Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Would you prefer to fool around with other people before finding "the one", or skip all of it and just go straight to finding "the one"?

Some people would like to have fun with having lots of sex with lots of people before setting down with "the one". Meanwhile, others wouldn't care about sex with various partners and are only after finding the first and only person they'll have sex with for the rest of their lives AKA "the one". Which one are you?
Fool around/have sex with others first.
Vote A
Go straight to finding "the one".
Vote B
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
+1 y
Let's say you knew who "the one" was because it was revealed to you. Now answer the question.
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • In answer to the basic question, I would rather fool around - as awful as that might sound. The answer in light of your update changes things.

    To the basic question, fooling around is the way I got to know women and what I wanted in a woman. Yes, sex was very much a part of that as it is the rawest and most animal kind of sharing. You are both naked and are all that you are - even when it is a one night stand. You learn about each other in the most primal sense.

    Even if you don't have sex, you learn by fits and starts about the other person. You learn not only when they are like, but what you are like and what you are looking for in a partner.

    Truth in advertising, it worked for me. I meant a gal 14 years ago, we moved in together 12 years ago - and now she and the three little gifts she gave me, who call me "Daddy," are the center of universe. We don't - to our own surprise as we are actually otherwise pretty traditional - want to be married but I love her so much and I cannot imagine life without her - or them.

    To be sure, fooling around is not always fun. There were times where I was deeply hurt - one time in particular - but you learn by doing. The pain can make you better - even when the price is high. It made me a better man so that when I met the girl who made me happy I was smart enough and good enough to be worthy of her love.

    As far as the update, it is a fiction. That cannot happen - or if it does it is exceedingly rare.

    However, if I could be the man that I am and have found the woman that I love without the fun and the hurt and the struggles and the euphoric moments and the sex and broken heart, then I suppose I would. However, nothing comes that easy. We are not built that way, and if I had to go through all that I have been through to get the woman I love, I would still - as I do - count it as worth the price.

    • Exceptional response as always!

    • Thanks so much. Very kind of you to say.

  • Why would you feel the need to fool around? Never understood that, isn't having a long list of exs showing that you just suck at dating? No I would go for the one because the purpose of a relationship is to have it evolve into something more, so going after something you know will not evolve into anything seems stupid, like going after a bunch of dead end jobs instead of the job you actually want because you want to know what its like to be in meaningless jobs. Just doesn't make sense to me.

    • I utterly agree. It's just that some people want to have sex with a lot of people so as to enjoy having fun instead of settling down immediately with the first one. I mean, I've never had sex. I'd like to feel being inside multiple women before settling for "the one". I do fully understand that I could just bang prostitutes. But I want to have sex with them because they like me. Not because I paid them. I guess friends with benefits? Wouldn't you feel bad that you only had sex with one girl only and not many? What if she had sex with multiple men before you got with her? Wouldn't you want to even it out? But great response though!

    • Well thus far I have only had sex with one woman and she did have multiple guys before me. A person who has sex with multiple people is not happier then one that doesn't. I mean again, its like going and getting a bunch of dead end jobs to see what its like while ignoring the one that is far more fulfilling and will actually make you happy. I look for quality not quantity. That's actually why I find dating so difficult, I made my mistake with my ex and I don't intend on repeating it. Sex is sex, but love is something more important in my eyes. Again, you just need to look at the statistics (more partners increases the probability of divorce, cheating, unhappiness in long term relationships, reduced satisfaction with sex, increased rates of anxiety and depression), or find a person who has slept around a lot and see if they are happy (thus far they are the least happy people I have seen. They do not trust women because they are "sluts/whores" yet are only doing exactly what they themselves do. They are alone and unhappy because they have chosen physical pleasure which is fine except after their orgasm ( which at best lasts 22 seconds) they are left with nothing else that is meaningful. Its a rather poor trade if you ask me, demanding two or three pieces of scrap that have been dropped on the floor simply because they are "different" to the filet mignon that's sitting on the table. Just a poor trade off in my opinion.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 5

  • When I was younger I was only looking for a relationship. I suppose that means I was looking for the one.

    Now, I'm not interested in a relationship and very casual dating is more interesting. Just someone (s) I get along well with, but someone who has a full independent life.

  • I voted A, how else would you know your guy is the best?

    • Read the update.

  • Straight to the one , unfortunately that seems to be the same as the other option ( sleep with multiple partners trying to find the one ) haha

    • What if “the one” happened to be best friends with the girl you had your way with on Thursday? I guess if she was “your one” she should understand, and most likely leads a life similar to yours, yes?

    • That could be a difficult situation but you couldn't change what had already happened just be honest about it. Absolutely 👍 you would hope she would understand and likely would live a very similar lifestyle I'm just saying the things go trying to find the one could end up meaning u sleep with multiple people getting there

    • But he did update the question saying you already know who the one is so my initial response is redundant haha

    • Show All

  • How would you feel if you went to a party with you SO only to find out that she slept with half of the men there over drinks and chit chat?

    • I'm not quite sure that I follow your response. Can you please elaborate more on it?

    • You meet the one... you’re both invited to a friendly gathering... you both go together... you come across a few of her old flings... how do you feel about this?

    • Oh now I see! Yeah I'd feel pretty bad. I didn't fool around with anyone, but "the one" for me did. How about if this was you instead? From your perspective, how would you react? Would you be okay with it?

    • Show All

  • How do you find "the one" ? Have them kept somewhere already? Why not just go get them?
    You've got to get with people to know if you're a compatible pair... just have preferences and know what you want so you don't get with everybody and just anybody.

  • Goooooo straighttttt

  • There’s no such thing as “the one”. There’s only love.

    • Interesting. Can you please elaborate more on this?

    • The notion of a true love or a singular love, is nonsense. Just about everyone is capable of loving many people, from family to s/o. Love is an emotion, and a choice to show that emotion to someone deserving. You can do that once, or many times, depending on the persons desire.

    • Makes sense! Thank you for your response.

  • Go straight to finding the one, cuz for me it’s a waste of time to fool around with a lot of guys that I’m not interested in

  • It's not about fooling around it's about finding who you are, as well as who fits you best.

  • Fool around, though it's kind of too late at MY age

    • Was it your birthday recently? I think it was 27 yesterday or a few days ago...

    • No. I signed up with a fake birthday

  • I'd rather just skip straight to "the one". Doing otherwise might involve needless complications of life and even tragedy.

  • Is it that easy to find the one tho? If you have no experience, how would you know?

  • I wan't to experience sex with as many guys as I can, before I settle down with the one.
    If the one is revealed to me, he'll have to just wait. Besides, that will be better for him, also.

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