Sex and communication?

Anonymous
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We can literally talk about anything for hours. He studied psychology in college and is very helpful since I deal with anxiety. Fast forward to tonight. He likes to try new things sexually. Kinda surprising me with new acts and see if I like them. For the longest time he wanted anal. I refused until I did research and genuinely wanted to try it. We went back to his place a while back we were gonna have anal sex but ended up being too late cause he had to finish lol. We hung out tonight and we found a empty parking lot somewhere and started making out he found a condom in the car and I thought we’re gonna have vaginal sex. I felt this pressure on my butt knowing what was happening. I said ow that really hurts. I asked him if he meant to “get in there” he said ”no that wasn’t my intention” I said bullshit and we both laughed knowing his sick humor. He then repositioned me and tried again but gave up. I was completely caught off guard cause he didn’t say he was gonna have anal sex with me. But after I felt scared I was extremely anxious and worried that he violated me. He comforted me. Telling me his reasoning that he wanted to try something new and he told me if I felt like he was truly crossing the line to tell him to get the fuck off me. he said no matter how uncomfortable you feel tell me and I’ll stop. When the surprise anal was happening I was confused hoping we would have vaginal sex. We had a condom. it was in the back of the car. But I don't know he said after 7 months I should trust him sexually and know he has no intention to hurt me. I lost my virginity to him and he has been helping me gain confidence sexually since my biggest fear is being hurt. So my question is. Communication. But should he have told me ahead? Was it violation? Why did he straight face joke like that? How much communication is enough? I’m so new to this. I trust him but tonight caught me off guard completely.
Updates:
11 mo
I will add after I said ow that really hurt. I said no more that hurt. So he moved me into a more comfortable spot tried again but then gave up. I asked him after when I said no more that hurt he said he figured it was the angle and wanted to make it feel good.
Sex and communication?
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