What do you think of people who wait till marriage to lose their virginity but still do other sexual stuff?

Question

ShortCircuit · Accepted Answer

First of all, if it's for religious reasons, your god won't see it as "waiting until marriage" like you do. If religion is your purpose for it, then you're defeating the purpose, and at that point may as well engage in vaginal sex too.

If it's for personal reasons, then I guess you can do whatever you want, but I would question how those reasons are logically consistent. I can't think of a single benefit to waiting until marriage that wouldn't be undermined by engaging in other sexual activities just as much as it would be by engaging in vaginal sex:
- If you're doing it to prevent jealousy in your marriage, oral sex would undermine that just as much as vaginal sex would.
- If you're doing it to weed out unsuitable partners, oral sex would undermine that just as much as vaginal sex would.
- If you're doing it to please your parents, oral sex would undermine that just as much as vaginal sex would.
There is no reason not to engage in vaginal sex that isn't also a reason not to engage in any other kind of sex.

But regardless of your reasoning, do what you want. I ultimately don't care. But whatever you do, do not deceive your partner about your sexual history. If your partner says he wants a virgin, you would be lying (by omission) if you told him you were one, despite engaging in other sexual activities besides vaginal sex. And that would make you a piece of shit. Don't be a piece of shit.

E-Warren-lover · Accepted Answer

I get it and it's kinda sweet especially if they are in their teens. For me it really depends when they are getting married. Some couples take 10 years to get married, that's crazy.
My first girlfriend and I were waiting because we were both super Christian, and all wee were doing was making out, then we moved on to truly humping, handjobs, blowjobs and even anal once (she did not like snal lol). Another thing we tried was lying naked in bed together, oiling each other up and her grinding on top of me until we both came with nothing but her thong between my dick and her clit. We tried it with me on top and her thong moved to the side and my dick slipped in just as I was cumming. She was mad as hell at me but she got over it and she wanted proper vaginal sex from then on as all that other stuff doesn't compare to actual intercourse.
I think if there's any real sexual attraction or spark between couples and if there doing sexual things with each other then nature will always win no matter how they try to save themselves for marriage.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I think its fine... being fingered, giving handjobs and making out are not a big deal for me... i kinda think oral would be best saved for engagement but it is what it is... if i meet someone whos down to wait til marriage, then im fine saving sex and oral. If i meet someone whos not down to wait til marriage then he's gonna have to wait somewhere between 3-6 months before i give into oral and somewhere between 6-12 months before i give into sex... just depends on if im in love and know he's the one

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Six of one, a half dozen of the other. I feel virginity goes much further than just not having intercourse. If they are doing everything but it is just a smoke screen - and a joke. But if they want to call themselves a virgin it's fine by me. Whatever blows their skirt up.

Obtuse · Answer

Sometimes I think they're kinkier than I was even though I thought myself promiscuous. It's like if someone who is a "virgin" has given lots of BJs, HJs, and even done anal while blowing people at the same time but still consider themselves "virgin", that makes me feel like a virgin even though I've had intercourse many times! :-D

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I plan on not even kissing on the cheek until I'm married - I know a guy who I believe would accept my conservative views

Tia_Maria · Answer

I tend to assume they are religious, which is not always the case. But it's always my initial assumption. I view it as their choice; just like it's my choice not to wait it until marriage.

linds34 · Answer

There's no way I could wait that long, but it's cool if somebody wants to do that!

MikeAndMolly · Answer

I think that's a damn sight better than the people who wait until marriage before doing anything intimate at all.

People need to experience sexual and intimate connection to discover whether they're compatible or not. This is really important to the health of a relationship long term, and is not a discovery to be put off until you've already exchanged vows.

Marriage should come only when a couple actually knows enough about each other and the relationship to know how happy they'll be together.

I tend to think that people (besides asexuals) should generally not get married before having a sexual relationship.

AlienParasite · Answer

I find it weird to consider that non vaginal penetrative sexual practices aren't sex, and even a bit hypocritical. But, if the person believe that's ok with their beliefs... I'm not a believer to tell them other way, and their beliefs don't hurt me. They can have all the sex, none, every sex except penetrative... whatever. It's not my business.

drsatan · Answer

I think they are naive, hypocritical and missing out. But to each their own.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

at least they are enjoying getting to 3rd base...

I have too many gfs back home that waited until marriage for sex, and it was disappointing... of the 6, 5 are divorced with kids mostly due to no romance and pathetic sex and their sexual needs not being met.

I didn't wait for marriage to find out I am locked into a relationship with a small dick and little or no romance.

Lliam · Answer

Well, I at least have to give them some credit. I think hanging onto virginity is a bizarre hang up, but at least they demonstrate some level of sexuality and willingness to please. If I couldn't get all the way up in there, though, I'd lose interest very quickly.

Duckysback · Answer

Because someone told them that it matters and they are to scarred or just unable to question that idea for themselves.

AzureGirl · Answer

Neutral. It’s a choice people make, be it due to religion, morals, or comfort level. It’s not a good or a bad thing and it’s certainly not anyone’s business aside from the individual and their future partner.

opnbuk59 · Answer

Other sexual stuff? Sex is sex if you mean fire play inserting it part way? You either abstain or go all the way there is no in between unless your just holding hands kissing but other sexual stuff, ok on other side I find it admirable to wait till you find some one worthy of the one thing that you can't take back, shows self control

whatisaname · Answer

What's the point? Seriously, not trying to be a smartass here but you're not really saving yourself if you're doing other sexual things

Regmorus · Answer

They have their needs, I guess. That's why they allow themselves to satisfy them a bit at least.

ImSparkly · Answer

I had a g/f who lived vicariously through me as she was saving herself. Someone may not have had PIV, but unless you grew up on a compound, nobody is truly innocent. The list of things that dont count seem longer than the list of things that do count as 'sex.'