He wants sex with multiple women he can't find fulfillment with one woman so he's clear he will not go exclusively with you so the ball is in your court.. is that good enough for you? Girl I was in your boat 7 months ago met an amazing man made me feel like I was the only girl in the world when we were together... apart id long for the next time I got to see him.. felt like we were dating to me but he only wanted casual when I asked how long before we can be exclusive he said I dont know I have a lot of work to do on me.. you deserve better than I am right now.. I said when your ready to go exclusively am I the one you want he said I can't be sure till that time comes lets stop wasting time abd enjoy what we have here and now... I left and never saw him again made it clear he didn't care about me just the sex was good.. we have wonderful memories together thats all they were ever be... I thought there's gotta be better than this.. met a lot of guys not my type began losing hope thinking at least we had common interests.. kept looking felt bad when guys said they had feelings and I didn't or try abd talk me into being with them both David and Josh but werent my type met a David online that was long distance ideal guy just too far away couldnt do it anymore... outta no where I met Matt and thinks were effortlessly like Mike but 1000x better 7 months later so this guy may be great but there's better out there if exclusive is what your looking for!
"... but then when i bring up being exclusive he wants to only casually date and says he doesn't want a relationship."
He literally told you what he wants! Yes, he's just after sex and spending time with you, but NOT a serious relationship.
No, he's not going to change his mind; he likes the way things are... though by the sounds of it, you want more.
Let the record he was clear with his intentions! I'll give him that much... even if it's not what you want.
I suggest you let him go before you fall deeper for him or get too attached. Otherwise it will be harder down the road.
Must be one amazing specimen...
Make of it exactly what he just said... he's not "dating you" to get to know you for anything more than a night. Of course he's into you, he's enjoying life and understand women and what he wants. Kinda sounds like a player to me.
Depends on the definition. To me... and others I know, "casual dating" was a platonic thing. We'd date others to see who we like the best. I see nothing wrong with that, but at some point, you pick one or none.
His definition appears to be "sleeping around"... e. g. buy dinner, have fun, get sex. That's your choice if that is what you choose it to be.
I think your dating process is not in synch with your inner value system. Usually when I see this, it's due to low self worth/esteem and often related to a missing a father figure. You have to be ready to say "no" in this world.
If that's the case, then the value out of this is to work on yourself because he seems to have been very clear, at least at some point. It is up to you to decide what you do and do not accept so that your self is maintained.
It is not right to project onto someone else your expectations of how things should be.
The ultimate solution to this as I've said probably 20 times... get a ring on it. That's how women used to do it!
He is being crystal clear: he doesn't want all the responsibilities and expectations that come with a relationship. He's perfectly happy with the current arrangement and isn't interested in going any further, and he's being (and sounds like he has been) up-front with you about that.
By going forward, you're tacitly agreeing to those terms: that you're willing to be Friends With Benefits (which is the common term for this) and NOT expect to ever be anything more.
If you want a full romantic relationship with a guy, you need to make that very clear from the start, and you cannot have sex with him unless he clearly understands and agrees that he also wants a full romantic relationship. It's YOUR job to set the boundaries and expectations, and to enforce them. And once you start down the path to friends with benefits, you're never going to get a relationship, because friends with benefits is the opposite of that, and moving in the opposite direction.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!the term alone doesn't necessarily imply using anyone as you're both on board it means exactly what it sounds like. However his responses to your questions are major fucking red flags he's telling you y'all are just fucking and she still wants to fuck other girls as well. I'm not saying give him an ultimatum I'm saying that it's time to decide whether or not you are okay with a strictly physical relationship because this isn't going any further anytime soon and even if he does agree to be exclusive with you he probably won't be if the opportunity arises he's going to fuck whoever he gets a chance to.
Terrible
Just sex. I mean he might like you as a person but he's not going to attach himself to you emotionally. If you want more he is saying it is not going to happen. He isn't using you if he made it clear that he doesn't want more. He'd be using you if he lied about his intentions.
it hurts
I know I've been there when I was around your age but it now you know what you want and what you don't want so it will be easier as you move forward in your life.
Depends, when I was in Uni there was a decent amount of "casual dating" because there'd be a lot of stress over tuition costs, time constraints, etc.
I think at least half of the "casual" relationships my friends were in become serious ones though, I think I saw two of my friends put up their engagement announcement a week ago.
That's not to say "casual dating" can't mean sex friends though
Is he dating anyone else?
yes he's dating others
You must accept him as he is or start looking for someone else. It sounds like this is over.
If you have feelings for him or looking for a serious relationship, I suggest cutting this guy loose and looking for someone who wants what you want. Your time is valuable.
thats true, it hurts to let go but its probably the best choice.
If you want something serious/committed move on. He doesn’t want that and at least he’s being honest about it. Find someone who is serious about you, you owe it to yourself.
thats true!!
I'm in a similar situation. Only I'm the one who doesn't want the exclusive relationship and not because I wanna fuck around with other girls but because I know that I might be moving away in half a year and don't want to commit to something I can't keep. But at the same time I love being with her and don't want to break up entirely.
A little selfish I know but i try to make sure she's also having a good time.
What do you expect? women are the ones with the power to determine the rules of engagement (gatekeepers of sex), and they failed when they bought into sexual liberation... not realising that the ones they liberated were men.
This guy will never commit to you because he does not need to. There is no incentive. There is only incentive when every woman expects to be courted, is loyal, and is committed. But nowadays he can guarantee he can find another woman that will just have casual sex.
listen if a guy tells you that he does not want a relationship, there usually is a big reason why he doesn't want one. If you think that having casual sex with someone is gonna make him eventually fall for you, it is not likely gonna happen 90% of the time. Typically the girl ends up falling for the guy and the guy will not return her feelings.
My opinion, yes. I am pretty old-fashioned as far as that is concerned. I never had sex without being in an established relationship. The entire idea of “casual sex” or “friends with benefits” is something I completely disagree with.
"Using someone" means making false promises to obtain something now. Sexually this means pretending interest in a long-term relationship to get sexual favors. Your guy is not using you -- he's being completely honest. There's nothing to figure out. You can keep seeing him because you enjoy the sex or stop seeing him because you want to focus on finding something more serious.
Believe people the 1st time when they show you. He clearly does not want commitment. I'd leave and find another if that's what you want
That he doesn’t want to be tied down to just you , he wants to have freedom of seeing other girls as well , so that’s something you have to think about , and whether you still want to have sex with this guy , he likes the convenience of you
Does this mean I’m not good enough for him?
Pretty. Much he is kind of keeping his options opened considering he doesn’t want to settle just with you
Well I guess it is. Clearly he's not ready to be in a relationship yet. Just go have fun while it lasts.
... but asking him to be in a relationship, she’s apparently not “having fun”
Just go with the flow
thats what makes me sad tho to just go with it. Yes I enjoy him now, but to think it won't be long term and he could just leave me for anybody at anytime is hurtful.
No. It's clear he doesn't want anything more. If you want an exclusive relationship I would consider seeing other people, with the mindset to date. And make it clear to them that's what you want. The only way he'd be using you is if he made you think he wanted to date. If you don't like where you are with him you can't blame him for it. Find someone else.
If he's taking you to the theater, dinner, dancing etc, it's dating. If he doesn't want to be exclusive, that's his choice, even if sex is involved. If you want someone to be exclusive with, it's probably not this guy. He told you.
Hook up with another guy, then remind him you guys aren't exclusive
Stop with the sex part for a few time and see if the talking and hangout decreases, if it does you got your answer of his motives.
That he doesn't want a heartbreak (again?).
It's incredibly easy for a girl to find someone else. Do that.
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