I haven’t had sex in over a year and masturbating isn’t doing it for me. What should I do?

Question

I’m not good at meeting new people and I’m not the kind of girl to sleep with random people. The only person I have slept with was someone I knew for months.

I’m so embarrassed talking about this because usually girls can just go sleep with whoever they want. I can’t do that. I can’t bring myself to do that. What should I do?

Answer 1

BeRealU

Xper 4

It’s not bad or weird that you want real intimacy and not a cheap imitation.. it does make it harder when you can’t get yourself off but, maybe you just need to add a new element to get you off.. like sexting or looking at a different type of porn.. worst case scenario, try toying with heat and cold.. maybe a new sensation can re-ignite your flame?

Answer 2

bangyourhead

Guru

You gotta get out there and meet people. Do you have female friends who know some guys?

Asker

11 mo
All of my female friends aren’t really my friends. And they would never introduce me to a guy. They like to keep guys to themselves.
bangyourhead

11 mo
What about hobbies or activities? What do you do for fun? Do you work?
Asker

11 mo
I work for a mortgage company and I paint as a hobby. There’s clubs here for artists but they are full of people 60 and up. I’m always the youngest one there. Most people around here are into drugs and getting drunk everyday. I’m not into that lifestyle so it’s hard to meet people.
Show All Show Less
bangyourhead

11 mo
What about joining a running club or joining a gym? Go places where men go.
Asker

11 mo
I didn’t think about that. Well I already got a gym membership last week actually... I just don’t know if I would attract anyone.
bangyourhead

11 mo
Probably you would. But some guys may be hesitant to approach since there’s the paranoia about being a gym creep. But you can at least make some connections and who knows where things will lead.

Answer 3

Asker

All of my female friends aren’t really my friends. And they would never introduce me to a guy. They like to keep guys to themselves.

Answer 4

bangyourhead

What about hobbies or activities? What do you do for fun? Do you work?

Answer 5

Asker

I work for a mortgage company and I paint as a hobby. There’s clubs here for artists but they are full of people 60 and up. I’m always the youngest one there. Most people around here are into drugs and getting drunk everyday. I’m not into that lifestyle so it’s hard to meet people.

Answer 6

bangyourhead

What about joining a running club or joining a gym? Go places where men go.

Answer 7

Asker

I didn’t think about that. Well I already got a gym membership last week actually... I just don’t know if I would attract anyone.

Answer 8

bangyourhead

Probably you would. But some guys may be hesitant to approach since there’s the paranoia about being a gym creep. But you can at least make some connections and who knows where things will lead.

Answer 9

ThighsSquashGuy | 86 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Find someone you can build a connection with, meanwhile you can try masturbating with toys and such. Maybe try and find a new kink that’ll make it more exciting

Answer 10

TDCTD

Xper 4

Go to the gym especially if there are fitness classes like H. I. I. T , yoga, pilates etc. Another idea which can help meeting new people is going to dance classes ( I wouldn't because I don't like dancing).

Asker

11 mo
I joined a gym recently but I haven’t signed up for a class. That’s a good idea.
TDCTD

11 mo
I used to go to classe trying to meet girls hahah
Asker

11 mo
That’s actually a smart idea. Haha

Answer 11

Asker

I joined a gym recently but I haven’t signed up for a class. That’s a good idea.

Answer 12

TDCTD

I used to go to classe trying to meet girls hahah

Answer 13

Asker

That’s actually a smart idea. Haha

Answer 14

Sabretooth | 2.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

not to go all religious here-but i figured you might wanna read this: https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/keep-mind-off-sex/

Answer 15

Red_Arrow | 9.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Perhaps you could get back with the guy you had sex with already. Otherwise, you need to work on getting to know more people in general. Get over being shy.

Answer 16

Dargil | 30K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

The only thing I can suggest is to research innovation in masturbation. Toys and techniques. Better ways to pull the trigger. This will not appease a need for intimacy, but it would slake off libido.

Answer 17

NightFalcon333 | 131 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

Try to hump table edge with jeans on while going commando, the stiches will give your pussy a good rubbing & also great orgasms.

Answer 18

Anonymous

if I undersatnd this you are saying you want sex but you need time to get to know someone before you do that.

then you need to go out and meet people and get to know them...

Asker

11 mo
I struggle with dating. Guys don’t ever want to get to know me. They just talk about sex.
Opinion Owner

11 mo
find other guys, not all are like that. I hope... I know of some that were not, there's one out here your age that just wants to snuggle, be romantic, no sex. is that you? Maybe a match:) oh wait, you want sex...
Asker

11 mo
I can’t have sex without building a connection with someone first.
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

11 mo
understandable, you are like many people. you'll just have to work to meet and get to know someone.

Answer 19

Asker

I struggle with dating. Guys don’t ever want to get to know me. They just talk about sex.

Answer 20

Opinion Owner

find other guys, not all are like that. I hope... I know of some that were not, there's one out here your age that just wants to snuggle, be romantic, no sex. is that you? Maybe a match:) oh wait, you want sex...

Answer 21

Asker

I can’t have sex without building a connection with someone first.

Answer 22

Opinion Owner

understandable, you are like many people. you'll just have to work to meet and get to know someone.

Answer 23

Jaycrowe

Xper 3

Try a vribator? 1 of those new pink 1's? Put it in and just chill while it's on! It might tak awhile but soon u will feel it n boom u will have an awesome orgasm truch me try it. Put it n n leav it n see what happends

Answer 24

wisefool

Xper 5

so let me get this straight... you are embarrassed about not being promiscuous lol. get a cuddle buddy...

Answer 25

one1wild00 | 718 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

If you want to chat, you can DM me. and depending on what you are like and what you see I am like we might be able to solve your issue.

Answer 26

teaguru90 | 66 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 2

First off relax. Take a deep breath and try to not have the pressure on yourself that you seem to have added to yourself. 2nd take your time you don't want to just do it and them regret also

Answer 27

Aussie7 | 75 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 4

Im in a similar position at the moment.
Have you looked into Tantra?
This can help you feel more positive towards yourself as well as introducing yourself to a world of new incredible feelings.

Answer 28

andy530 | 4.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Change up how you masturbate, try sexting and mastrubating that way there is a human connection with it

Answer 29

Twalli | 12.8K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Lose your moral compass or accept it isn't happening

Answer 30

navyP | 1.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

Join the swinglifestyle and go to a party your drought will end

Answer 31

Guardian45 | 3K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

I'm happy to give you some advice and suggestions, but not in open forum.

Answer 32

Shamalien | 2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

U gotta wait for a good guy and form a relationship. Chasing sex will bring misery

Answer 33

Cannuck22

Xper 7

Find more exciting ways to masturbate. Or are you looking to meet someone.

Answer 34

Mcluven | 769 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 7

Find something to get you out the house. Exercize and if you masterbate make you fantasies dirtier. That normally helps

Answer 35

CloudsOFNeveermore

Xper 5

Try to talk with more guys for a month or two or more see if you feel any attraction of mind and comfortable.

Answer 36

adi_369 | 63 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 3

Try new things while masturbating.
Try sex toys.

Answer 37

billluc69 | 5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

find a friend to fuck you, just the way you like it

Answer 38

Romeocuck | 471 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

gigolo.. or you can call me to service you and then go

Answer 39

LiamSawyer | 3.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Find yourself an oral buddy.

Answer 40

dthomas89

Xper 7

You can, you just don't want to, why, i don't know

Answer 41

COMMODOREII | 14.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Are you looking for a bf? 😗

Answer 42

lumonde12

Xper 1

Masturbating can be good if you know how to do it

Answer 43

Iron_Man | 10.5K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

Get married

Answer 44

grega239 | 813 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Welcome to the club

Answer 45

i_got_no_fears

Xper 1

Well... tinder

Answer 46

Anonymous

Call me

I haven’t had sex in over a year and masturbating isn’t doing it for me. What should I do?

Most Helpful Guys

Most Helpful Girl

What Girls & Guys Said

Related myTakes