Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Should I tell my mom I lost my virginity last night at a party? Or not even tell her about it?

Yes tell her
Vote A
Keep it a secret
Vote B
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Updates:
+1 y
Guys i think I'm pregannt :'(
2 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sweetheart, this is not the place to go to answer that question. There is no way anyone who does not know you and your family can possibly answer that question. You need to seek the counsel of people you know and trust, and take account of the circumstances.

    Frankly, I confess that I am of two minds. I am the proud besotted father of three small children and I love them with all my heart. (In fact, my girlfriend and I have lived together for 12 years and our children were all born out of wedlock. We do not want to be married as we think it is a contrivance that dilutes what we share.) I am also a man who lost his virginity at the age of 16. I got two other women pregnant in my 20s and 30s - one miscarried and one aborted my baby without telling me. The latter the most painful thing that has ever happened in my life - I miss that baby so much.

    So I start from a mixed place. On the one hand for you to have sex is healthy and natural. Which is not the same thing as saying it is right and appropriate. That is the difference and how your mother would respond to that there is no way to know without knowing her.

    Maybe she would respond to that as I would like to think I would. It is natural as your body matures that you want sex and would have sex. I would want to know that you had taken proper precautions. I would be happy for them, in a way. Honestly, also, I would not want to admit it, but I would feel a bit different about my sons losing their virginity than my daughter - though I would keep that to myself. It matters not what my heart says but what my head tells me and what my children need.

    So my gut tells me to tell you to tell her. A lot depends on the circumstances. Of course, if you did not use birth control and get pregnant, the issue will be resolved for you. So you need to consider the chances of that. Better to surprise her now than with a pregnancy announcement later.

    Also, as a minor, your mother has legal responsibility for you and that it not unimportant. This then relating to the way she raised you, her religious and other beliefs, as well as the circumstances in which you lost your virginity. (Was it casual? Was it mildly forced? Was it with a bf?)

    Sorry, I have palavered on. About the only thing I can say for sure is that as a father I would want to know and I would like to think that I would handle it well - especially given what I have learned in my own life. Indeed, as I say, I would actually, depending on the circumstances, be happy for my children. So what you need to do is think about how your mother will react and make sure, however you tell her, that she hears what you want her to hear and not necessarily what you want to say.

    Finally, you need to ask yourself what is to be gained for you and for her. If all she will be is upset, is that important relative to what you need to hear from her. Bottom line, if you feel you need her counsel and that you will benefit from what she has to say, then you should tell your mother. Just being careful to keep in mind how she might react to the extent that you losing your virginity might, in her mind, reflect upon her.

    Hope that helps, at least a little.

    • Sweetheart, I saw your update. I can imagine that you are greatly frightened and not sure where to turn. Again, I cannot pretend, without knowing you or your circumstances, to give you specific advice. However, first I would urge you to get a pregnancy test and confirm your suspicions. Take it from a man who has been through more than at least a dozen false alarms and 5 confirmed pregnancies, this is not sure. Then, if you are pregnant, tell the young man. Allow him the opportunity to step up to the plate. Also, never forget, this will not be easy, but I can promise you, this will be the most beautiful blessing. Yes, I know that it does not seem like it now, but you will have a little life that you will give you the most unconditional love that you have ever known. It will not be easy - especially if the father does not support you - but you can do it and you will be the stronger better person for it. Good luck and from a man who has been there, I sincerely offer your my support and - yes - my prayers for your happiness and that of your little baby always.

  • Why do you feel you must let someone know I don't know your relationship with you and your mom but if you feel the need to tell her it must be a close one as it should be now put yourself in her place and tell her in your mind how would she react would she be proud happy or sad disappointed, it's up to you how you handle it but consider how she might take it and decide if it's worth it, now years later your married with kids you and her are sitting talking then tell her, and laugh it off there's s time for everything let's not jump the clock if we don't have to

Most Helpful Girls

  • Did you use adequate protection like birth control pills with a condom?

    If you did not use a condom or even if you did if your partner has not been tested for stds if he has had sex before you need to get tested for stds. My mantra as a mom is ask for std testing before having sex with a guy.

    Just a condom might not be adequate protection for pregnancy.

    If you were at all not careful you need to at least see your doctor or obgyn for std testing and you might need to get a Plan B ASAP. Going to the doctor may or may not require your parent to be with you.

    If were careful but you start having symptoms you need to tell her so you can get treated. Some stds can leave you sterile or worse the silent ones like HIV can kill you without treatment.

    I asked that is how I found out and I had her do the follow up care of doing the labs and did the pregnancy test even though she said she was careful. My mind exploded for awhile but it was better it was dealt with quickly.

    • You are kidding us right?

    • No im not :/

    • Did you take the test yet? Did you use any form of protection?

  • It just really depends on what kind of relationship you have with her.

    I can talk to my mother about my sex life without judgement, she just offers advice on things to be cautious of etc, but not all mothers are like that.

    Should I tell my mom I lost my virginity last night at a party? Or not even tell her about it?

    • My mom not like that

    • Just keep it to yourself than unless you see something to gain by it. Nothing is gained by upsetting her and even causing negative results with a lack of trust in you that she will end up with.

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What Girls & Guys Said

20 54

  • you're not the first to have ever had sex, so it's not required to tell people. "hey, I just had sex"
    Why would you feel you need to tell her? Did something happened that you want to talk about? Did the guy take advantage of you in any way?

    Otherwise, I see no reason, sex is part of life and normal as long as it is consented and done with responsibility and under no circumstances when drunk.
    Keep it smart, use protection and be aware that some STDs can be transmitted even with condoms on: herpes for example or HPV. These two can show no visible signs in an infected partner.

  • If you feel like you need to tell her, then you should. Particularly if there's other stuff that happened that you might not be sharing, like you were pressured, etc
    If you don't, then don't.
    It's a very personal experience, it's up to you who you tell.

  • I think you should tell her so if something happens she can help you. I got a UTI the first time was in pain for 2 weeks before I said anything.

  • Just what she always wanted to hear, that her daughter is a Ho. Congratulations on your troll. You are now a member of the once virgin, twice fucked crowd.

    Should I tell my mom I lost my virginity last night at a party? Or not even tell her about it?

  • It depends on your relationship with your mom. If it's going to upset her, don't tell her. If she's going to celebrate with you and share stories from her youth, tell her.

    by the way, how was your first time? Was it awesome or meh?
    Either way, you're a woman now. Celebrate. I hope you revel in the experiences that are to come.

  • If you aren’t on birth control at all and intend to be sexually active now then I would mention it. You don’t need to go into details aside from being honest when she inevitably asks if you and the other person were being safe about it. If neither of you were safe (no condoms, no birth control) then you need to tell her regardless in case you get pregnant. If neither of these apply and you have birth control and were practicing safe sex then telling her is up to you.

    • I am not on bc and we did have safe sex? He pulled out?

    • Pulling out is not really a birth control method. It’s a hit and miss action that can still get you pregnant. You really should tell your mother then.

    • Pulling out as 50/50 at best

    • Show All

  • If it was rape, or if you feel you need to get checked for stds then tell her.

    Otherwise no. I don't think she would want to know

  • How do you think she would respond? Are you using some form of contraception?

  • Because of your age, I don't think she'd be happy to hear that. So it's probably best to keep it to yourself...

  • Depends on how close you are with her. And how you think she will act.

    • Im not super close im close with my father. and I think she be upset

    • Then I wouldn't tell her unless you need to get tested because you didn't use a condom and can't drive yourself to get tested.

    • Okay. and i ain't pregannt he pulled out

    • Show All

  • As long as you were safe, if you don’t feel comfortable telling her you can keep it to yourself.

    • saw update, get a pregnancy test ASAP. Cheap ones from the pharmacy work just as well as any.

  • your mother already knows. momma knows her babies. uh, it would depend on if you think you were safe about it or not. your mom will be able to help you, if you get into trouble.

    that being said, there are some boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. if you're going sexually active, you might wanna consider moving out. i'm sure your mother doesn't want her house to turn into a fuck palace, no offense.

  • That really depends on how close you two are.
    Will she be supportive of your choice?

    • Not to tell her

    • Was it a good experience for you?

    • Ya I just didn't like the semen on my face.

    • Show All

  • Why would you want to tell her? that is your business she doesn`t need to know.

  • Depends on the relationship. I made the mistake of telling my mum about my first kiss and it did put a strain on our relationship. If you communicate well with your mum and she's willing to hear you out go for it

    • Sorry just thought it through. You lost it at a party any parent would have a problem with that and it could turn out wrong

  • If she doesn’t need to no then no

  • If you have a tight relationship with your mom its ok but still i would wait some time to tell her so it's not so jarring.

    • I don't i have a better relationship with my dad

    • I think you should wait at least a few monthes but at the same time be responsible tell them if you think you have to but that's really your business. You don't have to tell them either.

  • She probably already knows you did , Moms know everything lol

  • Nah. It's not her business... unless you want it to be.

  • Lets test the question.
    *How do you benefit from telling her? You'll probably get grounded.
    *How does she benefit from telling her? You will anger and hurt her.
    So nobody benefits. Keep it to yourself. Don't get pregnant.

    • She can't ground me cause id she do I'll cry and tell my dad. Anger her how? I wouldn't.

    • Do your parents live together?

    • Yes but there divorced

    • Show All
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