Sexual Relationships
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How do I feel comfortable with my body before having sex?

Let me explain, the boy I’m with is really into me and we haven’t had sex yet. I’d really like to, but I’m nervous. I’m not perfect. I’m not skinny but I’m not thiqqq either. Like I have a healthy body, but not huge boobs or a huge butt. Just a nice figure in regards to like hips and such. I have stretch marks on some spots and love handles. Many more things. This guy is so into me though and I can’t understand it. He is so attractive and I’m literally not that level of attractive. I don’t know what to do. How to even fake confidence. I know not all men expect women to look a certain way or be perfect, like I know that, but it always feels like there’s a chance that they do. My heart and head don’t always agree and that’s how I feel when I think about how he’d react to me naked. My reaction isn’t good so why would his be? Please just give me the best advice you can that doesn’t involve me dumping him or anything dumb like that.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Hey there.
    I hear you. I am not a very confident person either, and there have been MANY times in my romantic life when I have been utterly miffed at how my partner isn't disgusted by my naked body. It's a rough thing to get over.
    Thing is... every time I get up the courage to speak my insecurities aloud to my partner, they're bewildered. My spouse made the best point: "I'm into YOU. I'm sleeping with YOU. So of course I want to look at YOU not some ideal you think I want to be with."
    This guy sounds like he's attracted to you, so clearly he sees things in you that he's into, and will definitely be excited when you're getting intimate for the first time!
    What always helped me was to try and see myself through my partner's eyes, because I knew I'd never see myself as attractive through my own. Think back on the compliments he's given you. On the things he stares at and the parts of you he likes to touch. Try to find the qualities he admires and put all your focus on those positives.
    When it comes down to mitigating fear and insecurities during the act, I have one major suggestion: Low lighting! Keep the room dim. Turn the lights off. Lean into the sensory play of doing it in the dark! Can't see the things you don't like in the dark. And after getting comfortable with being touched and loved without having to look at the things that make you insecure, it may be easier to see the beauty in yourself that your partner sees.
    Good luck! And remember to have fun!!

  • Well you guys could always take intimacy slowly, like have different days where you try different things together where you kind of learn to get more comfortable with him and yourself doing intimacy acts, try being in only your underwear first, or a giant t-shirt and underwear, sleep in the same bed, half nakedness, etc. Another way is to wear sexy underwear for yourself, when you feel you look good then you get more confident. You could also try dressing up, go on a date and you guys can dress up a bit, throw on some strong heels that you know make your legs look amazing, this helps set a mood when you guys go out. You could also pamper yourself, like getting a message, waxing, etc, a whole day to just make yourself feel good and beautiful. I understand that it can be very difficult to be comfortable and confident in yourself but remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if this guy chose you despite his attractiveness it obviously means he thinks you're absolutely amazing and because of that you should be really confident in yourself and love yourself.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You sound very well adjusted and likely ready for that step. Don't be surprised if your chosen first one doesn't have the maturity you do, Guys more more slowly than do girls and you may not find someone as well adjusted as you.
    Men do not expect women to be perfect, thy wrestle enough w/ their own insecurities to add a woman perceived as perfect. Guys tend to hang around w/ peer group longer than women. They often try to save face by acting as if they have 24 years of experience and women discuss how their bodies react to varying degrees of pressure, at what times an intensity of sensation feels better. Men would need to admit not knowing these facts in order to learn them. Unfortunately this breaks down because so many women are far more interested in giving rather than receiving pleasure. Too bad because many men feel the biggest turn on in knowing how to pleasure a woman and bring her to intense , multiple if possible, orgasms. I think you'll find skilled lovers who can make you feel physical ecstasy and enjoy noting more than doing so

  • How long have you been with him and has he seen you naked at all yet? If not he’ll know roughly what your body will look like anyway. Please don’t think to have a good body you must have big boobs and a big butt because that isn’t the case at all. I am attracted to girls who are flat chested and a very small butt.
    When you look in the mirror you are looking for parts of your body that you don’t like and focusing on what you think are problem areas, he won’t be and anything that you don’t like about yourself he won’t even notice.
    When you’re about to have sex just relax and enjoy the moment, and just for the record how you described yourself sounds really nice to me.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Simple

    How do I feel comfortable with my body before having sex?How do I feel comfortable with my body before having sex?

  • well, if you want to feel comfortable, first I would see if there’s anything you don’t like that you can change. Only the things you can change. But if there’s not, then you should accept how u are. Then you’ve got to think if you really want to do it or not. If you don’t, great, and if you do, great.
    But you have to realize, if he really is attracted to u then he’s really attracted to u. he knows what you look like and how you’re shaped and he likes it. that should give u confidence, think of the stuff you like about yourself.. learn what makes you feel good and do it more often... if you’re not ready then don’t do anything you’re not ready for, just tell him

    • This is perfect.

  • Even Victoria secret models have stretch marks hence they use tan to hide these things.

    https://youtu.be/eLd8l5pQ2YA



    No one woman exists that's perfect. Men get stretch marks too on their arms and hips. I've seen my husband have them and he is very lean.

    I mean I have very clear skin but I have hyperpigmentation and I get spots too.

    No one is perfect...

  • You assume that this guy likes only those type of women that have large breasts or a large butt.
    If he really likes you and wants to be with you (sexually) then evidentally he doesn't care what you look like. he's very attracted to exactly how you look and who you really are... inside and out. So dont overthink this with thoughts of unworthiness or selfcritisism.

  • Just be yourself. The boy is focused on sex and a great orgasm not what you look like. Have you gotten naked or fooled around a little before this? Make sure if the time comes that you talk about and plan on birth control first.

  • You need to understand there is no such thing as a universal beauty standard. It is not that "not all men expect women to look a certain way or be perfect", it is that every guy has his own definition of perfect, and it may not be what you are usually told is perfect.
    Personally, I prefer girls with stretch marks and love handles, it is not that I do not mind, it is that given the choice, I would take a girl with rather than without. If this guy is into you, it is probably because you are his type. So don't worry about it.

  • trust me, guys will literally be aroused by most woman they find attractive clothed, naked. Just be confident, what usually helps me is matching underwear wearing nice perfume and believe in yourself. You are definitely overthinking it.

  • First of all, that guy likes you for YOU not your body
    That's the BEAUTY of men, then they like someone they focus on their personalities and mind set not their body.
    But men also like confidence because that means they have a strong woman in their arms so they will be satisfied.

    To be confidence takes key
    Wake up in the morning look in the mirror and actually say "I AM BEAUTIFUL, my hair is shiny, my skin is glowing"

    You have the right to say to yourself that you are gorgeous.

    NEVER DUMP A GUY who likes you for you...

    Want another trick I learned... have a sense of humor in bed

    Always say on forgot about my love handles, yet I'm still hilarious and cute.

    If you want to show another confidence show your inner beauty to lash out your insecurities about your body

  • If he only feels lust for you, he would be turned off.
    If he loves you then it would be impossible for him to be turned off.

  • trust me if he likes you he isn't going to be disappointed... the tiny imperfections you think you have won't even register in his head... he is going to be looking at your face which I imagine he already likes... he knows how big your breasts are because he has seen you in person and can judge by the shape of your clothing over them... and well same goes for your bum as he has seen it in jeans or leggings or whatever you wear...

    You have nothing to be worried about.

  • If he's really into you then you don't have to worry about anything. He wouldn't care about your body or how you look naked. So, stop worrying and when the time comes, just go with the flow.

  • Work on it until you are

  • Dudes like to see girls naked. He probably knows you won't look like a model naked. I mean he's seen you with clothes on and you don't look like a model with clothes on. He may not find you the hottest naked, but he'll probably like it. Even though you don't seem at all like my type, I would like to see you naked, because I like seeing naked girls.

  • Cuddle with a partner, then do it naked, see that you can become comfortable being naked before having sex. If being naked or cuddling with someone you love is difficult, then sex will feel awkward and that feeling can linger after the act for some time.

  • I'm virgin yet
    ...

  • After sex with someone new no long eill you care about being naked around him or shitting in this toilet

  • Alcohol helps

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