How important is sex/ making love in a relationship?

[claryy]

What sex means for you?

I think it is a very important thing in a relationship, in my opinion it help to make two people closer, expecially when there is already an emotional connection.

[nightdrot]

While it is not sufficient for a relationship, it is necessary to a relationship. I as a man need sex. Not in the sense of need for food and water, but it gives a dimension to a relationship that makes me feel wanted and loved and also like a man and a protector.

My girlfriend and I have lived together for 12 years and have three children. We, somewhat to our own surprise as we are actually otherwise fairly traditional, found that the idea of a big ceremony, an expensive ring and a permission slip from the state was a turn-off. My girlfriend and I love what we share. It is natural and beautiful and marriage seemed like a contrivance that took from that. An artifice that added nothing meaningful and so seemed to actually diminish what she and I share.

There is so much that we share and I love her - and the three little gifts she has given me - with all my heart. I cannot imagine how empty my life would be without her.

Yet sex is important to that. As a man, I need that sense of animal release. When we have sex we are reduced to our most base selves. Shorn of all pretense. I am all that I am and nothing else, giving the most elemental thing a man can give to a woman - my sperm, my seed, my self. My girlfriend is giving herself to me, her naked body for my use and my pleasure and to bear my offspring.

Truthfully, it is very base and very primal and very instinctive. We stop being humans in a way and are just two animals breeding in a field. Doing what nature made us to do and instinct drives us to do. We are all that we are and nothing else, sharing and giving to each other.

Yet here is the funny part. It becomes the most intense intimate love. It is like the whole universe shrinks down to just the two of us. I want her and I need her and when I feel her skin against mine, and when I feel her warmth in my arms and when I feel myself inside her, the sense of connection and intimacy and a sense of sharing and love - and being loved - like I have never known.

It is animal and primal. I feel like a man, raw and bestial, and I feel a sense of physical release. (My girlfriend jokes that I am controlled by my penis.) I also feel warm and safe and love and respected and wanted. I also paradoxically feel caring and protective and totally giving of who I am for the woman I am with. Here I am, all that I am, pure man, pure animal, and I have nothing left to give and I would give it all for her.

Could I live without sex with my gf? Probably. There is more to what we share than sex. It is intellectual and emotional and not just physical and instinctive. Yet, I can't lie, I would feel lonely. There would be a sense of connection that would just not be there anymore and there would be a need - both animal and emotional - that I would miss.

So yes, sex is a big thing in a relationship. It is about who we are and what we share. It is being open and honest and vulnerable to another human in a way that you could otherwise never be. A relationship can survive without sex, but it would be a shadow of what it could be - and I, and I think most people, would feel that intensely.

[MrOracle]

It's one of 4 or 5 things that in my opinion are vital to making a romantic relationship work. Sex by itself is certainly not enough to sustain a relationship by itself, but you also can't sustain a romantic relationship without it.

[R_ūshī]

It's really important for me, not more important than having a healthy emotional community and a healthy relationship. Ofc these things come first but sex is important too.

It's like a new chapter for me. My boyfriend and I had never talked about doing or whatever. He knew I wanted it but we were taking our time.

I was at his place and we had some sexual happen... I don't know just in the spur of the moment. He was extremely happy and I could tell. I felt like I was closer to him after that. It happened again the other day.

And now we're looking forward to having our official first time soon. Like it's really like a whole new level for us.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Considering I'm not a very sexual person, nor have I had great sexual partners in the past, it's not that important to me.

Yeah, sex is nice. But I'm more concerned about forming an emotional connection, trust, and being with a reliable man that makes me happy! Sex is just an added bonus that comes along with that.

[AnonUser1902]

Personally, sex is extremely important in a relationship. If you cannot interact sexually, then why not just stay friends? I understand sex isn't everything and there is a lot more to a relationship, but it would be an issue if i was involved in a relationship with no sex

[opinionated_hoe]

The intimacy involved in sex is definitely a key component of a relationship

[katiesmuff]

I certainly agree totally with your opinion, however not everybody thinks like us and the importance of sex will vary as well.

[SHEKNOWS]

I can't get enough (with my boyfriend) I'd say our relationship is already like at 100% and sex just keeps it there.

[AzureGirl]

To me it’s not so much an important thing than other aspects of a relationship. Yes, sex is good, but it’s not something I want as the center of my relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

Without sex, it is friendship.

[Regmorus]

If a relationship needs sex for being maintained, that's nothing for me. I accept only relationships, that don't need anything to be maintained in eye of both participants.

However that is one of the parts of living your relationship usually.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Emotional/sexual-where I think both have a need for it but males tilt to the sex and females tilt to the attention (emotional).

I think if that is not what it's solely based on alone, then someone is out to get something. Money, fame, power, admiration, clout, etc.

Basically when I run into a couple I immediately deduce their codependence or the quid pro quo between them. Rare is it something as simple as just sex/attention unless it's a short lived affair.

[SpeedVoid]

Sexual appetite and performance were definitely things I looked at when choosing my wife. If the sex isn't fire then in my opinion the chemistry is bad. Obviously I believe everyone needs more than a physical connection too but I think we all know that.

Everyone is unique though. Some folks never want it, others need it.

[Interstate]

The idea is to make it a PERMANENT closeness. Unless you are already married, you are making a permanent commitment to somebody you don't even know if you will spend the rest of your life with under marital vows. Think of it this way... you engage in intercourse with the other. You break up, meet somebody else and repeat the same actions. You are doing nothing more than bringing another man / woman into another person's bed. It isn't that different from somebody who cheats on their spouse with multiple men/women. They are taking a piece of the last person into the bed of the next, and so on and so on. So stop and ask yourself this question..."Do I want to sleep with this person knowing that they were in bed with somebody before me?" If it was somebody who just had a freshly finalized divorce, that is different. Otherwise, they are bringing other's into the same bed with you, not to mention you are doing the same if you had multiple partners before this person. So do yourself a favor and don't think pillow talk until he has two rings on your finger.

A lot to take in isn't it? That's what she said.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

For me it's mostly a chore.
It's always less than satisfying.

[claryy]

Why?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

We often do only what she wants, all the time.

[claryy]

I think that you need to talk with her

[Pamina]

It's absolutely crucial.

[WingGirl]

Very important. Girl's got needs ya know.

[WhitneyE99]

@winggirl know what you mean. I so want to date a girl so I can have sex with her a lot.

[Bongem]

It depends really. To me it's an emotional connection, for friends of mine it's more a physical thing. In any case: you need to be on the same wave with your partner on this one, so talk about it and tell your partner what you expect, like and ask what he/she expects, likes... and so on. It can be a normal physical thing or it can be a very emotional intimate thing. If your partner is a bit different in that area than yourself... see if that is something that would become an issue or not in the future. Some break up over it, others say: get it somewhere else, etc... . Make your own rules as a couple.

[slatyb]

I think it's very important to most people. It's important to me, and it's been important to all the women I have dated.

[Finchie40]

Very important , you should both want each other equally , if a relationship starts to feel one sided and sex starts to die down then that’s when trouble starts to enter the relationship , cheating and affairs start to occur , marriages turn to divorces , breaking up occurs in relationships, why it’s important to keep sex a live in a relationship , a person that says otherwise is in the wrong , you should always make your partner feel wanted , you didn’t get into a relationship to be single , so your selfish days are pretty much over, I run into married girls a lot at the bar I go to and I hear the same story over and over that their husbands don’t want sex with them so she becomes interested in getting it elsewhere same thing guys for guys that have girlfriends and wives that hold sex against them , if they aren’t satisfied at home then they will get it elsewhere , sad to say it happens more then you think

[Dargil]

Sexual intimacy is one of the sustaining legs of a strong relationship. A relationship is like this round table with six legs that represent different parts of it. Like common interest, trust, beliefs, temperament, physical attraction and sexual intimacy.

The relationship can survive if one leg is missing or weak but can easily topple as well. Sex is not the only key but it is integral. Very few young guys will stay in a relationship without satisfying sexual intimacy unless there is an alternative outlet. One way or the other, he will get off.

[kenFold]

We like td o spit back and fourth in es each others mouths. Sounds nasty bu td if is so fucking hot

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think making love is more important , sex is not all up to what it should be
myself i live without it but that's just me. So i need a Woman with low sex drive?

[Ripper_E]

It's important, but it's not one of the most quintessential parts of a relationship. Sex is very important to me in that I want to sexually please my partner, not because it's very important to me, personally.
A relationship can survive without sex, unlikely, but it can. It's just people love sex so it's very unlikely, but it is possible. Can a relationship survive lies? No. Lack of trust? No. Lack of communication? No. Love? No.