How to get my boyfriend to be rougher with me in bed and how do I get him to choke me?

[Anonymous]

Okay before you all think im a freaky mofo let me give you all a little more details about me and my relationship.

Before met my boyfriend 7 months ago and lost are virginity to each other 6 months ago. I was very much against rough sex and didn't understand how someone would want to be physically hurt during love making as its when your at your most vulnerable and sex should be a loving, sweet, affectionate experiences.

Once me and my boyfriends had are first holiday away together. My boyfriend couldn't control having me in a hotel room all to himself and pushed me down on the bed and fucked me so hard and rough. It was the first time we'd tried doggy style and we both loved it.

After that sex got a lot more funnier and i started to realise i enjoyed being man handled and started telling my boyfriend to spank me and pull my hair whilst fucking doggy style. He doesn't do it very hard as i think he doesn't want to hurt me and doesn't have the confidence either.

It makes my orgasms so much more intense when he's rough with me like this and a couple days ago i was masterbating and choked myself whilst doing it. It felt amazing but my boyfriend loves me so much and i dont think hed feel comfortable doing something like that to me.

I think people would be shocked how kinky i am as i act very sweet and innocent in public.

[Ken_Stargazer]

Honestly, the best policy here is to just ask him, be specific, be open and understanding to any concern he may have of hurting you. I would say something to the effect of:

Hey babe (or whatever name/petname) I know we've been getting a bit rougher in bed lately, and I've been really enjoying it. I have felt like you've been holding back a bit, and I want you to know that you don't have to do it so much. I'm a big girl, I can handle a fair bit of toughness and pain. Remember, the girls have the babies. We can deal with pain. I would much rather you went all in during our playtime, and me have to say go easier, or stop, than for you to feel you have to hold back with me.

Play rough. Slap hard! Really grab into me. I want you to hold me down, and choke me sometimes. I think it would be really hot, and having you do it to me would make me go wild! Let's figure out a safe word for those times I need you to pull back, okay? What do you think?

And then at that point, have a discussion about it. It doesn't have to be awkward, it's the most exciting thing you guys are often to do together. Talking about it should be exciting too!

[abc3643]

You have a fundamental problem and are a good example of what I was trying to say the other night in which a young couple may be perfect for each other outside the bedroom, but if the sexual chemistry isn't there, the relationship (if the couple is young like you) is likely to fail.

I believe that your boyfriend is fundamentally not a violent guy. A lot of us aren't and harming women and treating them like shit such as in the ersatz rape of choking and "rough sex" is alien to us.

Basically, to get satisfied in bed, you are going to need a man who can do that... and those guys are often douchebags.

I'm sorry honey, but I think in your case, you "Want your cake and to eat it too."

[MrOracle]

You need to sit down and talk with him outside of the bedroom, and tell him what you want, why you want it, how hot it is to you, etc. He needs to understand that this is what you want, and why you like it, so he can have the confidence he needs to do it. Just have conversations about it until you both understand where each other are coming from.

[normalice]

Just don't hold back in expressing your enjoyment. He'll figure it out.

[elite665]

Tell him what I want if he likes you he will do it although be patient he may not feel comfortable at first and know how hard to choke you or whatever

[bklynbadboy1]

Just tell him what you like

[andy530]

Talk to him about how much you like and need it! Ask him specifically to do it and if he’s not spanking you or pulling your hair hard enough tell him to pull harder. He won’t know if you don’t tell him. If he won’t do it that might not be something he’s fully willing to do in the relationship it could be a boundary for him

[Alex_988_2]

you'll soon end up being unworthy of being in a relationship and would end up whoring around. lemme predict that for you

[kinky_guy]

For him to do it right he needs to want to do it and actually be more dominant but you can always take with him about it

[boredhubby2020]

Well let him read this "Dude what's with you you have my fantasy right before you and not want it having a woman under complete control I would never leave the house except to get food drinks and plenty of Viagra

[dumtampa]

Communication is key. Be open and honest.

[Anonymous]

Just ask him to try new stuff and have a safe word or signal if it’s too much