Am I overthinking or is it assault?

[Anonymous]

I know I asked this question before but I have a tad update. I have been dating this guy for 7 months. We were making out and he found a condom in the back of the car. I thought we were gonna have vaginal sex. He surprised me by putting it in my ass. I never had anal sex in my life. I was against it until I did research on it then told him I was up for it a while back. He didn’t tell me he was going in ass. He put it in for a few seconds. It didn’t really hurt when it was inside me (he had a condom on) but when he pulled out I felt the pain. I told him no more that really hurt it was uncomfortable ouch. He then moved me into a better spot in the back of the car. I asked him if he meant to get into my ass and he said no I said bullshit and we both laughed. I then thought we were gonna have regular sex. He tried again I saw him trying but he only got the tip in and then stopped. I was in shock like wtf. He probably realized I was saying no again and wanted vaginal sex and he had to finish as well lol. I was genuinely upset. After it was over I was truly scared and kept questioning him. He told me the reasoning that he wanted to try something new. And that after I said no it hurts he moved me into a better spot to see if it felt better. He calmly answered my questions in a nice manor. He said it’s not sexy to say every single thing ur doing during sex and I should trust him and his intentions by now. Today I told him I was upset and my ass was kinda sore lol. I told him how we need more communication regardless of it not being sexy. He swore to me on something he never swears on unless he truly means it. Should I believe him? I did loose some respect. So was it sexual assault? Or was it a misunderstanding? I also lost my virginity to him. He has pressed his luck before in the past but always stopped when I said no. But the other night was a tad different. I wish he communicated more during the time it happened and not had to wait after. What do you all think!

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It wasn't sexual assault. He was being a dick, and I wouldn't trust that guy anymore if I were you. The fact that he did it twice and then said that you should trust him more is a hint this is only gonna get worse because he doesn't see what he's doing as wrong.

He's just a young, stupid asshole. lol maybe he doesn't know what he's doing, maybe he does.

[Asker]

Lol he’s not stupid. He knows what he’s doing. Yeah I told him and he said he will communicate more from now on. Hopefully things will turn around if not bye Felicia lol.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Alright, have fun

[sossosxo]

Dick move

[Asker]

Yeah I agree a total dick move. I do trust him but he should of communicated more. He did apologize I’ll watch the behavior see if he learns from it.

[dthomas89]

Should have asked you first if you wanted to have anal sex. That was wrong of him

SHAME

[Asker]

How should I handle the situation with him.

[dthomas89]

You need to tell him how you felt about it

[dthomas89]

Number one reason a relationship fails? COMMUNICATION

[Asker]

I agree! I did. He apologized and said he will communicate from now on. Do you believe it was an assault or just miscommunication

[dthomas89]

It's technically assault, since he never asked you first, but, if you feel like it was assault, is all that matters I'm not your boyfriend, nor am i u, so, I don't know how you feel, nor do i care

[Asker]

Lol it was a dick move on his part

[dthomas89]

literally

[Asker]

So just tell him how I felt and talk about ways to avoid mishaps like that in the future would be best?

[dthomas89]

Of course! Number one failure of relationships, is miscommunication

[Asker]

I appreciate your replies. Hopefully we can work things out together and move past it.

[dthomas89]

I bet you won't

[Asker]

Whatcha mean

[dthomas89]

I guarantee you, you won't

[Asker]

Why you believe so

[dthomas89]

I just do I bet you two won't survive the relationship

[Asker]

Because of the anal or?

[dthomas89]

Yeah

[Asker]

Well I’ll tell him how I felt about it and see his reply. Hopefully there will be no more miscommunication in the future to avoid problems. But I’ll shall see.

[dthomas89]

I guarantee you, this relationship will fail, and it's not just about the anal, I GUARANTEE IT

[Elliot0_07]

You should put more effort to satisfy him. Let the man have soma goddam anal and take it.

Evenif it hurts you shold trust on him

[Anonymous]

You are making a mountain out of a molehill.