Does it sound like my boyfriend thinks I am crap in bed as he can’t multiple orgasm like he usually does?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. Everything was great to begin with.

I noticed he cums quickly, and I thought he had prem ejaculation, but I never mentioned this.

One time we had sex, he said normally he is able to cum several times without losing his hard on, as in it doesn’t go down after cumming, and he can go again a few times. But that I always stop after he comes the first time (as I wasn’t aware he could do that). He said it like this:

”Normally I can come loads before going down. My record is 8. The first one with me is always kinda meh, then they get more powerful. Loads of women love it. But you stop after the first one so it doesn’t happen.”

Him comparing me to “loads of other women” really effected me. But I took it on board, and the next time we had sex after he came I carried on going, and he went soft. This happened a few times before it made me feel like shit.

He can do it, as I make him cum 2-3 times in one hardon with my mouth but not from sex.

I talked to him about it and He tells me that I am the best sex he’s ever had, and that he told me about it as he has never been in the situation he is in with me. That with the other women his first orgasm always took longer, and when he did cum he was able to carry on. But with me the minute he puts it in that he is fighting the urge to cum, and when he does cum it happens so fast that he can’t keep it up afterwards. He said he was feeling embarrassed about not performing well and decided to brag about previous times, and that he’s devastated that it has made me feel this way and ruin everything.

My issue is that I am now totally in my head about it all the time and my confidence has completely disappeared. I feel like I don’t live up to all the other women he has been with. This is starting to destroy our relationship, and the thing is we are completely in love.

Are there any guys guys out there who have this ability who could let me know if his explanation could be the truth?

[danman27]

If he didn't enjoy you as much as other women, he probably would've moved on. It sounds like he was trying to impress you by saying that and then when you took it on board he couldn't live up to the expectations he placed in your mind.
This does not sound like your problem at all

[Asker]

He has actually said exactly that to me before, about how he would have moved on if he didn’t enjoy me as much. I just don’t know how to get it out of my head, because I keep justifying him staying with me as it being because we are so perfect for each other in every other way, that he just puts up with mediocre sex in order to keep our relationship together. Does that make sense?

[danman27]

I know what you mean but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Sounds like you're too good at it 😅

[Asker]

🤣 I really hope that’s true!! 😅

[KingDio]

I don't think it's the truth and just masking his inability to hold it together before he cums and comparing you to "other woman " is just shifting the blame

[Asker]

So do you think it’s a case of me being rubbish in bed? As my self esteem is rock bottom. 😓

[KingDio]

God no.. this has nothing to do with you the fact you do make him cum you must feel super nice, this is all him with this erectile dysfunction problem

[Asker]

Yeah it did used to be flattering him cumming quick, until this. What bothers me is that I can get him to do it with my mouth, but not by riding him. Can erectile dysfunction effect a guy during sex but not head?

[KingDio]

Sure can it's a different sensation , it's all about the action, sensation and desire going vaginal, way more excitement going inside then a blow job ( don't get me wrong blow jobs are great and feel good ) like in really rare occasions I've lasted only less then a min and it's all down to being too excited/too horny but other times lasted up to a hour but never used the " other girls " excuses.. more like put my hand up and say "way too excited and you feel so damn good" lol

[Asker]

Ok that makes sense. Can it also feel different from a guys perspective when the woman is on top? Just since this all kicked off he has managed to do a few in one hard on, but with him on top. It only seems to effect him negatively when I am on top, which is what is making me worry that it’s my technique. At one point when we were trying to sort it out he said he thought it was because I was going too fast, so I tried slowing down but that seemed to actually make things worse and he would sometimes cum quicker than me going fast. Sorry for all the questions, it’s just good to hear from a guys perspective.

[KingDio]

Woman on top is quite erotic sight , a really good turn on in my opinion so I wouldn't say your style but more the fact seing you on top was probably a " omg So so good" which made him too excited

[Asker]

Ok that makes more sense. Thank you loads for answering all my questions. It’s helped a lot. 👌

[KingDio]

Not a problem, anytime 😊

[LiamSawyer]

Sounds like he is full of bull shut, but that's up to you to decide.

[mandowood]

Sounds like he has premature ejaculation problems and has found a way to make you think it is your fault.

[Asker]

That’s what I thought initially. The fact that I can get him to do it with my mouth though worries me that I can’t do it when I am on top of him. Is it possible for it to effect him during sex but not head?

[mandowood]

Yes, some guys have issues with one over the other.

[Asker]

Ok thank you. That makes more sense.

[COMMODOREII]

To me it sounds like he likes you so much he lets himself go to early. Nothing wrong with that.

[Asker]

I am hoping this is the way that it is. I just don’t know how to sort it out. The other thing is that I can only reach orgasm when I am on top, and because of this issue I haven’t been able to cum with him since we got together. For two reasons, how fast it finishes and how in my head I am about what he said.

[hamadazopry]

No, I believe he has a prem ejaculation and he's lying to you

[Anonymous]

Most guys hugely exaggerate their sexual abilities. He's definitely one of them.

[Anonymous]

I think it is his problem and not yours.

[Asker]

I keep trying to tell myself that you know? It’s just really difficult after what was said. It has really made me doubt myself. 😓