What’s your opinion on hookup culture?

[Anonymous]

I think like anything else, it has its pros and cons. I think it's mostly good, as I'm not religious or conservative, so I don't believe in "no sex outside of commitment/marriage" nonsense. But it's definitely not without its negative side.

Pro is that we can enjoy our sexuality without the confines of a relationship, that we don't enter relationships just because we can't have sex outside of committed relationships, which is a horrible idea and leads to even more dysfunctional relationships

Con - in my opinion, the main con is that people, especially men, use casual sex as a way to not connect with people or face fears about connecting with women/men. So instead of having more fulfilling and connected casual sex partners, many people are aiming for disposability. We objectify the object of our lust and diminish them to just fulfilling a sexual need. Sometimes that's genuinely what we want/need and that can be empowering, dont get me wrong. But it seems also kind of damaging in some ways, or further perpetuates issues with fears of intimacy that many people already have. The casual sex isn't the issue inherently - it's how we often do it and how we don't focus on mental health in terms of our relationships with love, affection, and other people in the romantic/sexual space.

People with low self-esteem, commitment issues related to issues with themselves, fears about love/relationships they aren't facing, abandonment, etc. often turn to casual sex as a way to have fun, yes, but also to self-soothe in a way. I think a lot of our emotional needs get wrapped up in the need to hookup and come out in different, interesting ways.

[Cynicaldreamer]

It's one of the main reasons why decent people that want real, meaning relationships can't find them anymore.
Hookups are a cop out for people that are afraid to commit or just want to sleep around. Instead of taking your time getting to know someone, and see if you're compatible with them, you can sleep with them, and if you wish, choose never to see him or her again... pathetic. I mean good for those of you that like that sort of lifestyle!

But it's definitely not for everyone and in my opinion, is more of a hindrance to dating.

[Anonymous]

We’ve had a number of sexually liberal ideas in the last few decades, but mo
stly it’s been localized in female culture and magnified by technology. Girls already had the upper hand, and technology raises that relative power. They want that feeling of a new relationship and will churn though guys to have that expecting that that feeling is never supposed to go away.

Guys responded as well, with girls trending toward looking for that next new guy, the guys know it’s not a sound investment so just nod along to the casual stuff. It’s not that they strongly prefer casual stuff over a relationship, on the contrary, I think they’re keen on a relationship, but the way things are seems the safest and simplest way to moderate satisfaction. It’s far from ideal, but they’re along for the ride because what else is there to do?

We know from other data that women discard their feeling for others much quicker than men, allowing them to get over breakups more easily. But we can also see it reflected on this data. Women moving on to the next guy sooner. So men’s response makes sense too: if they can’t have something long term then they’re not going to buy into that. They’re either going to have something long term or they’re going to go casual, and if women are always trying to trade up and power through shorter relationships then men are really only left with casual. Hence hookup culture.

[Lynx122]

I don't have an opinion. People have always been fucking around the pill and the internet have just made it even easier but people from other times would be doing the exact same thing if they lived in this time. Personally I get more out of one girl giving me all of herself than fucking 20 different girls a month but I don't care what others do.

I have a housemate who last Saturday we went to a party he met a girl he'd already banged before by coincidence he took her home at 3 am kicked her out by 10 then got ready and met a girl down at the river (he already had that set up before the weekend) at like 1 took her home ate and watched TV with her and they were fucking at 9.

I don't know how you can even spend that much time on sex like wtf? The organisation alone is too much of a turnoff for me. But he seems addicted to the chase or something I don't know some guys just need to get a different girl everytime or it's boring I don't know. He said a few times that this girl might be one he'd meet a few times but it never actually happened. XD

He's a great guy and a great friend though I just accept him the way he is, it doesn't bother me. I just couldn't live that lifestyle.

[ManOnFire]

I'm game for the hookup.

[mistixs]

It's harmful

[mne25]

I am againts hookup culture. I am not against the hookups themselfs. I am against slut shaming and I think everyone who has trully discovered that is how they want to connect with the preffered sex, should have as many hookups as theyd like, as long as theyre not hurting others or themselfs. The problem is I dont think I've ever met someone who isn't hurting themselfs and/or others. I feel like men do it because its glorified in the culture theyre in, and women do it out of built up disappointment in men so they feel like sex is all that they can get from men. I know many women and men who reported guilt and feelings of emptiness and like there's no going back after getting involved in it a lot. Ita because they haven't trully discovered thats what they want after having an honest discasion with themselfs about what they trully want in the sexuality and dating part of their life. It often comes from some dark and sad places, like feeling like you dont deserve someones actual commitment deep down or paranoia that you will be used for sex anyways if you get attached.

[Trolloween]

I'm not into it, I only go for long term monogamy. Maybe hookup culture is more common but I don't know, its definitely more openly discussed but even with tinder are people really having more sex than in the 60s? It doesn't seem like any older people describe the past as being celibate.

Doesn't really matter to me, people should do whatever makes them happy and if that means lining up 15 dicks and going crazy then I am OK with it. I just won't be one of the dicks waiting to share a girl, ill be at home with my own.

[Anoniemus]

Hookup culture greatly benefits men. It's an easy way to get sex with no strings attached. It can be great for women too if they want to be casual. The issue is that there are a lot of women that feel pressured that they need to be this way or it's something that should be done when, honestly, you don't have to participate in it.

I don't delve into the hook up culture but I think it's an excellent option for those who truly don't want deep emotional/romantic relationships and prefer the carnal aspect of it.

[DictumVeritas]

As a man, it's a boon to be able to get the milk without buying the cow so to speak, but when I matured, I saw it for the evil that it is. I wanted to settle down and instantly started rejecting the women with high notch counts because I found that they no longer had the ability to form a lasting relationship.

Hookup culture damages men, but it completely wrecks women and makes them ineligible for descent relationships. Women also retain DNA from men she has slept with for life and men really don't want to marry the DNA soup from a ton of other men.

In short, hookup culture is destroying the Descent mothers who could have been and with them the coherent family.

It's time to get our morals back people. I'm old - ish (not quite ready to admit it yet) and no one told me how destructive it is, but listen to experience talking.

Hookup culture is destroying young lives and the family as a whole.

[Purplekite77]

I don't like it. I participate in hookups every now and then because I like the feel of being appreciated and "loved" for tge moment but afterwards when we're finished I immediately feel bad and scummy like I've drained my body. Hooking up is hurtful to me in my case I think. I fall into a deep sadness afterwards. But being in a relationship and doing it with someone who'll be there the next day and actually care for you is different. I actually feel cared for so it makes my heart feel warm I guess.

I'm not explaining it properly but I think doing it with someone you like instead of whoever is better for people mentally.

[PrimalInstinct]

There's a saying - birds of a feather flock together.

All in all those in the "hookup" culture predominantly only attract others of a similar "whatever" mindset. Their behavior predominantly removes them from the dating circles of people seeking permanent or meaningful relationships.

The behavior itself shows a lot of lacking respect (both self-respect & respect to others), a lot of lack in responsibility (how many do you think quit their job when things get tough?), and a lack of maturity. All in all undesirable to decent folk

[TheFlak38]

Men don't want to settle because women don't appreciate men and everything is against us. The boobs are not worth the squeeze.
Women don't want to settle before 30 because they are unable to go against the urge of banging a billion men and suck as many resources from them as possible. After that they seek the dumb nice who finishes last to settle down. "Im not playing games. Im looking for something serious!" oh really? now you want something serious? what about the past decade when you were whoring yourself?

[fgalvan]

I don't think well for myself I'm looking for better I'm just looking for the feeling. That short away from the reality. It may not be someones morals if its right. Or wrong but its up to the individual to decide that and if the ones involved are consenting adults then why not.. I recently got back to this lifestyle im upfront I'm just looking for a friend to spend time with. I was married for 5 and before 15 years i have lost my will to be tied down. I gave my all for years and git quickly replace once i wasn't needed. So i keep it casual if i come across someone who knows but until then. This lifestyle is for me

[Warmapplecrumble]

It worries me about my future generations and how easy it would be for cooperations to use propaganda to manipulate them to whatever profits them best.

A family is hard to manipulate. It has a foundation with values and culture etc set up by that family for generations.
A single person who has no backing is more likely to be depressed, spend more money, have more diseases commit crime or become workaholic etc etc. These outcomes result in more money for companies and cooperations.

There is a reason why they advertise certain movies, songs. It's to produce a generation that suits their needs to produce the most profit. Sadly a happy generation with real foundations isn't one that'll generate good GDP.

[noone89]

Yeah as a woman my inspiration comes from knowing woman are treating a certain way and are expected to be a certain way when it comes to having to completely extinguish any parts of ourselves that might not be “wifey material” who tf wants to spend their precious life wasting it just trying to be a perfect woman who is worthy enough to get married? Fuck that have sex and get moneyyyy 😭

[JSmuve]

I hate it. It cheapens relationships, devalues sex, and reduces you to a disposable commodity. And that's if you can find someone to hook up with you. In a culture where hooking up is apparently oh so prevalent, its difficult to not feel ugly and undesirable when it seems like you're the only person who's not going around having casual sex.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

My opinion is it promotes people spending more time on things that aren't productive, (unless you produce a child from a hookup in that case hats off to you). It's already hard as it is to catch up with modern mathematics (takes you 10 years to learn any field), and people wonder why we don't have another Gauss or Euler

[beldath]

Hooking up is fine for temporarily taking care of your sexual needs, however if you do that long term, probably get more than a married couple.

I personally prefer something longer term, but hookups would help with my physical needs until I find someone good.

[Unit1]

Something i wish i could be part of since most women i see don't want any relationships nor even a hookup.

but since I'm very busy working full time and studying full time simultaneously and pay for everything out of my own pocket I've been feeling like a slave, who has no time, no money and no energy left to participate in it.

of course i prefer relationships but i will not reject hooking up and one night stands.

[ashley1616]

i am one of the 41% that at this point in life prefers casual sex. i have a few FWB's both male and female. Right now for m it's about enjoying life. Yes in a couple years I'm sure I will center in on finding a hopefully life partner, whomever that might be. But for now I enjoy casual dating.

[Mehzmeh]

It's because, people want to live like there is no tomorrow. All comes from people no longer caring about old time living. And, people are always looking for the greener grass. Which means most of the time people end up with someone they hate. Or, below their standard's.

[ProfessionalMusician]

Well probably because if the one your with doesn't seem to have everything you are looking for you are going to look for someone who is your idea of best of available girls. Everyone has different tastes so please keep that in mind it is all about age and experience will be determing factors.

[Anonymous]

As long as you use protection. There are still risks, but I think it’s okay to get with someone with out the desire to commit to them. After my ex and I broke up we still had sex and in some ways it helped and others made it worse. I don’t enjoy hooking up with strangers, but every once in a while I don’t mind.

[505error]

I’m not into hookups and never been into that either. Most people I’ve encountered while being single were only looking for hookups, so it was quite difficult to find someone who was looking for a relationship.

[midnightmoon05]

Sick learning how things are changing. Human behavior for instend gratification.
Easy sex with no responibiltiies/feelings. Downhill to somewhere.. i don't know where... lost of family unity, value, tradition and love.

[djmzes]

Simple

[Alpha09]

I think it can either be positive or extremely toxic. Just like relationships. Not everyone can do hookups since they aren't emotionally wired for it, and there's nothing wrong with that. But some of us are. As long as the individuals involved are being safe and not homewrecking it's perfectly fine and normal in my opinion. casual sex is something I prefer at this point in my life, and that may change. Or not, who knows. If you don't like it don't take part. Simple.

[Miristheiss]

Gross... and a lie.
Hooking up with several random people isn't liberating and sex positive and "name your bs".
It is empty and unfufilling and will never lead to contentment. You will feel used.

[ohshee]

Yes it is kinda crazy. I think people just jump in to things it's a throw away world everything is made cheap so when it breaks we just get another one and thats How people are raised now a days, and they carry it in to their relationships

[Gaming_dragon]

There is a good side and a bad side

The good side - it lets you experiment , and you get find more about yourself and what turns you on

The bad side - your at risk of STDs , unwanted pregnancies and sometimes rape or false accusations of rape

I'm for hookup culture which is why i always have a condom just in case

[lightbulb27]

we took values out of society, there's no foundation... so humans devolve to animal selfish instincts. But even golden retrievers will mate and stay together for a while for the kids.

It's a FANTASTIC idea... to screw over a society, oppress reproduction, and divide assets and weaken the country. It's a bad idea for those involved in it in terms of building a life.

[vjones819]

Honestly, I’m a really health conscious person, I worry about herpes, crabs, chlamydia, and the worst, HIV, etc... and the thought of doing it with someone I know nothing about, worries me for my health! But nobody that’s just hooking up is gonna wanna hear me asking if they got tested for HIV yet; or if they’ve got herpes or sum! So my opinion; it’s unsafe, and not just for STI/STD reasons! What if a girl gets impregnated, and she hooked up with different guys! Y’know? It’s sorta risky!

[ObscuredBeyond]

We're meant to complement each other's lives toward a greater whole. Hookup culture reduces everyone to a scratching post. And you wonder where toxic attitudes come from? You don't love, honor, and cherish a piece of tree bark or a sharp wall corner. You just be thankful it was there to get the itch out.

However, self-discipline of the mind and soul is essential to avoiding being quite so itchy in the first place.

Never let the itch rule over you. Libido is a cruel master.

[Anonymous]

Hookup culture is a made up concept. This shit was always happening but now people just talk about it more openly. Throughout human history we've been getting our rocks off and have had concubines, mistresses, and the like.

It's normal human behavior and as long as we're safe there's nothing morally wrong with it.

[frostwalrus]

Probably bad because it demoralizes people and deteriorates male-female relations, not to mention inflames the spread of STD's. But none of this effects me so I personally don't care.

[weebHuntr]

Hookup culture happens due to lack of maturity and rejection sensitive dysphoria. People just aren't used to being hurt and it causes them to stay in their shell. Source: am 22 and goes to uni

[PapaD]

When you find the right person you will both know I believe that with all my heart if one of you is still looking don’t fight it or try to change it the relationship will not work. The right person is out there I promise. I have been married for 40 years and wouldn’t change a thing. I stopped looking 40 years ago.

[MadMan19]

Iv been lonely damn near all my life. A good honest relationship sounds amazing. Then again im a horny f*** so a quicky or someone to come back to a couple times sounds pretty damn nice too

[bamesjond0069]

Its ruining serious relationships. Why get married when i can sleep with different girls all the time? Especially when most girls suck ass i wouldn't be caught dead in a relationship w most of them. Its not like im giving up on the perfect housewife. Lmao

[catj9999]

Well I dont really care about it, if that's what people want to do so be it, but I'd rather my partner didn't. And its personally something I wouldn't do

[Shubhamgupta]

Hookup culture is western culture and they like it but in India we just like it but don't want to follow it like boys want to sleep with numerous girls but want to marry a girl who is still virgin, this double standards has been create a chaos for the girl and boys also when they find out about previous relationship of each other and felt guilty for it so in real it is just your life wheather follow the western culture fully or follow your 💓

[winterfox10]

That graphic certainly doesn't show what was going on with anyone I knew. The people I was around basically seemed to wish they were getting laid, but refused to take the steps out of their comfort zones to do it... It was kinda sad, actually.

[es20490446e]

Why they do it, I don't fucking care.

Fuck them off, delete their contact, and THANKS YOU.

I don't have a second to waste to psychoanalyze fucked up people. That's their parents and their therapists job.

[chriscdi]

i dont get it either, just like polar bears, love is almost extinct, thats why i have very little faith in finding a girl to settle with, i might just let her come to me or im not getting married 🤷🏻‍♂️

[arius-11]

Social media doesn't really help the situation either as it is less personal, like you could slide into people's dm, there's no investment, nothing to lose. The culture of the country also has a big impact on how sexually frustrated we are and how well we can handle it when we are.

[Daniela1982]

Depends if you want to go for something lasting or something fleeting and be known as a Ho who gets plowed as much as a farmer's field.

[LoU_Hades]

It's boring. For really satisfying intimacy needs a couple some time, that isn't given if both partners value mutual loyalty very low.

[Pamina]

Wel, they're college kids. Of course they want to have their fun and make experiences before settling down.

[Papajohns]

Everyone talking about hookup culture meanwhile I'm sitting here as a serial monogamist for the past 10 years

[Jamie05rhs]

If there's no commitment then of course they will always be looking for someone better. That's the whole point of having a casual relationship. You get to have sex while continuing to shop around.

[LJOILMAN]

The hookup culture causes a lot of emotional damage and it's proven.. A lot of times people lie to get sex and in return someone catches feelings and gets hurt.. Sex for women is a much more emotional experience than it is for men..

[Usernamesrdumb]

This is contradicting the article i just read on more men are celibate than women. https://bestlifeonline.com/celibate-young-men-survey/

[CamilaP]

it's just how things are nowadays, i don't have any problem with it

[AudreyB88]

They see it as being sexually liberated. I perceive it to be overindulgence in one's basic animalistic nature, and form of sexual narcissism.
If you choose to follow the path of Hedonism, do so with regret or guilt.

[s2firestar]

Lost 2 gfs to it. Now I am not giving anyone chances. friends with benefits is the best I will offer to anyone.

[hellionthesagereborn]

I hate it honestly. I think its awful that people would trade something meaningful for something meaningless. But unfortunately this is our society now.

[Browneye57]

Wrong. It's just a cheap way to get sex. But it will NEVER compete with a real man-woman romantic relationship. EVER.

[englisc]

It's toxic. The people who think that it's a good thing are mostly damaged people.

[Neo22]

I think it's not a culture... its just the availability !! Nowadays you can always find more... but if you have a good catch.. someone you really care for... you will settle down and trade all for him alone 😍❤️

[Iwillfindyou21]

I honestly never understood it. I think sex should be done with someone who's really important for you

[sp33d]

Used to take part in it. The end goal is sex not some kind of emotional connection. My opinion is that it doesn't work for a lot of people.

[FriendlyEnigma]

I dont see myself finding anyone to start a relationship with, so while i wait for love, i just try to hook up to make up for the lonliness :)

[LeoTheCar]

I want to be close with someone and in a relationship to have sex. It's sad now feels like girls all have multiple guys and aren't willing to just date one.