Whats the difference between being dominant and being abused?
34
5
Add Opinion
Most Helpful Guys
Anonymous
11 mo
My partner acts like a bitch until I spank her. Last week she was being disrespectful and abusive verbally towards me so I grabbed a hold of her forcibly putting her across my knee and though she tried to struggle I yanked down her yoga pants and her thong and spanked her bare behind as hard as I could for about 3 minutes. She cried when it was over. The sight of her little bare behind all red and bruised turned me on so I insisted we had sex even though she was still emotionally hysterical. She was wetter that October and didn't take me long to cum and I just rubbed her clit and sucked on her nipples until she came. She of course ran home to her parents and told them what happened but they made her come back as they supported me taking her in hand. She came home and apologised and we had great make up sex, though she couldn't sit down for a week. She now has a new found respect for me and when she looks at me I can see a mix of love fear and arousal in her eyes. Now she often begs me to spank her during sex, and often will present her naked behind in public for me to spank.
If they are dominant they may sack you around, but they will still hug you, give you soft kisses, hold your hand, cuddle with you, spend time together doing other things, and listen to your limits/things you don't like. They would consider your feelings when doing things and only do things that you enjoy, but avoid things you don't enjoy or that make you feel bad emotionally. If they were abusive then they wouldn't care about any of that and would just do what they want regardless if you enjoyed it or how it made you feel inside.
1|0
0|0
Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Girls
msfuntastic | 484 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Explorer
11 mo
Dominated is just when he has control, you do as he says, you submit to him, etc. Abused is taking it a step further, more like he's "punishing" you and does more painful/extreme stuff.
MrOracle | 11.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Influencer
11 mo
Being submissive (and being dominated) is something you both desire and consent to. Being abused is NOT something you desire or consent to. Even if the physical action is identical, the consent is really the difference. Consent also determines WHO you want to do those things with and who you don't.
I may like ice cream, and I may enjoy eating it, but I wouldn't enjoy being forced to eat it when I didn't want to. Just because I want it sometimes doesn't mean it's okay to force it on me when I don't. That's the difference.
Being abused is being subjected to physical and mental punishment that you did not ask for, do not want and do not consent to or lack the capacity to consent to.
If you are accepting of, and willingly consent to without duress, dominant behaviour then it's not abuse.
0|0
0|0
Romeocuck | 477 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 5
11 mo
being dominated is being told when how where to do things which eventually suppose to be for your benefit if your Dom is a true caring Dom. being abused as appose of being dominated is making you do things even things that will hurt you physically and emotionally not for your sake but only to please the whim of the sadist who calls himself Dom
Exactly what @CubaPirate said and make sure you have a safe word and it is used properly. If it's the safe word and he she uses it when it isn't really needed ( as in the person using the safe word shows regret after the stoppage) then that person in MY opinion isn't ready for what they are asking for and the other partner better be REAL careful...
1|0
0|0
0112358 | 12.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master
11 mo
I think a non abusive D/s relationship is about meeting both their needs and ensuring both are happy, even if one aspect is scenarios where the submissive is used or denied things. But the non abusive dominant cares about the submissive’s satisfaction and wellbeing.
I think: to be dominated means you like giving control to the other one and actually give him/her your trust. In a dominated setup you would implement a safe-word, where in an abusive environment you would lose trust, fear and become a real victim.
0|0
0|0
Lunatic1 | 598 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 7
11 mo
The difference between being dominated and being abused is whether or not you enjoy it. There is a gray area of those who like being dominated may not like being dominated in certain ways, but that isn't abuse. You just need to inform your partner what you don't like.
1|0
0|0
Clarke498 | 1.3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Yoda
11 mo
You mean being submissive and being abused? The way i see those different is that the submissive is doing it because they like it and both parts know it's about mutual fun and exploring, while abuse is a shitty thing shitty people do that can't express themselves.
1|0
0|0
Nik1hil | 4.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master
11 mo
Dominant person dominates but also take cares of the girl responsibly like she is her daughter!..
Abusive person will Dominate! But not take care of the girl, and not take responsibility and treat her like shit..
Domination is not bring able to control what's happening to you, choking, getting restrained.. abuse would be along those lines but you have some control over it and its central idea is pain
Consent and respect are the main key factors but, there is a whole world of details in the margins.
0|0
0|0
SClassWizzard | 223 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Xper 7
11 mo
Abuse would be having shit done to you without consent
With a DOM, even a Dom would need consent from the Sub to receive punishment or whatever
1|0
0|0
Anonymous
11 mo
Being dominated is something you willingly participate in. The things that are done to you when you're dominated are for your pleasure and are things you're enjoying rather than done against your will or to inflict pain.
Being dominated is me fucking u, flipping u, bending u, telling u how to lay n how to do it? Dats me I like to fuk n can switch flip turn upside down 69 all of tha above
The difference is Between Love and Hate. Do you love that person when you abused them? Or do you hate them and are just using them as you appease them? LOL
I think as long as both people are into it and have set limits that are not crossed then that's OK they both have to agree on what to do and not to do and know when to stop if necessary
1|0
0|0
CuriousMufuxka | 2.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Guru
11 mo
That's a really wide range. I could sum that up with whether she likes it or not, but what about the male perspective? Oh wait.. doesn't matter.
1|0
0|0
Anonymous
11 mo
Well if you slap someone and this person clearly doesn't want you to do so, it's abusive. If the person begs you to do so, not so much. One of my ex was into a lot of crazy things, I wasn't "abusing" him. He enjoyed all of these shits...
1|0
0|0
COMMODOREII | 14.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.
Master
11 mo
Dominant is usually fun and there is an understanding by two parties and usually a safe word. Abuse is unwanted and can cause trauma to the recipient.
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
G@G Community 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
How Do I Look? 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel & Leisure 
Trending & News 
depends how much older he is. 75 year old Mick Jagger is dating 31 year old ballet dancer, is she too old for him?
Most Helpful Guys