I've recently learnt my boyfriend had anal sex with his ex. Now, I'm turned off. Can anyone relate?

[Anonymous]

I've always been clear that I didn't want to do it ever so no, I'm not jealous he he's done something with her he'll never do with me. If he break up with me cause I won't do it, fine. It's not like I never said I was against it.
I'm really grossed out. He could have told me he liked eating insects or some disgusting things, I would probably feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Hard for say, but maybe you are jealous that he poked another girl's behind instead of yours. You're probably just denying the jealousy. Hey I can be totally wrong here and I am not afraid to admit if I am wrong about how you feel.

You don't think I would be turned off to know that my girlfriend sucked many dicks and ate their semen for dessert before I entered the picture? You think I want to put my lips together with hers if she had couple dicks in her mouth at one point?

People can tell you: "The past is the past, Let it go"
Easier said than done. In fact you believe that his happenstance is a hindrance to growing the relationship further.

I don't know if you are with your partner for just a temporary fling or maybe even the long-run. But if it is the latter, you will eventually find a way to overcome that obstacle. It's not like his junk is covered with leftover residue of literal shit from his previous partner.

If it's the fact that he did such acts, maybe you and him can try a different position that none of you tried in the past? Maybe that will spice things up?

[Asker]

I'm turned off thinking about his dick going into a shit hole. I don't wanna have sex with him now. I have some images of him licking her ass and I find that disgusting too. Overall, I'm pretty grossed out by stuff involving assplay tbh.

[Opinion Owner]

oh dear. Well I mean it is your call whether or not you want to continue this relationship or not. I don't blame ya for feeling that way. Would you feel grossed out if he did the same to you though? I mean why not?

[Asker]

To me? Jeez! No way!

[Opinion Owner]

oh man. Well, I mean it's up to you to continue this relationship. If you find yourself hating him more because of his dirty deeds, I think you gotta break it off. If you still feel connection to him - like you don't want him to exit the picture, up to you if you want to to work things out :D

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm thinking about it. You can't be with someone who's got too different values or way of thinking I guess.

[Opinion Owner]

Godspeed to you sista! You shall find someone else that is in alignment for the "perfect" - quote on quote partner of your dreams if things go south.

[Asker]

Some may be fine with it. I'm not. I simply don't want to be involved with such disgusting acts. That's it. People do whatever they want as long as I can stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

I'd say just give it time to pass. It's in the past right? Nothing you can do about it, and other than that you find it gross, it's not effecting your relationship, so just give it time for you to "get over". You will. And especially if everything else in the relationship is good? Don't focus on it and let it come between you. It would be the same if he was turned off by something you did in the past, you'd probably tell him to "get over it" right? lol Same here. But I understand how you feel right now, I would feel the same. But it's in the past, so I'd leave it there.

[Anonymous]

If he respects that you don't want to do it and doesn't push you to do it you should probably let it go. My ex husband told me stuff into my marriage that stuck in my head for awhile and took some trying to wash it out of my head. I think why he did it was more about him having an alcohol issue. Or a small portion of it at least in one of the cases the way he explained it. I think sometimes sharing too much information isn't a good thing.

[Agem123]

I'm not into anal either but it's nothing to be grossed about. It's not that he fucked a guy, it was his ex, lol

[Warmapplecrumble]

My ex had a threesome. I just shrugged and carried on and couldn't care less. 😂

[Asker]

If that's your story...

[Warmapplecrumble]

Yes it is. 😂

[Asker]

You're OK with whatever you're OK with lol...

[Warmapplecrumble]

You can't think too much on the past. You just forget it and move on. It kinda destroys the present moment , and the future.

[Asker]

Past says à lot about the future...

[Warmapplecrumble]

Is he suggesting you to have anal sex when you don't want it?

[Asker]

No, or at least, not yet. I don't want to be involved with such things in any capacity.

[Warmapplecrumble]

See you are over thinking. He might have never liked it. It won't be a issue unless he wants it and you don't. So don't worry. As long as you've done STD checks and have some sort of pregnancy plan then everything will be fine in this department.

[summiter]

His past is his past do not hold it against him. He did not even know you. How is your sex life with him otherwise?

[Asker]

It's fine. Nothing crazy though...

[summiter]

Just enjoy the great orgasms you both are having.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Wait, are you upset that he really wants it or that he ever did it it all? Like is he trying to get you to do it even though you don't want to?

It's just kinda hard to wrap my head around the thought of being turned off to someone because of a sexual act they did with someone else.

[Slyfox163]

Honestly, I would be the same way.

[Blublub]

That would turn me on if I knew that

[Dargil]

I agree with you.

[Asker]

Well thanks 🙂

[AshZ36]

Well you're kinda a high matinence diva aren't ya... he should leave you for someone who's not such a... bitch

[Asker]

You're kind of an annoying insulting little girl, aren't you?

[AshZ36]

Awww I made the mean lady mad... I would say get the stick out your ass but...

[Asker]

Insulting people is never a good argument and display a weak personality. Now go away and bother someone else.

[AshZ36]

You want some advice? Get over yourself... and I hope your partner "accidentally" shoves it up your ass one night

[Asker]

Just stop talking.

[AshZ36]

Just stop breathing

[Asker]

Get yourself some self-esteem lol

[AshZ36]

Already got tons, but thanks... byeeeee

[Asker]

Or not lol

[Meropatrick]

@AshZ36 lol where is the tons of self esteem when you are taking part in such an argument? I bet the two dogs in your profile picture have better self-esteem oh wait...

[AshZ36]

Aww look at the white knight

[NickiB1]

yeah his little thingy is tainted with poop

[Meropatrick]

? its difficult to relate in such situation :/ Lets hope it was a girl’s ass and not in a guy’s ass XD

[Asker]

Ha ha ha Who knows?

[ThatGuy133]

Sounds like he needs to quit talking about his ex, it's in poor taste

[Asker]

Agree lol

[OfDeath]

Anal is so beautiful with the right girl. Personally, I wouldn't continue a relationship if the girl won't do anal.

[Asker]

There so much hypocrisy around anal. I viscerally hate all that it represents.

[OfDeath]

Up to you

[OfDeath]

How can there be "hypocrisy" about anal?

[Asker]

Men are hypocrite about it.

[OfDeath]

In what way?

[Asker]

They feel they have the right to require it even though it can be very painful. But of course, they would never agree to do it cause it's painful, degrading, not manly,... Lol Hypocrisy that's it.

[OfDeath]

But would you want to do it to them?

[Asker]

If you ask someone to do such things as a requirement, you should be prepared to do it yourself. That's it.

[OfDeath]

But the question is would YOU want to do it to him?

[Asker]

I don't really care. It's not something I want in particular.

[OfDeath]

Then that's hypocrisy of your own. You won't take it because he won't but if he will them you won't give it to him either

[Asker]

How is that hypocrite?

[OfDeath]

Just explained it

[Asker]

There's no hypocrisy here

[OfDeath]

There obviously is. I think you might be in denial about this

[Asker]

Or you simply can't explain it properly

[OfDeath]

I already explained properly you won't do it because he won't take it but if he will you won't give it. So your reason is a contradiction of itself.

[OfDeath]

Classic denial

[OfDeath]

All the symptoms are there.

[Asker]

If he was into it, I would "give it" lol. I just don't need it.

[OfDeath]

So you would give it but won't take it? That's the exact hypocrisy you are accusing men of! This is farcical!

[Asker]

The difference is I don't expect it If the person really wants then I will Anal can be very painful. The one that gives it cannot expect it from a partner even though this person doesn't really want it. Giving it isn't damaging or that risky. You won't get injured from giving it as you can be from receiving it. That's it.

[bangyourhead]

That’s weird.

[TheFlak38]

and instead of stepping up your game and take it up your ass like a good girlfriend you get turned off. The guy deserves better. Break up.

[Asker]

Well I think I do deserve better actually

[TheFlak38]

nah you don't deserve shit. you're an awful partner.

[Asker]

Do you have a GF?

[navyP]

I don't understand why your turned off you said yourself that you wouldn't do it so are you mad that he still got to experience anal even though you refuse or are you just mad that he did it with his ex

[BasicBad]

Get over it prude. Hope he dumps you

[Asker]

Insulting people is just pathetic

[Anonymous]

It’s no big deal, he knows you don’t like it so he won’t ask and it was in the past so what’s done is done

[Anonymous]

You are mentally ill.

[Asker]

Or maybe you are

[Opinion Owner]

In all seriousness, you should do your poor boyfriend a solid and proactively break up with him now. And further, you should seek therapy, for your own sake and for anyone else who may have the misfortune of crossing paths with you in your current state of mind.

[Asker]

Why would I ever need therapy?

[Opinion Owner]

Because you're mentally ill.

[Asker]

Why would I be mentally ill for finding anal sex gross?

[Opinion Owner]

It's irrational.

[Asker]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

The fact you don't understand all of this just underscores your need for professional help.

[Asker]

You just have no argument.

[Opinion Owner]

That statement is certainly no surprise coming from a mentally ill person. People like you are always the last to know about their condition.

[Asker]

You kinda look like the one with an issue here. You can't even give real arguments...

[Opinion Owner]

Arguing with the mentally ill is a waste of time, for obvious reasons.

[Asker]

Go away then

[Opinion Owner]

AshZ36 had you pegged perfectly. So did others here. You've made a complete moron of yourself publicly with this question. I'd suggest you stop digging that hole you're in and instead try climbing out of it.

[Anonymous]

Nope can’t relate because what he done in his past relationship has nothing to do with me it doesn’t change the way I feel about him I love him for who he is

[Anonymous]

Nope never been a fan of that.