How do you stop being repulsed with yourself for letting men use you when you where vulnerable?

Anonymous
I was a virgin and was raped and I couldn’t handle it I spoken to nobody about it. I befriended a criminal, drug addict girl and went off the rails I then gotten physically hurt by a man and sexually assaulted again due to taking it too far with bad influence “friends” who taken drugs and had addiction issues. I went even more crazy

. my friend would meet up with guys telling them i’d Hook up with them if they bought her alcohol. I let myself become pressured to sleep with lots of guys my body count went from zero - 14 in the space of four months.

I had had a real talk with myself and realised I’m not comfortable or happy with this friend. I’m a human, I’m someone’s daughter. Not a sex object or my “friends” coupon. I cried every night feeling I was put into situations that I didn’t want to be in. Saying no to these criminal, drunk men, was like telling a starving tiger not to eat you. I had to tell myself to be okay. With it. Anyhow!! It’s been a year since. I haven’t kissed a guy or even went on a date or been intimate, I went back to my more religious roots and I’m so much happy and my self esteem is high again, I start college soon and I’m much better. But I can’t stop feeling repulsed and ashamed to the point of tears about the things I let these men do to me.
How do you stop being repulsed with yourself for letting men use you when you where vulnerable?
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