Do friends with benefits actually work?

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Most Helpful Guys

MrOracle | 11.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Influencer

1 y

They "work" when everyone involved understands exactly what a friends with benefits is and what it isn't.

A friends with benefits is a person you have sex with at your mutual convenience, but on a regular, on-going basis, for the sake of satisfying your sexual needs. It is NOT a stepping-stone towards a romantic relationship, it is NOT how you get a boyfriend, and the ONE RULE of having a friends with benefits is that, no matter how you feel, you will NOT expect your friends with benefits to have or develop romantic feelings towards you. friends with benefits is an ADVANCED adult relationship, suitable only for those who are emotionally mature and are capable of having casual sex without getting attached. It also requires that people are honest with themselves and their potential partners about their true intentions.

If you are really looking for or wanting a romantic relationship with this person, then a friends with benefits is moving in the OPPOSITE direction - it will actually REDUCE the likelihood of ending up in a relationship. So, you need to figure out what you want before you get into either type of relationship.

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I’d say just regular friends is what I want friends with benefits isn’t for me
- MrOracle
  
  1 y
  Then you need to make sure you set clear boundaries and expectations, and maintain them. If you're going to be "just friends", you need to keep it JUST FRIENDS. No kissing, no touching, no making out, etc. Once you cross that line, you can't uncross it.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  His hold my hand... while in the friendship
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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I choose your answer as best answer because it’s very informative on what friends with benefits is and what friends are.
- MrOracle
  
  1 y
  Thanks. A lot of people don't seem to understand the concept, so hopefully they'll read my answer...
OneManOnly
Xper 5

1 y

No, I started it with this girl as friends with benefits she took advantage now she’s got me by the balls. She’s threatening me now

I regret getting along with her

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- OneManOnly
  
  1 y
  Can I talk to you about this?
- OneManOnly
  
  1 y
  If you don’t mind can you help?
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Sure yeah

Most Helpful Girl

babygirlneedsc_ck
Xper 5

1 y

For me personally it's been working out just fine the last few years

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What Girls & Guys Said

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clampfan101 | 4.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master

1 y

No more than temporarily. That kind of relationship isn’t meant to be long term.

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  So only works temporarily
- clampfan101
  
  1 y
  Anything is possible, so it might grow to something bigger than friends with benefits, but the chances sound extremely thin.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah me and him use date and I did sexual activity with him while dating on the third date. We broke up because he didn’t want to be with me and it seems like his Interested and I keep rejecting him when he asks me back out he wants the benefits.. an sexual relationship. I don’t know if it’s best to go for that. I did have a taste of causal sex last month for the first time his an virgin. And I’m not.. his jealous... and mad about me doing that.
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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  But both not wanting an relationship
- clampfan101
  
  1 y
  Personally, I only want a LTR.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  True... he thinks the benefits will work but I don’t because of the attraction.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  We didn’t work as a on/off couple dating causally, I wouldn’t give him sex only sexual activity in dating and his the type to have fun with...
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  So I told him we not friends with benefits
harshu1410 | 75 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 5

1 y

You must try to know for somedays make a friends with benefits

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Nahhh
- harshu1410
  
  1 y
  Why you don't wan to
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Not my idea of a relationship... got used for casual sex the first time I did it but wouldn’t do friends with benefits... I prefer sex in a relationship with someone that is interested in me
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- harshu1410
  
  1 y
  Liked ur thought
- harshu1410
  
  1 y
  Then you also don't sext
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah I don’t sext... I rather not let myself be used and taken for granted again... I had to remove him off social media he asked me why than he said all good... I don’t want an guy like him in my life..
- harshu1410
  
  1 y
  I really say your thoughts are like me in this
- harshu1410
  
  1 y
  Can we talk in pm if u are comfortable and if u think i am creep so you can leave
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Sure we can
chriscdi | 7.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master

1 y

yea for some time until someone catches feelings lol

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I’ve feelings for him but never tried it in real life not sure if he does for me he shows signs of being interested. We both don’t want the relationship with one other but he wants the benefits after me rejecting him, but we haven’t done anything sexual together as friends before.
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  okay, interesting, so decide if you want the friends with benefits or not is all i can say 😂
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah would it work if I had feelings for him but not wanting a relationship? His the type of guy to have fun with.
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- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  well if you want but just know you won't be the only one he would be fucking so if you know that it wouldn't bother you if you acknowledge he is having any kind of affair with another girl then i guess go for it.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  His an virgin and I’m not I had a taste of causal sex... with another guy he got jealous, it feels good but I don’t want to go crazy with it. I use date him... and his idea of a relationship was the benefits. He wants a sexual relationship. I’ve done sexual activity while I was dating him so, should I go for it?
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  well he is a virgin but when he is not, you'll basically be opening doors for him, like i said if it won't bother you if he has sex with other women then yea go for it but im sure if he feels it once he will wanna keep doing it and he is going to want to fuck other women too ha
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I want to make him wait...
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  um alright make him wait ig, i believe you are his closest door to loosing his virginity right now, something else you can do is have sex with him one and then keep your distance to try and avoid getting anymore attached
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Me and him see each other once a week at a program but he wanted to hold my hand. I already have some attraction for him but he only wants a bit of sex with me and I want the sexual activity again and he doesn’t think we can be regular friends tbh but thinks we would be good as friends. If it does happen I hope it’s good while it lasts cause I don’t think it work.
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  well if you are emotionally attracted to him as well you will have a hard time with friends with benefits because after all if he wasn't going to fuck other women then he probably wouldn't have had a problem with starting a relationship with you, sounds like he is planning to clap all kinds of cheeks after you take his virginity, who knows, maybe he wants you to take it cause you are a good friend and a good girl and well who wouldn't want to loose their virginity to a girl thats worth loosing it too, better than some random thot, maybe he is waiting to loose it to you so he can go around doing shit, it would explain why he wouldn't want a relationship with you but would still want to have sex with you. 🤷🏻‍♂️
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  That’s why I want to make him wait... only seen him 6 times in person... and known him for 2 years...
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  make him wait? why? what difference would that make lol
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  He was an random I went out with... so I wouldn’t give it to a random guy.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  And I don’t feel comfortable yet
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  huh? i thought you lost your virginity, im confused
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  if youve known him for 2 years thats not a stranger lol
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah but I lost my virginity to an guy I known for 7 years and I known him for 2 years...
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  So I told him we not friends with benefits
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  well he wants to loose it to you apparently, maybe try just doing it to get it over with or something, because who knows, maybe he will change his mind
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Than he said yes we are ok after I said we not friends with benefits
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  ok so whats the problem? lol
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Think I just want to be regular friends
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  alright then its settled, just tell him that if he keeps trying to have sex with you
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah ok than
- chriscdi
  
  1 y
  cool
jirwin7979 | 2.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

1 y

if your open to it it is possible but for a guy my age i would have to say nope

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I’m not open to it but was just wondering I prefer not to have sex though with an benefit prefer an relationship
- jirwin7979
  
  1 y
  friends with benefits can ruin a friendship or make it better but both guy and girl have to set ground rules so there is no issues
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  True I prefer regular friends... a guy I use to date wanted to go back out with me for sex than I rejected him and he asked me for a sexual relationship and friends with benefits I said no to him...
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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  And other guys that ask me to be friends with benefits I always say no
- jirwin7979
  
  1 y
  i would not ask to start with lol im to shy and would have probs lol
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  True that
LOGESHKUMAR | 3.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru

11 mo

If you are open for it & if you both liked it then go for it..

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- twinkle88
  
  11 mo
  Not opened to it he dumped me four months ago didn’t want be with me doesn’t want a relationship i set my boundaries to just friends with guys
Mcluven | 770 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 7

11 mo

It can for some. I need to like to girl to enjoy intimacy. So i need to have an emotional bond

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Walrus_au | 2.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda

1 y

It can, but it is not for everybody.

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COMMODOREII | 14.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master

1 y

I had two and we worked out fine.

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- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Oh true I wouldn’t try it... don’t want to get used and abused ever again..
- COMMODOREII
  
  1 y
  That's your choice but we never used or abused each other. It was an agreement between friends nothing more.
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I tried causal sex for the first time he asked me if I want date him I said no and he convinced me into it and throw him self on me after I said yes to it was making me feel good thinking his interested but wasn’t.. for used for it didn’t see him again he now has a girlfriend a week later after it so I cut off communication
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- COMMODOREII
  
  1 y
  Casual sex is different to fwbs
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah...
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  I wouldn’t be friends with benefits... and have causal sex again
- COMMODOREII
  
  1 y
  Good ☺
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  But was with someone I knew for years and he sexual assaulted someone in school... and is a fuckboy...
- COMMODOREII
  
  1 y
  That was bad
- twinkle88
  
  1 y
  Yeah but I don’t regret it I treat others how they treat me
badbrdx
Xper 1

11 mo

if i have a friend like uh 💦

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- twinkle88
  
  11 mo
  Ok I wouldn’t be friends with benefits with any guy
- badbrdx
  
  11 mo
  ohh ok no problem
mnthan7
Xper 5

1 y

Yeah it is if you choose perfect partner

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Plitty-Tank
Yoda

1 y

It depends how great their job was.

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DRLover96 | 296 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 5

11 mo

Sometimes but someone always catches feelinge

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Taylerjohnson
Xper 1

11 mo

Only if you want it to

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andy530 | 4.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru

1 y

In my experience yes

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bangyourhead
Guru

1 y

For guys, yeah.

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