Sexual Relationships
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My pastor says a woman cannot make herself special by offering sex - she has to offer her personality since every personality is unique - thoughts?

True - every lady on earth can have sex - she needs something else
Vote A
False - beauty is the most important quality a woman can offer and her body too
Vote B
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0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • Essentially, what he's saying is true for a long term relationship. There has to be other "things" attracting you, but your personality is just one of those things. However, for the sake of semantics, you could argue that your "personality" IS the sum total of all those other things. Soooo...

    If you're already of the mindset that "until you actually ARE special to me, there's no reason to have sex", then it's a moot point. On the other hand, there are women who are especially "gifted" at the "art of sex", which makes her special in that sense. But that alone isn't enough to make something last.

  • True, just offering that cheapens her and guys discard or use. what's point of that.
    Making herself attractive physically, emotionally, etc.. now that works. To me... that is modesty in dress, not flaunting sexuality. Sexuality is manipulation in essence.

    But the other side... taking it all away, not being able to see the feminine of who she is or her best, that makes difficult.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Duh. Sex is just sex. It's, in many ways, meaningless otherwise people wouldn't be able to buy "it" (either sex itself or the act/masturbation) either through porn, toys or prostitution/gigolos.

  • I don't offer it to make myself special I offer it because I want to.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 25

  • Sex is important to nearly all men, but even though that's true, the vast majority of men would agree that her personality is just as (if not more than) important for any kind of long-term relationship. Personality doesn't matter much for a one-night-stand or even a fuck buddy, but for a relationship? It's hugely important.

  • I think that's true. That's a nice quote. :)

  • Your pastor believes in crap written over 2,000 years ago that as zero substantive evidence to support any claims within it. Everything they say is suspect. Also, this isn't an either/or question. A person can have safe sex because they feel like it and enjoy it, and also want to find a person whom they can feel more romantically/emotionally/intellectually attached to for a long term relationship. And both are completely acceptable as long as they dont hurt anyone in the process.

    • The whole phrasing of this bugs me. "Make herself special" Like, who the F does she have to make herself special too? Making herself "special" is based on how a partner views her? She can make herself special anyway she pleases.

    • It’s just another way of the pastor advises women not to sleep with someone just because they want to feel loved or ‘special’. The pastor is making the point they should be in a relationship because then their personality is in combination with the body and her partner can fall in love with the whole person. It’s a message targeting younger women who want to find love and a warning that’s not going to be the outcome in a one nights stand.

    • @ecfresh The Pastor's claim of authority over interpersonal relationships is rooted in a ridiculous old book. Pastor should mind their own business. If she wants to engage in safe casual sex while she is young, and maybe meet a long term partner along the way, she should feel free to do so. Do what makes her feel special, not what some old celibate guy is telling her.

    • Show All

  • Wrong, but not false. It's a "lid for every pot" thing. Indeed, having a perverted mind and the need for lots of sex can be a part of the personality that a guy wants. Every guy wants something a little bit different, and you should never take the word of one man as (pardon the pun) gospel that applies to all men.

  • I totally agree. Sex is the reward of a committed relationship not the reason for one

  • It’s wrong because a woman already is special, she is a child of God. He made her special based on His purpose and granted her with spiritual gifts including mind, body, and soul. The only thing a woman can do is use those talents via free will to become less than special in the eyes of the Lord. But thankfully due to the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ she will have her sins washed away and be special one day in Heaven. She is special here on Earth and can live to glorify God.

    • But I believe what the pastor’s underlying message was you can’t get love simply by offering your body to someone for sexual purposes. That is lust and once the sex is over the body can easily be tossed away from that person (hence the brothel comment below). But again as a child of God you are given unique gifts and using those gifts in combination with keeping your body as a temple you can be special in the eyes of other believers and fall in love. That’s why the pastor highlighted personality because if sex is part of an exclusive relationship then love is real and making love is a gift given by God anyway.

  • He's right that having sex with a guy won’t make him stay. But neither will not having sex. You can’t trade sex for commitment. So have sex if you want to have sex, not for any other reason.

  • personality is important. but men aren't women so we don't need to degrade ourselves as easily

  • Your pastor is a rather wise woman. There are exceptions to this though, but she speaks of some truth.

  • It's a excellent point

  • Why not both?

  • Smart Pastor.

  • Both things are equally important.

  • well he's wrong, cause most women don't offer sex xD so you can make yourself special by offering sex. hower that is not to say that that would be special in a "good" way xD

  • Sex isn’t everything. Any woman can screw that guy... having a personality and being more than a moist orifice is more defining.

  • If i ever have a daughter ill do my best to make sure she knows her value that it Dosn t come from her sexuality, that is worth so much more.

    Today so many women derive their worth from their physical appearance and they work so hard for it believing without it they are not worth anything

    A niece, a mom and 3 sisters a number of female friends and I see it plain.

    Porn gave me a hard time seeing woman as more than objects i had to realize all over that this was a person, someones daughter.

  • He's absolutely right.

  • I agree. Your pussy is important, but it's not special.

  • I'm afraid your pastor speaks from a position of limited experience and he should stick to things he has knowledge about because it's embarrassingly obvious he doesn't have the expertise needed to comment on this. God bless him though for trying.

  • I don't take religion seriously. Nor should you

  • Show More (7)

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My pastor says a woman cannot make herself special by offering sex - she has to offer her personality since every personality is unique - thoughts?