not, for some reason, bc shit just has lost its “normalcy” for so damn long. We’ve grown so much closer, but there’s just this weird...”i don’t know what the hell turns you on anymore bc you never just get random boners when i do shit anymore... sex is always a scheduled thing” going on. And I’m tired of that. I’d like to see more from him, but it seems he’s wanting me to initiate it, or is needing e to. But at the same time, i don’t feel like he’s hardly interested but he says he is and at times shows he is - if i send nudes or whatever, I’ll get a intense response, there will be build up, and good sex... but - Idfk. I just basically wanna find a way to bring that inner woman - out. I guess. I’m unsure how to go about doing that. My anxiety takes over and it shuts me up. Fucking anxiety.

[LittleTornado]

Also... anything goes! Totally down for anything bc at this point, i feel my body - is his to do with as he pleases. I feel that, we are one, intimately, as a whole. And that rams anything goes - experimenting, trying anything. I like sultry, i like hard, everything in between. It’s just that initial... build up. I’m unsure how to get things going, i never really had to try. But now I’m wanting to find that within myself, that woman who just has fun with it, who finds excitement in seeing him get excited by watching me, aside from just getting naked and touching myself , some playful ideas that are mostly... weekend based. Until our house is finished in the summer, then all bets are off. Hah. Sorry, I’m also a double Virgo and i over analyze everything.

[tibit]

I see... well in that case there are a few things you can do. First off you need to understand, the random boners are mostly hormone driven in males and may diminish with age. It may also be less frequent due to diet and overall stability or pridictibility of lifestyle. As for initiating sex outside of a schedule, have you discussed this with him? Honestly, no one can read another person's mind. Try and have an open conversation and let them know you miss them taking initiative with regards to when you have sex and would like them to surprise you about when or where it would happen. Express to him a moment where you had felt alive and had that inner woman come out. As for your anxiety, I understand completely, I have delt with it in many different forms. But the reality is that if you want something you need to take steps in order to get it. The same way you are having an open and honest discussion with me about the topic is how you should approach it with your lover. Having that open discussion and talking about your wants is the best way to get it. Again we are not mind readers, and I'm pretty sure based on what you've told me he would be totally willling to talk to you about it and make minor tweaks to your sex life in order for you both to enjoy it more. I dont think you are missing sultry as you both seem to be passionate about your love life when given initial stimulation but I think through these open discussions you will be able to refocus how you have sex. I also dont believe either of you lack confidence and you have shown evidence of sensual and seductive behaviour in the past.

[Lloyd_the_Ace]

Have you tried lingerie? Role play? I recommend watching some porn for inspiration.

[LittleTornado]

Yeah, we do stuffs... heh :) I’m totally down for lots of stuff, bc i basically feel very, this may sound lame, but sex is a sacred thing to me, to us both. We are one another’s firsts - and have only ultimately been with one another. As far as actually having sex with, Aside from youth shit like getting fingered or getting/giving a hand job... but not even until someone would cum even back then. So pretty personal thing to us. Doesn’t mean we do f like fk experiment, and i lose the sense of... pressure when we’re actually having sex and have fun, fet i GI it. Just lately, with becoming a long distance partnership after 11 years... it’s fucky. I don't know. Sry I’m rambling on...

[LittleTornado]

We have yet to actually watch porn together - it’s something I’ve mentioned. Watching it and then acting it out. But what - scan through videos into you find something do-able? Sounds tedious... I’m not personally an avid porn watcher. Don’t have any go tos, lol. I’ve gots some lingerie i bring out...

[Taurus90]

I can help u

[LittleTornado]

How so? Lol. Just looking for some diff ideas for initiating stuffs/showing interest and being playful. Been together a long time - and the thing is that we’ve had to start living apart the last two years, after living together for ten. I’ve lost some sense of comfort, in ways, not while in the throes”, but in initiating. I dug the first response quite a lot - that didn’t make me feel any pressure. And to sorta respond to another persons response - I’m looking to initiate - whatever may happen. I’m down for anything, really. I’d like to switch things up. I’m... not the greatest at starting things like role playing but can catch onto it pretty damn well ;), want to become the inner sexy, playful, no inhibition woman i am on the inside. How do i pull her out, without any... encouragement though?

[Taurus90]

Pm me please

[B2281]

Sometimes I'd just like it if she just went for what she wants.

[LittleTornado]

I get that vibe from him... and i wanna be that way, but lately, with changes in the relationship... i just feel this sort of pressure. The first comment was the first that actually made me think... those are things I’d feel comfortable forts me doing, when out that way, for some reason. No pressure in those kinds of things... However. My mother lives with me right now. So that also kinda fucks things up a bit. :/

[Anonymous]

For me, just nice touch. If she traces her nails on my skin and tickles and touches me nicely everywhere I'm ready to go. Other ways are nice kisses, kissing my neck, kissing or suvking my ears, I'm very hard and ready! Touch and affection is huge! Other ways would be surprise lingerie, etc. Use toys!

[LittleTornado]

Doing these things... just as you’re laying together, watching a movie or something? And then your mind goes in the gutter, and you begin to react - and also show her your interest as well? Bc I’ll do this kinda shit but get no reaction. It’s more or less just seen as a loving gesture 🙄