What’s your opinion on hookup culture?

Question

Why it seems nobody wants to settle or is always looking for someone better than the person they could be with?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think like anything else, it has its pros and cons. I think it's mostly good, as I'm not religious or conservative, so I don't believe in "no sex outside of commitment/marriage" nonsense. But it's definitely not without its negative side.

Pro is that we can enjoy our sexuality without the confines of a relationship, that we don't enter relationships just because we can't have sex outside of committed relationships, which is a horrible idea and leads to even more dysfunctional relationships

Con - in my opinion, the main con is that people, especially men, use casual sex as a way to not connect with people or face fears about connecting with women/men. So instead of having more fulfilling and connected casual sex partners, many people are aiming for disposability. We objectify the object of our lust and diminish them to just fulfilling a sexual need. Sometimes that's genuinely what we want/need and that can be empowering, dont get me wrong. But it seems also kind of damaging in some ways, or further perpetuates issues with fears of intimacy that many people already have. The casual sex isn't the issue inherently - it's how we often do it and how we don't focus on mental health in terms of our relationships with love, affection, and other people in the romantic/sexual space.

People with low self-esteem, commitment issues related to issues with themselves, fears about love/relationships they aren't facing, abandonment, etc. often turn to casual sex as a way to have fun, yes, but also to self-soothe in a way. I think a lot of our emotional needs get wrapped up in the need to hookup and come out in different, interesting ways.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

It's one of the main reasons why decent people that want real, meaning relationships can't find them anymore.
Hookups are a cop out for people that are afraid to commit or just want to sleep around. Instead of taking your time getting to know someone, and see if you're compatible with them, you can sleep with them, and if you wish, choose never to see him or her again... pathetic. I mean good for those of you that like that sort of lifestyle!

But it's definitely not for everyone and in my opinion, is more of a hindrance to dating.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We’ve had a number of sexually liberal ideas in the last few decades, but mo
stly it’s been localized in female culture and magnified by technology. Girls already had the upper hand, and technology raises that relative power. They want that feeling of a new relationship and will churn though guys to have that expecting that that feeling is never supposed to go away.

Guys responded as well, with girls trending toward looking for that next new guy, the guys know it’s not a sound investment so just nod along to the casual stuff. It’s not that they strongly prefer casual stuff over a relationship, on the contrary, I think they’re keen on a relationship, but the way things are seems the safest and simplest way to moderate satisfaction. It’s far from ideal, but they’re along for the ride because what else is there to do?

We know from other data that women discard their feeling for others much quicker than men, allowing them to get over breakups more easily. But we can also see it reflected on this data. Women moving on to the next guy sooner. So men’s response makes sense too: if they can’t have something long term then they’re not going to buy into that. They’re either going to have something long term or they’re going to go casual, and if women are always trying to trade up and power through shorter relationships then men are really only left with casual. Hence hookup culture.

Lynx122 · Accepted Answer

I don't have an opinion. People have always been fucking around the pill and the internet have just made it even easier but people from other times would be doing the exact same thing if they lived in this time. Personally I get more out of one girl giving me all of herself than fucking 20 different girls a month but I don't care what others do.

I have a housemate who last Saturday we went to a party he met a girl he'd already banged before by coincidence he took her home at 3 am kicked her out by 10 then got ready and met a girl down at the river (he already had that set up before the weekend) at like 1 took her home ate and watched TV with her and they were fucking at 9.

I don't know how you can even spend that much time on sex like wtf? The organisation alone is too much of a turnoff for me. But he seems addicted to the chase or something I don't know some guys just need to get a different girl everytime or it's boring I don't know. He said a few times that this girl might be one he'd meet a few times but it never actually happened. XD

He's a great guy and a great friend though I just accept him the way he is, it doesn't bother me. I just couldn't live that lifestyle.

mne25 · Answer

I am againts hookup culture. I am not against the hookups themselfs. I am against slut shaming and I think everyone who has trully discovered that is how they want to connect with the preffered sex, should have as many hookups as theyd like, as long as theyre not hurting others or themselfs. The problem is I dont think I've ever met someone who isn't hurting themselfs and/or others. I feel like men do it because its glorified in the culture theyre in, and women do it out of built up disappointment in men so they feel like sex is all that they can get from men. I know many women and men who reported guilt and feelings of emptiness and like there's no going back after getting involved in it a lot. Ita because they haven't trully discovered thats what they want after having an honest discasion with themselfs about what they trully want in the sexuality and dating part of their life. It often comes from some dark and sad places, like feeling like you dont deserve someones actual commitment deep down or paranoia that you will be used for sex anyways if you get attached.

djmzes · Answer

Simple

Purplekite77 · Answer

I don't like it. I participate in hookups every now and then because I like the feel of being appreciated and "loved" for tge moment but afterwards when we're finished I immediately feel bad and scummy like I've drained my body. Hooking up is hurtful to me in my case I think. I fall into a deep sadness afterwards. But being in a relationship and doing it with someone who'll be there the next day and actually care for you is different. I actually feel cared for so it makes my heart feel warm I guess.

I'm not explaining it properly but I think doing it with someone you like instead of whoever is better for people mentally.

noone89 · Answer

Yeah as a woman my inspiration comes from knowing woman are treating a certain way and are expected to be a certain way when it comes to having to completely extinguish any parts of ourselves that might not be “wifey material” who tf wants to spend their precious life wasting it just trying to be a perfect woman who is worthy enough to get married? Fuck that have sex and get moneyyyy 😭

Bee-Hatch · Answer

The world changed with the arrival of internet dating. It became throwaway.

AlienParasite · Answer

Not my thing, but if some people are into it, it's fine as long as they are honest about it with everybody

Trolloween · Answer

I'm not into it, I only go for long term monogamy. Maybe hookup culture is more common but I don't know, its definitely more openly discussed but even with tinder are people really having more sex than in the 60s? It doesn't seem like any older people describe the past as being celibate.

Doesn't really matter to me, people should do whatever makes them happy and if that means lining up 15 dicks and going crazy then I am OK with it. I just won't be one of the dicks waiting to share a girl, ill be at home with my own.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Depends if you want to go for something lasting or something fleeting and be known as a Ho who gets plowed as much as a farmer's field.

PrimalInstinct · Answer

There's a saying - birds of a feather flock together.

All in all those in the "hookup" culture predominantly only attract others of a similar "whatever" mindset. Their behavior predominantly removes them from the dating circles of people seeking permanent or meaningful relationships.

The behavior itself shows a lot of lacking respect (both self-respect & respect to others), a lot of lack in responsibility (how many do you think quit their job when things get tough?), and a lack of maturity. All in all undesirable to decent folk

PondyPand · Answer

plenty of people don't do that. stop generalising

505error · Answer

I’m not into hookups and never been into that either. Most people I’ve encountered while being single were only looking for hookups, so it was quite difficult to find someone who was looking for a relationship.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

I hate it honestly. I think its awful that people would trade something meaningful for something meaningless. But unfortunately this is our society now.

englisc · Answer

It's toxic. The people who think that it's a good thing are mostly damaged people.

Anoniemus · Answer

Hookup culture greatly benefits men. It's an easy way to get sex with no strings attached. It can be great for women too if they want to be casual. The issue is that there are a lot of women that feel pressured that they need to be this way or it's something that should be done when, honestly, you don't have to participate in it.

I don't delve into the hook up culture but I think it's an excellent option for those who truly don't want deep emotional/romantic relationships and prefer the carnal aspect of it.

MadMan19 · Answer

Iv been lonely damn near all my life. A good honest relationship sounds amazing. Then again im a horny f*** so a quicky or someone to come back to a couple times sounds pretty damn nice too

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Sick learning how things are changing. Human behavior for instend gratification.
Easy sex with no responibiltiies/feelings. Downhill to somewhere.. i don't know where... lost of family unity, value, tradition and love.

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

It worries me about my future generations and how easy it would be for cooperations to use propaganda to manipulate them to whatever profits them best.

A family is hard to manipulate. It has a foundation with values and culture etc set up by that family for generations.
A single person who has no backing is more likely to be depressed, spend more money, have more diseases commit crime or become workaholic etc etc. These outcomes result in more money for companies and cooperations.

There is a reason why they advertise certain movies, songs. It's to produce a generation that suits their needs to produce the most profit. Sadly a happy generation with real foundations isn't one that'll generate good GDP.

ohshee · Answer

Yes it is kinda crazy. I think people just jump in to things it's a throw away world everything is made cheap so when it breaks we just get another one and thats How people are raised now a days, and they carry it in to their relationships

lightbulb27 · Answer

we took values out of society, there's no foundation... so humans devolve to animal selfish instincts. But even golden retrievers will mate and stay together for a while for the kids.

It's a FANTASTIC idea... to screw over a society, oppress reproduction, and divide assets and weaken the country. It's a bad idea for those involved in it in terms of building a life.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Short term benefit. Long term problem.

What’s your opinion on hookup culture?

Most Helpful Girls

Most Helpful Guys

Related Questions

What Girls & Guys Said

Latest Questions