Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Should I be upset? How should I even bring this one up?

I’m really trying hard to get over it but 🤷🏻‍♀️ girls get upset easily. For the first time in my life I felt used for sex. I’m not really mad at him just a weird feeling. We are married so don’t freak out. He starts kissing on me then goes straight to sex... gets off... and fell asleep for a few seconds. I didn’t enjoy it much at all. Almost told him to stop in the middle but didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Guess he was horny and just wanted to get off? I don’t like when he’s on top of me and I can’t move much. Feel like I should be doing stuff but can’t really move anything. I don't know how to even bring this up. I got him sexy stuff for Valentine’s Day... kind of thought we would bust it all out this weekend since we both have Monday off. Nope. He said the dog was barking during sex but he was not. He was just in a rush or something. I don't know. Just a very strange feeling. I usually enjoy everything. 😕
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Look, I just want you to understand that there are times that men just want to have a quickie. Now, I’m sure your husband loves you a lot but he is also human so there are times when he is going to want it with you and it won’t always be convenient. When it comes to marriages and relationships, we all have to make sacrifices and accommodate our partner’s needs if they are reasonable of course. If my wife wanted to go out to dinner with me because she hasn’t been able to see me much because of the new schedule at work, but I’m tired and just want to hang around the house, sleep, or play videos then what do I do? Well, I’d suck it up and go out to dinner with my wife because she’s my wife, I love her, and her demand is reasonable enough. Now, if she’s always asking me to go to dinner with her, regardless of my work schedule, and never giving me time to do things by myself, then that would be unreasonable. I understand you’re upset with your husband, so certainly bring this up to him and be completely honest with your how you feel. You’re not his property and he’s not yours, but there are certain things a new couple will be uncomfortable doing in the beginning of the relationship, that they will be okay or comfortable with as they become closer overtime. For example, I’m sure your husband may come up behind you and start holding you, kissing you, saying he loves you into your ear, etc. Now, could he have done this day one or even week one of meeting you? No, probably not. As we spend time with people, we get more comfortable with them. Now, of course everyone has their own boundaries.

    • Thank you

  • So sorry you felt that way. I feel like married couples are going to have quickies at the instigation of either partner from time to time. It's part of being married. Do you enjoy seeing him satisfied and happy in the general sense? This is just another way of his getting there. Not all sex is about completing and fulfilling the needs of both partners. My wife wants a quickie once in awhile and I give it to her. She understands that she will get to reciprocate at some point when I just want to take her roughly, spank her hard, and take her vigorously up the ass. She loves when we're into it even if she wasn't necessarily in the mood to start with.

    Is that helpful?

    • Thanks. I guess so. Just thought since we don’t have much and had plenty of time right now wasn’t the best time for a quickie. 😕 especially when this weekend is supposed to be romantic and it’s basically almost over. I felt rushed Friday night too now that I think about it.

    • Talk to him. Be calm, direct, and matter of fact. Here's a My Take I wrote that my help.

      How to Talk to Your SO About Sex ↗

Most Helpful Girls

  • If it happens again, it's time for a nice long talk with him.

    There are times my husband and I have quickies because one of us needs to get it off, but, it's always with some tenderness and an also an understanding that we both have needs.

    That said, I've made it pretty clear to my husband early in our marriage that I expect our sessions to be tender, loving and enjoyable to both of us. I told him up front, "the more I enjoy it, the more you'll get it" ... he caught on quickly !!!

  • He’s your husband? Talk to him. Is talking to your husband about your feelings difficult?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

How many dates did you wait to have sex with your current partner?
What if a woman wanted to be a man because she can have all the sex that she wants to has a man without being criticized for it?
Do you think it sounds intrusive to tell another person to shave their private area before sex?
Is it normal for fuck buddy to want to hug and sleep together?

What Girls & Guys Said

1 14

  • It's something men have to learn that step 1, is seduce the woman and get her off like...3 times. Then, pleasure yourself. It's really that simple. How you get him to realize that, is a question for women to figure out.

    Maybe he gets a "buy" on that every now and then, but he's definitely a knuckle dragger in the romance department.

    He needs to go to school and learn how to play with his woman...

    • Yeah thanks.

  • I hate that!!!

  • Jess if this is or becomes a pattern you're just gonna have to say hey, I need more foreplay time and when we do missionary position we need to allow me some space to move. It's okay to make your wishes known! 😊

    • Thanks! I’ll say next time! He just gets so but hurt when I say things. Like I’m downing his manhood

  • he has somewhere else to be. i don't know where that is but if he's not going to be honest about it then he's going to mess this thing up

  • There may be a time when you say or gesture that you want floor slapping oral sex and nothing else. You want to licked furiously, cum urgently and then wrap up in your comforter and drop off to blissful sleep without even mopping up. Its all about you and you hope he understands and if he needs to rub it out while you sleep, that's OK. I think that should be understood in marriage.

  • I'm more worried that you are married. Sounds lame.

  • You should talk to him. Explain how you feel. He may be unaware of female urges and orgasm. So you should make him realize that it's sex, not a rape. It should be enjoyable for both.

  • That’s a really weird excuse to not have sex. Does he know you don’t enjoy him on top?

    • I love him on top!

    • But you said you don’t like him on top and you can’t move much

    • I don’t like when he’s on top and I can’t move much.

  • Yeah you're right women get upset easy. What's worse is they get upset and keep it to themself and stew. If this really bothers you you need to say something. He can't read your mind. If it's not you need to let it go before it festers into something big


  • Too bad that he's not giving you the attention you deserve.

    Do some cowgirl so you can be on top.

  • You can be upset. But at the end of the day. Why? If you didn't like it, you could have stopped. And also, there may be sometimes that he will not enjoy it a couple days with you.. you never know. He probably has, but doesn't make a big deal of it, because men get used a lot by women and dont make it a huge deal...

    However, communication is key. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Resolve this between you.

  • Yep you need to talk to him about it especially if its a marriage.

  • Dont take me wrong but i think the spark is missing in your bedroom and he doesn't understand it soon situation might get worse and you can't keep quiet forever and the day you something related this , i dont think he will be able to handle it

  • I would definitely give him a talk that you are having too much sex , threaten to end your marriage (it’s not right if he bases your marriage based on sex

    • Actually I’m the one that wants sex all the time.

    • I hope he isn’t complaining

  • I think you should be upset. Tell him to not have sex if he's not gonna get you off as well.

Latest Questions

Is it true that female pussies come in different shapes and sizes?
Am I wrong for refusing to have sex with my wife after she essentially forced me to live in a dead bedroom for the last 5 years?
If you want a man to go down on you, how do you approach him? What do you do to let him know you want him to go down on you?
Why is forbidden sex the most intimate and sensual sex?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Should I be upset? How should I even bring this one up?