I've recently learnt my boyfriend had anal sex with his ex. Now, I'm turned off. Can anyone relate?

Question

I've always been clear that I didn't want to do it ever so no, I'm not jealous he he's done something with her he'll never do with me. If he break up with me cause I won't do it, fine. It's not like I never said I was against it.
I'm really grossed out. He could have told me he liked eating insects or some disgusting things, I would probably feel the same.

Answer 1

Anonymous

Hard for say, but maybe you are jealous that he poked another girl's behind instead of yours. You're probably just denying the jealousy. Hey I can be totally wrong here and I am not afraid to admit if I am wrong about how you feel.

You don't think I would be turned off to know that my girlfriend sucked many dicks and ate their semen for dessert before I entered the picture? You think I want to put my lips together with hers if she had couple dicks in her mouth at one point?

People can tell you: "The past is the past, Let it go"
Easier said than done. In fact you believe that his happenstance is a hindrance to growing the relationship further.

I don't know if you are with your partner for just a temporary fling or maybe even the long-run. But if it is the latter, you will eventually find a way to overcome that obstacle. It's not like his junk is covered with leftover residue of literal shit from his previous partner.

If it's the fact that he did such acts, maybe you and him can try a different position that none of you tried in the past? Maybe that will spice things up?

Asker

11 mo
I'm turned off thinking about his dick going into a shit hole. I don't wanna have sex with him now. I have some images of him licking her ass and I find that disgusting too.
Overall, I'm pretty grossed out by stuff involving assplay tbh.
Opinion Owner

11 mo
oh dear. Well I mean it is your call whether or not you want to continue this relationship or not. I don't blame ya for feeling that way.

Would you feel grossed out if he did the same to you though? I mean why not?
Asker

11 mo
To me? Jeez! No way!
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

11 mo
oh man. Well, I mean it's up to you to continue this relationship. If you find yourself hating him more because of his dirty deeds, I think you gotta break it off. If you still feel connection to him - like you don't want him to exit the picture, up to you if you want to to work things out :D
Asker

11 mo
Yeah, I'm thinking about it. You can't be with someone who's got too different values or way of thinking I guess.
Opinion Owner

11 mo
Godspeed to you sista!

You shall find someone else that is in alignment for the "perfect" - quote on quote partner of your dreams if things go south.
Asker

11 mo
Some may be fine with it. I'm not. I simply don't want to be involved with such disgusting acts. That's it. People do whatever they want as long as I can stay out of it.

Answer 2

Asker

I'm turned off thinking about his dick going into a shit hole. I don't wanna have sex with him now. I have some images of him licking her ass and I find that disgusting too.
Overall, I'm pretty grossed out by stuff involving assplay tbh.

Answer 3

Opinion Owner

oh dear. Well I mean it is your call whether or not you want to continue this relationship or not. I don't blame ya for feeling that way.

Would you feel grossed out if he did the same to you though? I mean why not?

Answer 4

Asker

To me? Jeez! No way!

Answer 5

Opinion Owner

oh man. Well, I mean it's up to you to continue this relationship. If you find yourself hating him more because of his dirty deeds, I think you gotta break it off. If you still feel connection to him - like you don't want him to exit the picture, up to you if you want to to work things out :D

Answer 6

Asker

Yeah, I'm thinking about it. You can't be with someone who's got too different values or way of thinking I guess.

Answer 7

Opinion Owner

Godspeed to you sista!

You shall find someone else that is in alignment for the "perfect" - quote on quote partner of your dreams if things go south.

Answer 8

Asker

Some may be fine with it. I'm not. I simply don't want to be involved with such disgusting acts. That's it. People do whatever they want as long as I can stay out of it.

Answer 9

Anonymous

I'd say just give it time to pass. It's in the past right? Nothing you can do about it, and other than that you find it gross, it's not effecting your relationship, so just give it time for you to "get over". You will. And especially if everything else in the relationship is good? Don't focus on it and let it come between you. It would be the same if he was turned off by something you did in the past, you'd probably tell him to "get over it" right? lol Same here. But I understand how you feel right now, I would feel the same. But it's in the past, so I'd leave it there.

Answer 10

Anonymous

If he respects that you don't want to do it and doesn't push you to do it you should probably let it go. My ex husband told me stuff into my marriage that stuck in my head for awhile and took some trying to wash it out of my head. I think why he did it was more about him having an alcohol issue. Or a small portion of it at least in one of the cases the way he explained it. I think sometimes sharing too much information isn't a good thing.

Answer 11

Agem123 | 2.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I'm not into anal either but it's nothing to be grossed about. It's not that he fucked a guy, it was his ex, lol

Answer 12

Telekinetic-Potato | 1.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Wait, are you upset that he really wants it or that he ever did it it all? Like is he trying to get you to do it even though you don't want to?

It's just kinda hard to wrap my head around the thought of being turned off to someone because of a sexual act they did with someone else.

Answer 13

AshZ36 | 227 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Well you're kinda a high matinence diva aren't ya... he should leave you for someone who's not such a... bitch

Asker

11 mo
You're kind of an annoying insulting little girl, aren't you?
AshZ36

11 mo
Awww I made the mean lady mad... I would say get the stick out your ass but...
Asker

11 mo
Insulting people is never a good argument and display a weak personality. Now go away and bother someone else.
Show All Show Less
AshZ36

11 mo
You want some advice? Get over yourself... and I hope your partner "accidentally" shoves it up your ass one night
Asker

11 mo
Just stop talking.
AshZ36

11 mo
Just stop breathing
Asker

11 mo
Get yourself some self-esteem lol
AshZ36

11 mo
Already got tons, but thanks... byeeeee
Asker

11 mo
Or not lol
Meropatrick

11 mo
@AshZ36 lol where is the tons of self esteem when you are taking part in such an argument? I bet the two dogs in your profile picture have better self-esteem oh wait...
AshZ36

11 mo
Aww look at the white knight

Answer 14

Asker

You're kind of an annoying insulting little girl, aren't you?

Answer 15

AshZ36

Awww I made the mean lady mad... I would say get the stick out your ass but...

Answer 16

Asker

Insulting people is never a good argument and display a weak personality. Now go away and bother someone else.

Answer 17

AshZ36

You want some advice? Get over yourself... and I hope your partner "accidentally" shoves it up your ass one night

Answer 18

Asker

Just stop talking.

Answer 19

AshZ36

Just stop breathing

Answer 20

Asker

Get yourself some self-esteem lol

Answer 21

AshZ36

Already got tons, but thanks... byeeeee

Answer 22

Asker

Or not lol

Answer 23

Meropatrick

@AshZ36 lol where is the tons of self esteem when you are taking part in such an argument? I bet the two dogs in your profile picture have better self-esteem oh wait...

Answer 24

AshZ36

Aww look at the white knight

Answer 25

TheFlak38 | 3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

and instead of stepping up your game and take it up your ass like a good girlfriend you get turned off. The guy deserves better. Break up.

Asker

11 mo
Well I think I do deserve better actually
TheFlak38

11 mo
nah you don't deserve shit. you're an awful partner.
Asker

11 mo
Do you have a GF?

Answer 26

Asker

Well I think I do deserve better actually

Answer 27

TheFlak38

nah you don't deserve shit. you're an awful partner.

Answer 28

Asker

Do you have a GF?

Answer 29

navyP | 1.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

I don't understand why your turned off you said yourself that you wouldn't do it so are you mad that he still got to experience anal even though you refuse or are you just mad that he did it with his ex

Answer 30

Meropatrick

Xper 6

? its difficult to relate in such situation :/ Lets hope it was a girl’s ass and not in a guy’s ass XD

Asker

11 mo
Ha ha ha
Who knows?

Answer 31

Asker

Ha ha ha
Who knows?

Answer 32

OfDeath | 3.8K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Anal is so beautiful with the right girl. Personally, I wouldn't continue a relationship if the girl won't do anal.

Asker

11 mo
There so much hypocrisy around anal. I viscerally hate all that it represents.
OfDeath

11 mo
Up to you
OfDeath

11 mo
How can there be "hypocrisy" about anal?
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Asker

11 mo
Men are hypocrite about it.
OfDeath

11 mo
In what way?
Asker

11 mo
They feel they have the right to require it even though it can be very painful. But of course, they would never agree to do it cause it's painful, degrading, not manly,... Lol
Hypocrisy that's it.
OfDeath

11 mo
But would you want to do it to them?
Asker

11 mo
If you ask someone to do such things as a requirement, you should be prepared to do it yourself. That's it.
OfDeath

11 mo
But the question is would YOU want to do it to him?
Asker

11 mo
I don't really care. It's not something I want in particular.
OfDeath

11 mo
Then that's hypocrisy of your own. You won't take it because he won't but if he will them you won't give it to him either
Asker

11 mo
How is that hypocrite?
OfDeath

11 mo
Just explained it
Asker

11 mo
There's no hypocrisy here
OfDeath

11 mo
There obviously is. I think you might be in denial about this
Asker

11 mo
Or you simply can't explain it properly
OfDeath

11 mo
I already explained properly you won't do it because he won't take it but if he will you won't give it. So your reason is a contradiction of itself.
OfDeath

11 mo
Classic denial
OfDeath

11 mo
All the symptoms are there.
Asker

11 mo
If he was into it, I would "give it" lol.
I just don't need it.
OfDeath

11 mo
So you would give it but won't take it? That's the exact hypocrisy you are accusing men of! This is farcical!
Asker

11 mo
The difference is I don't expect it
If the person really wants then I will
Anal can be very painful. The one that gives it cannot expect it from a partner even though this person doesn't really want it. Giving it isn't damaging or that risky. You won't get injured from giving it as you can be from receiving it. That's it.

Answer 33

Asker

There so much hypocrisy around anal. I viscerally hate all that it represents.

Answer 34

OfDeath

Up to you

Answer 35

OfDeath

How can there be "hypocrisy" about anal?

Answer 36

Asker

Men are hypocrite about it.

Answer 37

OfDeath

In what way?

Answer 38

Asker

They feel they have the right to require it even though it can be very painful. But of course, they would never agree to do it cause it's painful, degrading, not manly,... Lol
Hypocrisy that's it.

Answer 39

OfDeath

But would you want to do it to them?

Answer 40

Asker

If you ask someone to do such things as a requirement, you should be prepared to do it yourself. That's it.

Answer 41

OfDeath

But the question is would YOU want to do it to him?

Answer 42

Asker

I don't really care. It's not something I want in particular.

Answer 43

OfDeath

Then that's hypocrisy of your own. You won't take it because he won't but if he will them you won't give it to him either

Answer 44

Asker

How is that hypocrite?

Answer 45

OfDeath

Just explained it

Answer 46

Asker

There's no hypocrisy here

Answer 47

OfDeath

There obviously is. I think you might be in denial about this

Answer 48

Asker

Or you simply can't explain it properly

Answer 49

OfDeath

I already explained properly you won't do it because he won't take it but if he will you won't give it. So your reason is a contradiction of itself.

Answer 50

OfDeath

Classic denial

Answer 51

OfDeath

All the symptoms are there.

Answer 52

Asker

If he was into it, I would "give it" lol.
I just don't need it.

Answer 53

OfDeath

So you would give it but won't take it? That's the exact hypocrisy you are accusing men of! This is farcical!

Answer 54

Asker

The difference is I don't expect it
If the person really wants then I will
Anal can be very painful. The one that gives it cannot expect it from a partner even though this person doesn't really want it. Giving it isn't damaging or that risky. You won't get injured from giving it as you can be from receiving it. That's it.

Answer 55

ThatGuy133

Explorer

Sounds like he needs to quit talking about his ex, it's in poor taste

Asker

11 mo
Agree lol

Answer 56

Asker

Agree lol

Answer 57

summiter | 9.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

His past is his past do not hold it against him. He did not even know you. How is your sex life with him otherwise?

Asker

11 mo
It's fine. Nothing crazy though...
summiter

11 mo
Just enjoy the great orgasms you both are having.

Answer 58

Asker

It's fine. Nothing crazy though...

Answer 59

summiter

Just enjoy the great orgasms you both are having.

Answer 60

Warmapplecrumble | 3.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

My ex had a threesome. I just shrugged and carried on and couldn't care less. 😂

Asker

11 mo
If that's your story...
Warmapplecrumble

11 mo
Yes it is. 😂
Asker

11 mo
You're OK with whatever you're OK with lol...
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Warmapplecrumble

11 mo
You can't think too much on the past. You just forget it and move on. It kinda destroys the present moment , and the future.
Asker

11 mo
Past says à lot about the future...
Warmapplecrumble

11 mo
Is he suggesting you to have anal sex when you don't want it?
Asker

11 mo
No, or at least, not yet.
I don't want to be involved with such things in any capacity.
Warmapplecrumble

11 mo
See you are over thinking. He might have never liked it. It won't be a issue unless he wants it and you don't.
So don't worry. As long as you've done STD checks and have some sort of pregnancy plan then everything will be fine in this department.

Answer 61

Asker

If that's your story...

Answer 62

Warmapplecrumble

Yes it is. 😂

Answer 63

Asker

You're OK with whatever you're OK with lol...

Answer 64

Warmapplecrumble

You can't think too much on the past. You just forget it and move on. It kinda destroys the present moment , and the future.

Answer 65

Asker

Past says à lot about the future...

Answer 66

Warmapplecrumble

Is he suggesting you to have anal sex when you don't want it?

Answer 67

Asker

No, or at least, not yet.
I don't want to be involved with such things in any capacity.

Answer 68

Warmapplecrumble

See you are over thinking. He might have never liked it. It won't be a issue unless he wants it and you don't.
So don't worry. As long as you've done STD checks and have some sort of pregnancy plan then everything will be fine in this department.

Answer 69

Anonymous

It’s no big deal, he knows you don’t like it so he won’t ask and it was in the past so what’s done is done

Answer 70

Anonymous

Nope can’t relate because what he done in his past relationship has nothing to do with me it doesn’t change the way I feel about him I love him for who he is

Answer 71

NickiB1

Xper 7

yeah his little thingy is tainted with poop

Answer 72

Blublub

Xper 6

That would turn me on if I knew that

Answer 73

Anonymous

You are mentally ill.

Asker

11 mo
Or maybe you are
Opinion Owner

11 mo
In all seriousness, you should do your poor boyfriend a solid and proactively break up with him now.

And further, you should seek therapy, for your own sake and for anyone else who may have the misfortune of crossing paths with you in your current state of mind.
Asker

11 mo
Why would I ever need therapy?
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

11 mo
Because you're mentally ill.
Asker

11 mo
Why would I be mentally ill for finding anal sex gross?
Opinion Owner

11 mo
It's irrational.
Asker

11 mo
Why?
Opinion Owner

11 mo
The fact you don't understand all of this just underscores your need for professional help.
Asker

11 mo
You just have no argument.
Opinion Owner

11 mo
That statement is certainly no surprise coming from a mentally ill person. People like you are always the last to know about their condition.
Asker

11 mo
You kinda look like the one with an issue here. You can't even give real arguments...
Opinion Owner

11 mo
Arguing with the mentally ill is a waste of time, for obvious reasons.
Asker

11 mo
Go away then
Opinion Owner

11 mo
AshZ36 had you pegged perfectly. So did others here. You've made a complete moron of yourself publicly with this question. I'd suggest you stop digging that hole you're in and instead try climbing out of it.

Answer 74

Asker

Or maybe you are

Answer 75

Opinion Owner

In all seriousness, you should do your poor boyfriend a solid and proactively break up with him now.

And further, you should seek therapy, for your own sake and for anyone else who may have the misfortune of crossing paths with you in your current state of mind.

Answer 76

Asker

Why would I ever need therapy?

Answer 77

Opinion Owner

Because you're mentally ill.

Answer 78

Asker

Why would I be mentally ill for finding anal sex gross?

Answer 79

Opinion Owner

It's irrational.

Answer 80

Opinion Owner

The fact you don't understand all of this just underscores your need for professional help.

Answer 81

Asker

You just have no argument.

Answer 82

Opinion Owner

That statement is certainly no surprise coming from a mentally ill person. People like you are always the last to know about their condition.

Answer 83

Asker

You kinda look like the one with an issue here. You can't even give real arguments...

Answer 84

Opinion Owner

Arguing with the mentally ill is a waste of time, for obvious reasons.

Answer 85

Asker

Go away then

Answer 86

Opinion Owner

AshZ36 had you pegged perfectly. So did others here. You've made a complete moron of yourself publicly with this question. I'd suggest you stop digging that hole you're in and instead try climbing out of it.

Answer 87

BasicBad

Xper 5

Get over it prude. Hope he dumps you

Asker

11 mo
Insulting people is just pathetic

Answer 88

Asker

Insulting people is just pathetic

Answer 89

Dargil | 30.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I agree with you.

Asker

11 mo
Well thanks 🙂

Answer 90

Asker

Well thanks 🙂

Answer 91

Slyfox163

Xper 3

Honestly, I would be the same way.

Answer 92

Anonymous

Nope never been a fan of that.

Answer 93

bangyourhead

Guru

That’s weird.

I've recently learnt my boyfriend had anal sex with his ex. Now, I'm turned off. Can anyone relate?

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