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Is it okay for a 16 year old to have sexual relations with a 35 year old (The age of consent in our state is 16)?
Anonymous
- Legally, depends where you are.
Morally depends on the individuals, their relationship, power dynamic between them, whether the younger party feels they have to hide it, etc. When I was 16 year olds there are definitely 35 year old women I would have liked to have slept with, On the other hand it's even more likely than it would be with same age peers for the younger party to feel explicitly or implicitly pressured. As sort of came up in one of the comments, a less experienced 16 year old trying to be mature for a 35 year old is a bad idea, but a 16 year old who is already having casual sex, it comes down to whether its a respectful partner or not.
While at 16 I would have slept with a bunch of 35 year olds, as an over 35, I have never met a 16 year old i'd be comfortable sleeping with. So I guess there's that.0|00|0Is this still revelant? 
Anonymous1 ySounds like legally ok, I wasn't aware of that. I just think it is a terrible idea... the maturity difference is so great. Your brain isn't done growing yet.
Some cultures, it is more than that... I think that's awful. I can tell you that what I thought at 16 and what I thought at 35... it's a huge difference.
There are risks in these situations for women especially that are life altering. I would report this back to parents and or trusted colleagues. Everyone should have a support network they can trust. You are almost fully in control of your own life... within a few years. You can and should make little mistakes, but big ones... try not to. I would not...0|00|0Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Girls
- Possibly (maybe not) legally OK, but it's unwise to start having sex at 16 regardless of the partner's age. If you're going to take the plunge anyway, both you and your prospective older partner need to dig a little deeper into the law. Many state laws are tricky and are often misinterpreted; for instance, while the age of consent may be under 18, some state laws allow for it only when the partner is within a certain age range. For example, in one state a 16 year old may freely and lawfully consent to sex with someone up to and including age 24, but with a 25 year old it subjects him (or her) to statutory rape charges. Read the laws themselves, don't count on public opinion, words from a friend or friend of a friend.0|10|0Is this still revelant?
yes pretty much this, they're called Romeo and Juliet laws at least when I was growing up, just cause it says 16 there can be circumstances, the one you posted is a good example, that's how it is where I'm at
@blutwolfe Yes, you are correct. My own state has close in age exemptions, but age gap can mean the difference between being within the law and a statutory rape charge. When it comes to sex involving 16 year olds, it's all fine and good until a parent complains to the police. Then it becomes a mess. I've defended both men and women caught up in this; sadly, the first time they'd actually read what the law says is when I show it to them - when they're in custody. There's way too much reliance on gossip, schoolyard lawyers, etc. when it comes to this topic (same with stand your ground and self-defense law, among others). In this day and age, ignorance of the law is insupportable - every state has its statutes available online, and one doesn't have to be a lawyer to read and understand them, one only needs to be literate. This, like many others, is a case where one really needs to look before one leaps, for it may not be legal under a particular set of circumstances.
- Anonymous1 yConsent laws usually are written that both parties are under 18 or in some states they would allow like a 2 year window so if the person was 16 they could be with an 18 year or something like that It's usually both people are under aged. A 35 year old should NOT have sexual relationships with a 16 year old.0|00|0Is this still revelant?
- Opinion Owner1 y
Here's the different state laws on it.
https://www.dunhamlaw.com/age-consent-texas/ Go down a ways to see all the laws. The 35 year old could potentially be charged with rape in some states especially if the person's parents got involved. That would put the older person on the sex offenders list.
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1944- Technically legal by the vial ass law but so very, very wrong.0|00|0
- Age of consent doesn't mean much. It just means that in a court of law (if reported) you would be accused of statuary rape instead of pedophilia. Despite the sex being consensual it's still considered illegal. That is if it is reported usually cases like these are reported by parents of the girl/boy as they can legally pursue you of statuary rape even if the daughter says it was consensual. I'd say it's best not to do it as you never know how it could play out.0|00|0
- I try to tackle this one with logic:
If the law does allow it - and we talk about a SEXUAL relation with CONSENT - ... it will be 'ok'.
Detached from this, I see an emotional relation, where I have the highest doubts that a 16/35 combination has a chance to function. There is also the risk that the younger is still 'incomplete' and 'exploitable', where the older is likely to take undue advantage.
Personally, I find it to be a 'bad idea'.0|00|0 - Anonymous1 yPers I don't think it's okay at all. It's kinda abusive and pedophilic. At 16, you're basically a kid. I just turned 19, and I'm saying this. So imagine what an old man would think about you. I think you should avoid that, and stick to people closer to you're age. If you like guy's who are older than you, go fuck 20 year olds. Simple.
It's not cos the age of consent is 16 that it's okay. Most people would think it's disgusting. I mean in many countries the age of consent is 11, 12, 13. Surely that's not okay right?
I've had sex at that age pretty much with older men a few times, and it's just disturbing. Avoid.0|10|0 - A 16 year old can look and act much older then their peers. If the 35 year old man knows she's 16 and she acts like it - logic tells me she's being taken advantage of. Likely the sexual activity was greenlighted by his words and actions, especially if its an ongoing thing. If she jumped his bones and he caved in once then that is understandable. If it's a relationship I find it creepy0|00|0
- Legally, sure it's fine.
But morally? Extremely creepy, and it's a huge red flag that the guy involved is a massive creep. There's such a drastic difference in development and maturity, that completely imbalances the dynamic.0|00|0 - Legally yes. But i would wonder why a 35 yr old is chasing a 16 yr old and what their intentions are. More likely than not purely sexual. As long as they are clear about that and the 16yr old understands that0|00|0
- Yes it's legal but sounds morally wrong. I know men are attracted to some young girls that's totally fine. What could they possibly have in common as both are in different stages in life0|00|0
- It’s legal but I’m not in favor. How did this even start? I’m really opposed if the 35-year-old hit on the 16-year-old. A middle-aged guy with a high school student? Eww.0|00|0
- Morally I dont think it's ok. There's just too much of an age gap. At 24 I find going on dates with 19 year old aggravating and borderline I couldnt imagine 160|00|0
No I think it's even worse then. It's just too young for that man. he's a predator even if you dont see it
- I think it is a bad idea for the most part because they are on different stages of life. At 30, I would not have sex with any girl who wasn't out of high school and living away from her parents.0|00|0
- Legally, in your dumbass state, yes. However, morally, I think it’s disgusting. They’d be labeled as a pedophile in every other state. At that age, their dad could be that old 🤦🏽♀️0|00|0
- If u were a 16 year old guy and had the opportunity to have sex with a 35 year old women then I'd probably congratulate u. So I don't wanna be a hypocrite just because it's the opposite, so do as u please.
With that being said, I'm 22 and I wouldn't have sex with a girl who's younger than 18 (the age of consent is also 16 where I'm from).0|10|0 - ngl its kinda weird. but if you're comfortable with it and you know what you're doing , who am i to stop you doing whatever you're doing with him.0|00|0
- Anonymous1 yEh tbh it's a bit sleazy, the age of consent in my country is 16 but I would only sleep with people 18 or above and am only 23.
I don't know if I heard this I would think the guy was taking advantage of her0|00|0 - If it is legally ok in your state, then there is no problem. Make sure your parents are happy with it, but be prepared to get a few comments!0|00|0
- What state is that? What you both need to look at is how the law is set up in your state or country. You may be allowed to initiate in sexual intercourse but there can be exceptions for a guy as old as that. Many times you can only go as old as 2 years from you. If that's the case then you can not have a sexual relationship with this guy.
https://www.ageofconsent.net/states0|10|0You're correct. The website is a good resource. Still, as I've told the OP in a separate comment, it's wise to read and understand what the statutes (which are readily available online) read and how the law is applied.
- It is OK, however, at 16, there's a huge chance that some sort of manipulation is going on. In my country he would be in jail tho, even when consenting, a minor can't have relations with a grown up here0|00|0
Before our 20s the frontal cortex is not yet fully developed, so our logic and reasoning is still quite faulty, it's as our control is low its easy not only to do stupid stuff but also to get into dangerous relationships
- No. I think 16 is too young. A child’s mind needs time to acclimate. And besides, a 35 yr old lusting after a 16 yr old is gross. Think about his motivations. You wouldn’t get nearly as much pleasure as he would.0|00|0
- Don't care what the age of consent is, that's fucked up. 00|00|0
- It may raise a few eyebrows but what else can they do0|00|0
It will definitely raise something and some times that's a good thing and sometimes that's a fantastic thing, right?
- I mean it’s technically “okay” I guess, but I still don’t think it’s right in my opinion.
Tbh, I’d be questioning a 35 year old being with a 20 year old - let alone someone who’s 16. It just seems a bit creepy and predatory to me.0|10|0 - Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's right. The 35 year old has major issues. At 23 I wouldn't even think about a 16 year old.0|00|0
- Yes it is. When Ca was 16 I had a relationship cwuh a 36 yo lady she was the best ever. I'm 50 now and I still think of her.0|00|0
- Not ok even if its legal , marijuana is legel in some countries but its not ok0|00|0
Spoken like a true cop. Everything should be illeagal. You see man that's whyNOBODY likes you as#$_oles.
- It may he legal between the couple but the parents will also have legal grounds to go after the older person if they do not approve.0|00|0
- Until a few years ago, in my country it might have been; our age of consent is now 18.0|00|0
- It sounds interesting, but she is still a little young...0|00|0
- Anonymous1 yI think the fact that you feel like you need to ask this question already tells you your answer.0|00|0
- If it doesn't break any laws, then the worst people can do is disagree. Guess it all depends on how much that means to the "couple."1|00|0
- Why are you asking if it's "okay," whatever that means, when you just said "(The age of consent in our state is 16)"? Didn't you just answer your own question?0|01|0
It has nothing to do with what other people, especially on the Internet, think-- if you want to, go ahead, and if you don't, don't. If you feel deeply attracted to him and into him, then the age doesn't matter in the moment, and if you feel some kind of reservation inside yourself for some reason that you can't quite explain, then go ahead and listen to that reservation. The decision is yours and his, not anyone else's.
- I personally don't thing that is a good idea even if it isn't against the law0|00|0
I feel a 16 year old just is too young to handle someone physically, emotionally, and intellectually that old. I know that I would have nothing in common with someone that young and it wouldn't be that fun sexually because of the lack of experience and fear of hurting her... plus 16 year olds still look like babies (not actual babies but just super young)
- Asker1 y
i do understand a relationship between us is unlikely going to work out, that's why it is only going to be hookups but people still say he's too old for me (even just for sex) but then its just sex so I don't know why it'd matter (sorry if it seems im defending cuz obviously i do want t ohave sex with him but so many people say its wrong)
- It may be legally okay where you are but many parents would not like it.0|00|0
- Anonymous1 ywell are you the 35 yr old man ngl i just feel like this isn't the 16 yr asking0|00|0
- Anonymous1 yNo. Obviously not. Having sex with a 16 y/o is not normal for a 35 y/o man. Just gross...0|00|0
- Okay in the sense of legal, but not wise.0|00|0
- If he is old enough to be your father then no lmao0|00|0
- I don't judge but slightly weird.0|00|0
- If it's not illegal, it's not "wrong."0|00|0
- I can't see that it would be "ok", just legal.0|00|0
- Anonymous1 yLegally yes but moral compass pointed to WTF0|00|0
- No it is not0|00|0
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